Heartbreak

Apprehension and anticipation began increasing in my chest by every passing second. Yoongi's deep silence increased that more, making me wanting to run away from this awkward moment.

"I don't why I did it. I apologise I have no explanation to it. I will any punishment you give for doing that. The kiss meant nothing to me."

His last sentence stabbed my heart more painfully than a knife. Even though I shouldn't have hoped for anything, I did, and now my heart is in tremendous pain. Tears brimmed on the corner of my eyes and fell down.

Yoongi looked shocked at that, and before Yoongi or I could say something, a knock on the door was heard. Deep inside, I was thankful to that person for ruining this moment.

I turned my back to Yoongi and opened the door. On the opposite side to the door stood two familiar males- Taehyung and Jin. They both, too, were surprised by my tears.

But before they could utter anything, I pushed them and ran outside of the door, ignoring all the calls for me to stop. I could just care less for that in this moment.

I ran as much I can, trying to escape from all these pains although I know that it is impossible, and sooner or later, I'll have to meet him and confront him.

I hate it. I hate it that I love him. I hate these feelings I have for him. I hate that my heart beats for him. I hate that I am the only one feeling this way, whereas he is calm.

That kiss- my first- meant so much to me, but to him it meant nothing. How easily he said it is nothing? How easily he showed his regret for kissing me? How easily he rejects me? All of this is just too much.

I regret my decision of running away from my home just to meet them, meet him. I regret for letting myself falling so simply for him. I regret for anticipating something. I regret everything.

But I can't. I can't regret anything. A part- the larger part- is glad that I met him, got close to him, and was able to feel those lips against me. That's what breaks me the most.

I fell down against a wall and started crying my eyes out, unable to bear all these pain. The pitiful glances people were giving didn't matter at that moment.

All the pains, rejection, insults he gave me before is attacking me all together mercilessly. There was nothing sweet he did for me, but he still managed to take a hold of my heart like no one else did.

Just then, something flashed before my eyes.

↪❤↩

A younger version of me stood in front of Yoongi, who had his back against the wall. His facial expression was much more softer than how it is now, and a confused look was plastered on his face.

"What's the matter, Hanee?" he asked with worry evident in his tone.

Hanee, or I, leaned closer to Yoongi and wrapped her hands around his torso. He seemed perplexed at that but nevertheless, hugged her back.

"Please, don't get too close to Soo," Hanee whispered to his chest.

That made Yoongi release her from the hug and hold her by her shoulders. He looked at her with more puzzlement than before and waited for to continue.

"I don't like that. It pains my heart. I love you, Yoongi oppa."

"What do you mean?" Yoongi asked, not quite getting anything.

Hanee looked back, as if she was hoping for someone, and as of on cue, she leaned more closer and closed the space between their lips and kissed him, making it look to the outsiders that he was the one kissing her.

↪❤↩

My heart clutched tighter at that scene. Even though I kept constantly reminding myself that it was nothing, just some trick if the mind, it was too real to simply believe that.

I stood up from place, and my mind was filled with that scene. I wiped away the tear remains from my eyes and attempted to fix myself, although I don't think it will be that easy to repair my heart that no one, other than me, can feel.

In addition to that, the scene I saw pained me more. Even though my mind seemed not to recall it, I could say that my heart recognized it perfectly. That's why, it squeezed even harder.

But then, a voice took all of my attention away from that.

"It's time."

And with that, I lost my consciousness.

At the moment, that felt my first heartbreak, but it wasn't. My heart faced something major before, but I couldn't just recall it. If I could've just recalled it, maybe then my heart wouldn't be this much troubled.

But that day, it repeated again, same as what happened years ago. The same thing, just with a bit change. This this I was aware but wasn't careful enough.