Sincerity

There was pain in his eyes. "I loved her. I truly did. But what she did--she was hiding so much from me all along, and she would have continued to hide it if I had never found out. What kind of love would that have been, steeped in lies and false appearances? How could we continue as if nothing had happened?"

He looked at the ground. "If someone you loved and trusted had lied so extensively to you, would you not be angry? Would you not question their sincerity?"

Qingqing looked coldly at him. "I have never loved. Or trusted. So you are asking the wrong person. But I think that all she did for you should be enough to show her sincerity. If you still can't accept that, well, let's just say you're blind."

When he said nothing, she continued cruelly, goading him like a predator taunting a cornered animal, "Or let's just say you never really cared for her. You were just flattered that such a beautiful woman would be willing to marry you. Now you're angry that she's not what you assumed she was."

"I knew there was some mystery about her past," Xuxian said dully. "I knew she did not want to tell me. I was willing to have her in my life without knowing everything about her. But I never dreamt it would be something like this. If I had known that she would kill people and eat their hearts, how could I in good conscience as a physician say nothing about it?"

She looked at him with contempt. "So you really believe Sister Bai ate their hearts. Why would someone of her level of cultivation--or used to be, that is--bother to eat human hearts? If anything, I'm far more likely to be guilty of that than her."

"Suzhen was the one who killed them," Xuxian said in anguish. "She told me so herself. She denied having eaten their hearts, but who else would have done it?"

"Anyone else could have, but not her." Qingqing snapped. "You're a fool, Xuxian. You sent her away without bothering to believe her or even give her the benefit of the doubt. Couldn't someone else have done it, even if she was the one who killed them? What if I had, for instance? Would it be her fault?" She stopped for breath, and gave up with an exasperated sound. "If you're so willing to believe that busybody monk, you should just marry him instead!"

She looked up swiftly as her keen ear detected footsteps far off. "I hope you never see her again, because you don't deserve her." she said angrily, and whirled round. There was a faint puff of smoke and a small green snake slithered across the floor with lightning fast speed, disappearing into a crack in the wall.

Dazed, Xuxian stared stupidly at the crack, trying to grasp what he had just seen. There was a light tap on the door, and whispering outside. He heard Madame Liang hiss fiercely, "Get back and stop pressing against me or I'll step on your toes, you clumsy ox."

She cleared her throat and called politely, "Physician Xu? I hope we're not disturbing you. We--we brought over some green bean soup for you, that's all. Can we come in?"

With a sigh, he got up and opened the door, wondering sadly to himself how they would react if they knew a snake spirit had just left the house. Madame Liang and Liang Guo were balancing on the narrow doorstep. Both were smiling awkwardly but determinedly at him, and Madame Liang held a chipped bowl of green bean soup in her hands. A golden chunk of sweet potato emerged from the surface like an iceberg. It was still warm, and there was even a spoon in it already.

He had to smile. "Thank you."

She held onto the bowl stubbornly, unwilling to let him take it so easily. "We--we heard about Suzhen," Madame Liang said firmly, "and we thought perhaps we could give you some advice. Having had our own fair share of fights, haven't we?" She nudged Liang Guo in his ribs and he chuckled obligingly. "We have, eh, the gods know we have."

Madame Liang's voice was encouraging. "Maybe we can help you talk it out with Suzhen, you know, hear both sides of the story. Would you tell us about it, and let us see how we can help?"

Xuxian's smile was strained. "I appreciate your good intentions. But I just need some time to myself right now. I have a lot of things to think through."

"Don't be shy," exhorted Liang Guo helpfully. "We've all been there, brother. Us men can have a talk, man to man, if you want."

His wife elbowed herself forward. "Or maybe it would be more helpful to have a woman's perspective, so you can understand Suzhen's point of view. Eh, Xuxian? What do you say?"

Looking at their inquiring faces, his heart sank. If only they knew there was so much more at stake than they thought. How would they respond, if they knew that Suzhen was the demon they had all been so afraid of?

"I thank you," he said hesitantly. "But I need to settle this myself."

He started to close the door firmly as Madame Liang and Liang Guo both chorused hastily, "Ah, Physician Xu, come now!"

"At least take the green bean soup!" Madame Liang insisted, trying to thrust the bowl through the gap quickly before door shut.

She sighed and turned to her husband. "Well, so much for that. Who would have thought that Physician Xu would send her away? He was always such a mild man. And he won't even listen to anyone."

Liang Guo folded his arms across his chest, looking troubled. "Madame Xu has never been the kind to act unreasonably. I hope Physician Xu hasn't done wrong by her in acting so hastily. And she left so suddenly, where would she go?"

Madame Liang nodded slowly. "You're right. She can't have many places to go. We should keep an eye out for her. If we could bring her back, perhaps something could be worked out between the two of them. I trust it can't have been anything serious. Suzhen was a good person. We might have laughed at her for being odd at first, but she's become one of us now. Especially that episode with the bandits. We might have died if she didn't fight for us. How could we let her go just like that?"

They moved away, talking intently to each other. Xuxian's heart was heavy, listening unseen from the other side as he leaned against the door.

What should he do? If possible, his mind was in more turmoil than before.