Chapter Twenty-Two - Goodbye.

For the last two days, I was trying to give as much time possible to James and me, I didn't want to waste a single minute. I guess he was doing the same, he was trying to savour every moment with me, for likes, yesterday both him and I went to a concert that I got the tickets to last minute!

I wish he had more time with me, I wish he could say here longer. All I could do is wish, but my wish is sadly not coming true.

His flight is at 5 PM, so we - we being Darko, Andrea and me - have to drop him off at the airport in around 3 PM, which then means that we have to depart from my place at about 2 PM. Even though my house is like a twenty-minute drive to the airport, the traffic can at times be, let's say, unexpected. Till two, there are only four hours left, this all feels so surreal...

Both me and James wake up...

"Good morning, baby..." he whispers gently into my ear before wrapping his arms around me. I could feel him kiss me neck before wrapping his legs around mine, imprisoning me with his body as if I was going to run away.

I gently turn around, facing him before giving in to the embrace. I hug him tightly as I can feel his response. He tightens his grip around me, as I rest my head on his big, right shoulder blade.

"Are you okay, beautiful?" He whispers into my ear, he knows that something is wrong.

I want to force myself to nod, I want him to think that I am okay, to know that I am okay, but if I do I know that my heart will strike back with its pain that I can surely not handle without him. It will be like Igor's and my break up all over again but this time WAY worse, that is because I actually love James and he loves me back.

So I just shrug. I shrug because I don't know what to feel. I guess that me being numb would be the best description of how I feel, or maybe even how surreal this all feels. It feels so surreal but I know in my heart it is real.

"Did someone hurt you?..." He asks me.

I shake my head.

"You know you can tell me whatever it is that is bothering you and I will take care of it. I will protect you.".

"Who will protect me when you are gone?" I ask him, desperately trying not to sound like I was about to cry.

I sniffle as I can feel my nose run, that is when I felt his big hand on my head as he gently caresses my hair.

"I will always be here for you, where ever you are. Even if I am half the globe away, nothing can tare me away from you. I just want you to know that I am still here for you.".

I want to believe every word he says, but I can't. I can't because I know it is... unlikely... how will he be here when he is all the way in LA, I know that a love like ours won't last that long. Very soon, his goodbye is all I'll be left with. But I am willing to do this, to do this for us, for him, I am willing to do this because I love him more than I love me.

"I love you so much..." I whisper to him.

"I love you more..." he replies, chuckling before giving me a big kiss on the head. That is when I felt a tear roll down my right cheek, but before it could go any further, I felt his thumb caress and rub the tear away.

"I don't want to see you cry, okay?" He gently whispers into my ear. "Because nothing can tear us apart, not even the Atlantic, okay?".

I just nod before digging my head into his muscular chest. I am going to miss him so much, too much.

We stay in our naked... Well, half-naked embrace until it was really time for us to get up. Both him and I get dressed up, he hops over to get his luggage from some type of 'Rent-A-Room' shit that he stayed over at... For the first few days until my place became vacant for two people.

As I am waiting for James to come back, I sit on the couch, legs crossed with a glass of wine in my hand. I am deep in my thoughts, getting flashbacks of James's and my first encounter. Then another thought pops into my head. What if our encounter never happened? Where will I be now?... I know one thing for certain, if we never met, I would have never had anything as big as James shoved up me.

I giggle to the thought of that as I can still feel some pain tingling up my... Womanhood.

"I'll ask you again when your lips are all over mine..." I mutter under my breath as I remember him telling me that when we found out we were travelling together. "But you never did... You never asked me... You didn't even have to, I knew I'd kiss you...".

My thoughts were interrupted as a tear rolled down my right cheek. I quickly rub the tear dry before the sound of knocking caused me to jump in fright.

I quickly put down my glass of wine before racing over to the door. I take a deep breath before opening the door, revealing Andrea and Darko.

"I hope we are not late..." Darko says in his harsh, Serbian accent causing me to laugh.

"Don't worry, you are early!" I reply, letting them both in.

"Well, that is new..." Andrea teases Darko as they both sit down on the couch, beside each other. They remind me of James and I, sitting together... Kissing... Smiling at each other...

I discreetly divert my eyes towards the big window as I see it is snowing lightly once again.

"Ana, are you okay?" Andrea asks me.

I can't lie to my best friend...

