Rest

The soft, subdued crackling of the fire slowly penetrated Suzhen's consciousness. Without opening her eyes, she lay motionless for a while, feeling herself gradually growing awake, like a swimmer rising to the surface of the water in a deep lake.

Her fingers twitched, feeling the sensation of the covers over her, the rough linen of the bedclothes. Was this what a silkworm pupa felt like, inside its little cocoon of fibers? Warm and snug, blind to the outside world, imprisoned by comfort.

There was a faint trace of bitter herbs in the air that made her think immediately, if hazily, of Xuxian.

At last her eyelashes flickered open, revealing unfocused eyes that were still wrapped in dreaminess. A great weariness seemed to weigh her down, as if her physical body was too heavy for her to command. Slowly she turned her head on the pillow block and saw a copper wash basin beside the bed on a low table, a cloth hanging over the rim. She studied the scratched sides of the basin, the triangular dent in its rim, and tried to make out her reflection in its cloudy surface. For a while time seemed to have stopped, and she had all eternity to lie there, peacefully, with only the fire's crackling and the friendly shadows.

Her eyes eventually focused on a still form seated at the table, head pillowed on an arm, a heap of clothing before it. Xuxian?

She frowned slightly. Yes, it was him. Sleeping soundly. There was a threaded needle lying besides his open palm, and his other hand still grasped a handful of the material on the table. She gradually recognized her robe, and realized there was a large tear in the hem. He had carefully stitched it up, pricking his finger along the way as a small blood spot proved, but the stitches were small, neat, and regular. Granny Hong would have approved.

His face was hidden from view, sunk onto the curve of his arm. She wondered how long he had been sleeping like this, and felt a pang of remorse. With an effort, she drew her arm out from under the warm cosiness of the covers, and tried to prop herself up.

A spasm of pain startled her and she fell back onto the pillow with a faint wince. She had forgotten. The twelve bandits. The fight with Fahai. The monk lying gasping in the snow.

Suzhen closed her eyes. She reached up and felt the coarseness of bandage linen across her shoulder. There was a cut there, a flesh wound from her fight with the bandits. She had hardly noticed it; the pain was nothing compared to the internal injury from Fahai. But the bulky bandage made it hard to move. A herby smell came away on her fingers and she knew Xuxian had bound it up with something. So she hadn't managed to hide that from him. Or her internal injury, for that matter.

"You're awake."

Xuxian had risen from the table, starting awake suddenly though she had not made any noise.

"Thank the gods. Susu, my darling." His voice was thick with relief.

Dropping the material, he hurried over to the bedside. "Susu, you scared me. You collapsed just like that without explaining anything. Spitting out blood? And that sword wound on your shoulder? I was besides myself, I didn't know what to think. How are you feeling now?"

He bent over her to brush a strand of hair back from her cheek. Suzhen gazed contentedly up at him and noticed the stubble on his jaw. His eyes were happy, but she saw the strain in them before it faded away.

"I made you worry. I'm sorry."

"You woke up. That's the only thing that matters." he murmured, taking her hand.

"How long was I like this?" she asked more slowly.

"Three days." He looked soberly at her. Thoughtfully, he stroked her hand with the back of his thumb. "I was wondering what I should do if you still didn't wake up."

Rousing himself, he hurried to the fireplace. "Lie still and rest now. You can tell me what happened when you're stronger. Do you think you can drink something? I kept some ginseng soup simmering over the fire for you."

It was so easy to lie there, to lie still and close her eyes and only focus on the soft, comforting sounds of Xuxian moving around in the house, the faint clink of utensils as he ladled a bowl of soup. For the first time in a long while, she felt as if she could rest at last.

She smiled as he slipped his arm around her and helped her to sit up. "So this is what it's like to be nursed by Physician Xu."

Xuxian threw her an exasperated glance. "Did you get this badly hurt just because you were curious about that? Now, stop talking. If you can drink all of this it would be good. I couldn't get much down your throat the past three days. You must be famished."

She had not felt hungry at all--three days was nothing for someone at her level of cultivation. At first, the pungent smell of the soup nauseated her and she wanted to push it away, feeling as if it was too much trouble to eat. Xuxian determinedly coaxed and threatened, and finally resorted to guilt-tripping.

"Do you know how long I took to simmer this?" he scolded. "I bruised my knees fanning this for hours. And this is top quality ginseng that I had to travel all the way to town for, the last of my stock. The danggui is some of the best I've found too, and you know how hard it is to get it now that it's winter. Are you going to let it all go to waste?"

Suzhen looked dryly at him. "Are you sure it's just ginseng soup, not the elixir of life?"

He sighed. "Susu. You're going to need a lot of these tonics and herbs to get back your strength. Ginseng will help you restore your qi. And danggui will replenish your blood and is good for your circulation. I'll keep reciting the benefits of ginseng from the Shennong Bencao Manual until you do."

"Go ahead, I can recite together with you," she retorted, but she gave in and reluctantly sipped at the spoonful he held out for her.

She swallowed, and felt her appetite return in a rush. She had gotten use to eating everyday since she had started living in her human form, and the taste of food suddenly reminded her of what she had missed these three days when she was unconscious. Taking the bowl from Xuxian she finished the last of the soup and drew a deep breath.

"Your bruised knees are not for nothing," she said benevolently. "The soup is nice after all."

Baffled, Xuxian got up, taking the empty bowl. "It's good if you like it. I'll--I'll go make some more."