Fen and Tan spent the rest of the afternoon in the other room, leaving Lian and Quan alone until Li Jie returned as the sun was setting.
"I have fifteen people who volunteered and who I think can make it. Weapons are going to be a problem. There are only two real spears between the two villages. And only five or six archers with decent bows."
"Then scythes, pitchforks, shears, anything that can cut. Preferably with a long handle on it to keep them from cutting themselves."
"That's what I told them."
"Then you did well. Let's eat."
Lian had been waiting to eat until Li Jie's return, so she eagerly pulled out more of the food and seasonings she and Quan had brought along, and set about making a second meal. The three of them ate and exchanged a few words, but mostly found themselves thinking of what was coming the next day. After he was done eating Li Jie bid them goodnight and brought the rest of the food across the curtain to his niece and nephew.
Lian and Quan extended their sleeping rolls and felt the air cool as the sun went down. Whispers floated in from the other room so they whispered themselves, their heads close together as they stared at the unfamiliar ceiling.
"Will Puotong help?" Quan asked.
"No. Not willingly."
"But you're going to ask anyway?"
"Yeah."
"…Ok."
"You ok?" Lian asked. "It was a bit of a day."
"I'm fine," Quan responded. "I just…"
"The Keeper is getting to you."
"Yeah."
Lian sighed. "When I was twenty, about two months before the Emperor set the Shuli Go aside, one of us went off. Left his Go behind and started murdering people. No reason, nothing. Just started murdering people all across the Kingdom.
"Well, the only way to catch a Shuli Go is through other Shuli Go. And there was a protocol for exactly those kinds of situations. A band of ten Shuli Go are set up and they hunt the Shuli Go down and kill him. So one day I'm sitting at home and nine other Shuli Go show up on my doorstep and suddenly I'm part of this hit squad.
"And we did. We found him and we killed him. Turns out he was killing people he knew were guilty of all sorts of things – rape, theft, murder – but for some reason or another he hadn't been able to convict them. Some of them were powerful people, others were just everyday criminals who'd gotten lucky and escaped. He was still trying to do what he thought was best, right up to the end.
"I'll never forget what he said to us. He said 'The law can't do justice anymore.' And that meant something to us back then, because a Shuli Go serves the law first. Even though some laws may not be just all the time, if there's a law we follow it because we were all taught that the law makes all justice possible. Without the law, there's no justice. And he was saying the opposite. And that really shook me.
"He also had this crazy idea about the Shuli Go setting up our own kingdom. Just saying goodbye to the Empire and kidnapping a bunch of kids and building our own country somewhere. He said the Empire had outlived us. And then two months later it had. And I'll tell you, there's not a day that's passed that I don't wonder if he was right and the ten of us were wrong."
Lian paused for another sigh. "The point is it's impossible to judge someone when the only way you're getting to know them is with a blade to their throat."
"You're saying this Keeper might be right to go around robbing people?"
"No. No he's definitely wrong. But so was their dad…" Lian's voice drifted towards Xue Kang and his children. "What I'm saying is that we all make decisions without all the facts. Maybe if we got that order to kill that Shuli Go two months later, we would have met him and the eleven of us could have started that country of his. Maybe with all the facts, we all make different decisions."
"There's no new fact that's going to make me not want to kick this guy right in the face."
"That's what I thought four years ago. But here we are, trying to save the life of the man whose face I successfully kicked right in."
"But—"
"No, Quan, you're missing my point. I'm not saying this Keeper bandit is redeemable. I'm saying there's no way you're going to know one way or another until it's too late. That's just reality. It's not a good thing or a bad thing. Not really. It's just the way it is. Maybe killing him is the right thing to do. Maybe leaving the village tonight would be the better thing. We will never know. And every time you do something, especially kill someone, you have to be ready for not knowing. That's my point."
Quan lay still, the anger in his chest and his fists draining slowly, seeping into his head, until it was thick with thoughts and second thoughts, his own point of view drowned under his mother's experiences.
He lay awake considering it over and over again until his mother started snoring softly next to him, which seemed to dissipate most of her words from his mind. So he lay awake a bit longer, his ears – not quite as discerning as his mother's, but far better than most – tuning out the other faint sounds in the house until there was only a rough scratching coming from the other room.
He thought perhaps it was Kang, but there was a baritone rumble that Li Jie didn't seem capable of, and the sound was too irregular for it to be someone asleep. It was someone awake, like him, on the other side of the curtain. He couldn't be certain who it was, but the idea that it was Fen kept him up another hour.
They left early the next morning, Quan tired but too excited to notice. He mounted his horse as the sun came up, but when his mother, Li Jie, and Fen joined him outside Lian took one look and shook her head.
"Nope," she said. "Li Jie gets the horse. You're young, you can walk."
Quan was embarrassed but didn't want to make it worse by arguing. He dismounted and handed the reigns to Li Jie with a smile. Fen was busy packing the third horse with a few extra provisions and Quan approached to help her, his throat suddenly dry and the embarrassment creeping into his voice as he offered, "do you want—"
"No," she cut him off and continued loading the horse. Quan's embarrassment multiplied by the theoretical factor of infinity his teachers back in Zhosian had repeatedly told him must exist, and he just nodded, backing away slowly, his eyes stuck on the ground in front of him.
Fen continued packing until Tan came out of their house, rubbing his eyes and pouting his lips. His hair was messy and he looked like the kid he was: sweet but confused, not ready for what was happening to him and his family, but determined to be brave in the face of it. He stamped his foot into the ground and declared, "I'm coming too!"
Fen approached the younger boy with a smile, running her hand over his hair, smoothing it out and whispering to him. In the stillness of the morning Quan could make out their conversation.
"You have to take care of father," she whispered. "We'll be gone for a few days. You have to feed him and wash him and talk to him, ok?"
"But I'm the man, I should be out there fighting the bad guys."
"Not yet Tan. There will be plenty of time for you to fight bad guys once you own all the land, right?"
"But I don't want you to go," he whimpered.
"It'll be ok. I'll make sure magistrate Wen sends someone by every night to make sure you're ok. You can ask any of the villagers for help. You know that."
Tan nodded, holding back tears. "Hurry back, ok? And don't let the woman who hurt dad do anything bad ok?"
"I won't. Don't worry."
She squeezed her brother in a tight embrace and Fen kissed him on top of his head, then shooed him back inside.
"Quan," Lian ordered her son, snapping his attention back, "you come with me to the magistrate. Li Jie is going to gather up the villagers and bring them to meet us."
Quan nodded and walked round to his mother's side, striding alongside her horse as they set off across the village. As they pulled away from the Xue family, he looked over his shoulder to find Fen doing the same. Their eyes locked for a moment and then they both looked away.
Quan smiled.