Bring Him Back

It was deathly silent in the small hut.

Suzhen's mind had went blank. She stared in disbelief at Xuxian's still face.

No.

She had always been afraid of losing him, but not like this.

This was too cruel, too bafflingly simple; there was no enemy, nothing she could do.

A sudden thrill ran through her body, a tingling sensation of strength returning to her. Suzhen uttered a gasp and felt herself shrinking into her human form with a suddenness that made her giddy. It felt as if she was a fan being shut in the flick of a wrist, in one violent motion, her body collapsing on itself.

Falling to her knees, she lay panting on the ground, her head spinning. A cut on her leg stung from the broken tea pot, and she looked around dazedly until her eyes fell on Xuxian's motionless body.

"Xuxian," she choked, crawling over hurriedly on her hands and knees. Her voice finally returned to her, thin and breathless from the rapid transformation. She got his head onto her lap, feeling the sobs rushing up in her throat together with the words as she tried vainly to feel for a pulse, calling his name.

Her head sank down over his chest as she sobbed helplessly.

"You're too young to die like this," she cried. "I never meant for this to happen, I never meant to tell you like this. I'm sorry, Xuxian, I'm sorry--please, please wake up. I didn't mean to shock you."

Abruptly her head came up, and the tears glistened on her cheeks as she gazed wild-eyed at him once more, new hope invigorating her.

A thought had electrified her. Perhaps she could still save him.

His heart had stopped beating, maybe, but it had only been moments since.

She had a lot of cultivation, didn't she? She could heal injuries and wounds. Perhaps she could even bring him back.

Suzhen caught his face tightly in her hands, examining him anxiously. Xuxian's skin was an ashy gray--but his flesh was still warm.

Exhaling slowly, she forced herself to calm down so her sobs would not choke her. This would not work unless she was fully in control of her powers, able to channel her spirit energy steadily without faltering.

It would take a huge amount of her cultivation. She knew that much. To bring back a man who had died might set her back by a few thousand years even. What would happen to her if she were to strip herself of so much cultivation in one shot, she did not know--she had never done this before. There was a risk in withdrawing so much energy at one shot. She could seriously damage her own body in the process if she was not careful.

Suzhen got hold of him under the armpits and dragged him towards the bed. She hoisted him onto it and managed to get him into a sitting position, propping his body upright until he could sit on his own, head drooping forward. His limbs had not yet started to stiffen.

Her fingers were cold but deft as she worked rapidly, undoing his tunic and stripping him to the waist.

Then she went swiftly to the door and shut it. The latch had been broken when Xuxian barged in, but she twisted her palm sharply, generating a small cloud of energy enough to seal it. How long this would take she had no idea, and it was crucial that nothing disturbed her during the process. The last thing she needed was someone appearing at the door.

She locked all the windows and came back quickly to the bedside where Xuxian sat motionless, head sunk down on his chest. Seating herself cross-legged behind him, she closed her eyes and inhaled slowly, concentrating on the energy coursing up her meridians.

Suzhen felt everything fade away, as the energy brimming at her fingertips came into the forefront of her consciousness. She knew that too much at a go might kill him, just as it might kill her. She would have to slowly release it at a rate his body could receive, and at a rate hers could endure. How to find that balance, she could only pray.

Her hands rose slowly, the air vibrating against her fingertips. She felt her very skin buzzing faintly, there was so much energy bubbling at the surface. Like a statue, she remained motionless, harnessing the energy so she could control exactly how much to release.

And then she decided that she was ready. It was time. If not now, when?

Churning the air, her hands planted themselves firmly against his back, detecting the right acupoints. She felt her breath shake in her throat as the energy seething in her fingers entered his body, and she fought to keep it steady. It was like breaking in a wild horse, fighting the bit and bridle, trying to throw you off.

The sweat started to gather on her forehead but she could not allow herself to be distracted by it trickling down her face, even when it dripped down her eyelids and chin. She could feel the perspiration under her palms as well, but the heat generated by the energy flow quickly evaporated it.

She was swimming in stormy waters, the waves beating against her body, threatening to overwhelm her at any moment if she once faltered. She could control them, but if she once lost that control they would pull her down to the depths.

For an eternity she sat there, back rigidly straight, eyes shut. Holding her arms straight before her for so long, they eventually started to ache, faintly at first, then fiercely, and then--as she ignored the pain steadfastly--dulled away into a nagging consciousness.

At last, a throb against her palm pierced through the depths she had sunk into. Suzhen's eyes flickered open, beaded with sweat that hung from her lashes like pearls. Tense, she gazed at Xuxian's back, and felt the throb again through her palms.

A heart beat. At last.

Her arms fell limply into her lap and her shoulders sagged, light-headed with relief. Weakness washed over her the moment she let go, once she cut off the energy stream. It was all she could do not to fall over.

A ghost of a smile hovered over her lips.

She had done it, after all. She had brought him back.