I look at her.

"No..." Reply before words were replaced by my painful sobs. It feels so good to cry but at the same time, it hurts like a fucking bitch.

I feel arms wrap around me as Andrea pulls me in for a hug.

"I am so sorry that this is happening to you," I hear her whispering into my ear as I can sense that she is about to cry too.

"I am sorry because I know how it feels..." She adds before breaking down into tears.

"Are you talking about Adam?" I ask her, as tears continue making their way down my face.

"You remember!" she gently exclaims, I can feel her tears on my skin as I can hear her sniffles in my ear.

"Of course I do..." the though of Adam increases the urge for more tears to flow down my face. I try to keep my tears at bay, but it is hard to tame and calm down something so painful and heartbreaking.

"You never forgot him, did you?" I ask her.

She shakes her head. "I can never forget anything as sweet as that," she says before gentle sobs took over her ability to speak.

"I am sorry..." I whisper back to her causing me to breakdown into a further mess of tears.

"Do me one favour..." Andrea begins, hitching every breath from her sobbing.

"Yes?".

"Don't give up on him, it will be hard, but don't give up on him...". "That is one mistake that I will never be able to forgive myself... I am sorry Darko..." Andrea says.

"No worries... I understand" he replies.

If she was to still be in touch with Adam, everything would be different. I think she would be living in Canada with Adam, together... forever.

Some time passes.

James comes back and instantly drops his bags by the door, running over to cuddle up with me.

"Hey, don't cry, hush..." his voice so gentle.

"It hurts me to see you sad," he adds.

"It feels like my heart will break when I see you sad," he says.

"What will I do when you go?..." I sob.

He looks at me before answering me.

"Firstly, you are going to be strong, because you are a strong girl, you are my strong girl. When I arrive in L.A. I will call you, I will make sure that to be my number one priority. Okay?".

I nod before he pulls me in for a gentle hug. I am not ready to say goodbye...

Two painful hours pass by, I am wrapped up with James as I lay on his shoulder and he is resting on my head. The pain in my chest is indescribable.

"Shall we get ready?" Darko asks. "It is a quarter to two.".

I just shrug. I don't know what I want...

"Darko, please, let them be," Andrea says as she begins crying again, causing me to tear up again.

"I am sorry..." Andrea says, standing up as she sobs harder while walking towards the bathroom.

Turning around to where Andrea went, I turn back, facing James.

"I am sorry that this has to be this way..." he whispers into my ear.

I am sorry too... I am sorry is what I want to say, but nothing comes out of my mouth.

"We really should get going now..." Darko says, looking at his watch. It is coming close to ten to two.

I feel James nodding, giving me a kiss before standing up and heading towards his luggage. Darko helps him out as they go out of the house, leaving me alone, perfect for me to shed a tear or two.

I hear Andrea walking out of the bathroom with a crumpled up tissue under her nose. "Where are they gone?" she asks.

"The car..." I answer as a drop races down my face.

"I am so sorry..." Andrea approached me, before wrapping her arms around me.

I wrap my arms around as I am trying my hardest not to cry.

"Let's go..." she says as she sees that there is no other choice. There is nothing else we could do.

"Okay, I'll catch up to you... wait for me in the car.".

Andrea nods as she exits the house.

I quickly grab my glass of wine and drink the last swallow I have had left in the glass. After that, I stood up, got on my jacket, went out and locked the door.

I begin my way down towards Darko's car, and once I reached it, I entered it, sitting beside Andrea.

"Are we ready?".

"Just drive, please..." Andrea says, wiping tears off her cheeks.

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We arrive at Terminal 1 where James is meant to enter to check-in for his flight.

Darko manages to find a parking spot when he turns off the engine, that is when we open the door and get out of the car.

Darko opens the trunk and James gets his two luggage bags and his bag pack before we make our way towards terminal 1.

Upon entering Terminal 1, I am greeted by the familiar airport smell, I'd feel euphoria suffocate my body, but this time, I feel like sadness has drowned me. It still feels so surreal that James is leaving for Los Angeles.

We head towards the monitors and we see what check-in area he has to go to, so we follow him.

We aid him with the luggage and when he gets his tickets, we begin our journey towards the escalators, where it will be my last time that I will ever smell his perfect scent, kiss him, hug his firm body. We reach the escalators.

