Wonted Hostelry

Wonted Hostelry

Fantasy7 Chapters17.7K Views
Author: Achilles_Heel
(not enough ratings)
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She thought it was a nightmare but when she touches the water it felt wet and the sun rays are warm.



Reality is...



But even if she doesn't have home, at least what's in front of her will be one.



She promised herself....she will be strong...



Ding! Ding! Ding!



Level Zero!

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anon88
anon88

This is a review of the first two chapters. The female main character transmigrates for no apparent reason to a game based world where she must start her life anew. She doesn’t have a system attached to her. Overall, I found the story confusing due to two general reasons. First, the are problems with the construction. There are subject verb agreement issues. The story also seems to jump from topic to topic without clear transitions. Second, the second chapter doesn’t seem to fit with the first. I almost thought that I had changed books. Both the grammar and plot cohesion were of a higher level than the first chapter. I would enjoy this story more if the first chapter is re-edited.

6 years ago
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