My heart aches more and more as we head further up the escalator.

Sadly, we reach the area where the security will check his passport and he will be off to his gate.

I see James turn to me as he walks over to me.

I walk over to him before I run into his hands, I breakdown into tears as I hug him tightly. I can feel the hole in my chest grow bigger.

"I love you so much..." I cry out into his ear, suddenly I can hear his sniffle too.

"Baby, don't cry..." he says quietly as he hugs me tighter. "I am going to miss you so much..." he whispers into my ear as my sobs can no longer be controlled.

"I am going to miss you so fucking much, James..." I cry out into his ear as we sway from side to side.

When we part from each other, he places his hands on my cheeks, first rubbing the tears off my cheeks before planting his lips onto mine.

Our lips part after a minute of kissing. He turns to Darko and Andrea, telling them goodbye. I see that Andrea is in tears again as she hugs James.

Then James comes back to me before giving me a final hug.

"I will never give up on you..." He whispers into my ear. "I will call you when I arrive in Euromania and before leaving for Los Angeles," he adds as now even more tears are rolling down his face.

He turns around, away from all of us, heading away from us towards the security counter.

"James!" I call out.

He quickly turns around.

"Don't you ever forget me..." I tell him, forcing a smile, but instead, I bit my lips to stop the tears, but when I see more tears flow down his face, it breaks me too.

"Never..." he replies before showing me a heart. I give him a heart back before he when off.

The farther he walks away from us, the more pain my heart feels.

He passes the security and turns around the very last time to give us a wave, we all wave back at him.

He looks at us for a few more seconds before walking off. He is gone...

I lower my head as tears begin spilling out of my eyes.

"Honey, no..." Andrea says gently as she hugs me, I cry onto her shoulder as she cried onto mine.

I feel another touch on my shoulder, Darko.

"Let's go, guys," Darko says slowly guiding us towards the escalator.

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I get dropped off home, enter my house, slam the door close and slide down the door and onto the floor as I begin sobbing.

I sob out all the pain from my heart, all the ache from my body.

I miss you so fucking much already James...

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*James POV*

I am getting ready to board the plane, my heart aching and wrenching. I already miss you, Ana.

Many minutes pass before I enter the plane, I take my seat and I pick up my bag as I ravage for some snacks by suddenly I come across a folded page.

I pick up and unfold the page...

To My Dearest James O'Neill,

Your beloved Ana here, in the case, if you are wondering why I wrote you a letter, it is because I know I would not be able to tell you this in person.

You know how much I love you, how much I adore you, how much I feel for you, what I feel for you and I know what you feel from me. Believe me, I do. You showed me your love in more the one way and more than once.

I just want to tell you that I am sorry, I am sorry that this has to be like this, I am so sorry, but one thing that I am not sorry about is us, what we had, what we have, because what we have now is the best thing I have ever felt, I have ever experienced. You showed me how real love feels like and what it takes for a love like ours to survive.

I just want to tell you that I will never give up on you either, I will always love you and you will always be in my heart.

I am willing to do this if you are, and by what I have seen, you are more than willing.

And until the next time we see each other, I am going to miss you so fucking much.

But I know we will see each other soon, sooner than we think.

Your greatest and biggest love,

Ana.

By the end of the letter, I am in tears as I hug the letter.

"I love you so fucking much, Ana too," I mutter under my breath as the plane begins pushing back.

I turn around facing the window, the seat beside me is empty.

I place my hand on the armrest as the flashback come back, her touch on my hand, the way her intoxicating perfume made me feel.

I look at the seat when suddenly something caught my eye. A scrape, it looks...

I look around me and then it hit me.

I am sitting in the same seat that I was sitting when I was flying with Ana. Fuck, my heart...

*CAPT* - Ladies and Gentlemen, prepare for departure.

I look out the window and I can see that we got to the runway quickly, we are next in line for take off.

Minutes pass before the plane lines up.

Suddenly, its engines spool up as the plane begins moving when the engines begin roaring, that is when I could feel the plane speeding up really quickly.

Within seconds, the plane becomes airborne.

I look out the window as I see the snowy city of Belgrade below us.

I take a deep breath as a wave of sadness hits me.

"Goodbye Ana... For now" I mutter under my breath.

Because I know we will see each other soon, sooner than we think.

*Love In Belgrade finished*