To Fools Like Us

Yao Manting uttered a peal of laughter, a hearty laugh that was nothing like the soft, genteel one she usually used. Flinging her head back, she had her laugh out to her satisfaction, while the maids averted their eyes, stifling their giggles. If possible, Yuanzheng felt even more embarrassed; he squeezed his cup in his hand helplessly and fixed his eyes on the tablecloth.

At last, Manting drew a deep breath. "My dear Master Yuan," she said pleasantly. "I'm afraid my humble token of gratitude wasn't intended to include my body. I may be a courtesan, but my rates are not for the fainthearted. Though our reputation may say otherwise, we don't simply offer ourselves so easily. Come, don't be so nervous. Just eat and enjoy the food, that is all you need to do. I promise I will not seduce you."

Glancing at him with laughing eyes, she filled her own cup and took up her chopsticks.

Yuanzheng drew an unsteady breath. "Forgive me," he stammered, wretchedly. "I am ignorant and jumped to foolish conclusions. May Miss Yao be magnanimous, and overlook it. The gods know I did not mean to belittle you."

Manting filled his cup. "I appreciate that, Master Yuan. And I believe your sincerity. No matter--I've had worse thrown at me; this is nothing. Now that we both understand each other, will you eat something?"

He smiled, shakily. "Miss Yao is gracious. I thank you."

For a while there was silence as they ate, except for the soft clink of chopsticks and the tremulous notes of the guzheng.

"So, you love another." Yao Manting remarked thoughtfully, almost to herself. "Are you a faithful man, then, Master Yuan?"

Yuanzheng shook his head. "Just a foolish one. We have no engagement, no bond, nothing but my feelings. I don't even know if I'll see her again. If I could, I would stop thinking of her. I don't suppose you know any cure for that, Miss Yao?" he added with a smile.

She raised her eyebrows. "A faithful one indeed. I'm afraid what our House of Falling Petals has to offer would not be a solution for you."

Her eyes had a dreamy expression. "Tell me, what makes her so special in your eyes?"

It was strange, why he should talk about his feelings to this woman with the laughing eyes and sweet, slightly wistful smile, who was still so much a stranger to him. But somehow the way her eyes were fixed in the distance, instead of on him, made Yuanzheng feel as if they were companions, as if she would understand. Perhaps it was also the memories of Qingqing which the place had evoked, making the burden on his heart heavier than usual, so that he was glad to find some relief in talking about them.

"She's clever, quick-thinking, witty. Everything I am not." he said slowly. "She livens up the very air where she is. She is vain, selfish, touchy, and her moods change as quickly as shadows come and go, she fascinates me."

There was a long pause. Manting said nothing, and Yuanzheng had no idea how much time elapsed between his words; wrapped in a dream-like state of wistfulness, he watched the wine glimmer in his cup and felt the words gradually taking shape, rising to his lips like bubbles slowly floating to the surface of the water.

"She has a kind of reckless confidence bordering on rashness which I can't help but admire--while so many of us are living our lives on tiptoe, grubbing for energy to survive each day, she bounds along with a zest for life that no one I ever knew could compare to. Like a child."

Manting sighed. "I admire your devotion. Come, a toast to your love--may you be united with your beloved soon!"

Their cups clinked. "Miss Yao is kind," Yuanzheng said apologetically. "I expected you to laugh at me for being a fool."

She smiled and dropped her eyes. "Who am I to laugh at you? We all have hearts. When did hearts listen to reason?"

Manting closed her eyes, her head swaying gracefully in time to the guzheng. "If love between two hearts can last for ever, why need they stay together night and day?" she quoted absently.

Yuanzheng wondered what she was thinking about; she seemed to have forgotten he was there, lost in her own thoughts. A faint smile lingered on her lips, like a breath of perfume.

Suddenly her head came upright and she fixed her eyes on him intently.

"Why did she leave?" demanded Manting. "Did she love someone else? Or was she forced to go? Or did you quarrel?"

She cupped her chin in her hand and waited expectantly for his reply.

Yuanzheng laughed ruefully, but somehow he felt comforted by a strange sense of companionship. "I'm afraid there isn't much of a story."

Manting waved her hand carelessly at the table. "It would be a shame not to have a good story to go with this. I want to be entertained; my mind is restless tonight."

He glanced at her keenly, and noticed a shade of something in her face that jarred with her blithe voice. The next moment as she turned her head it was gone again, but Yuanzheng was sure he had seen it.

At last, he said carefully, "I think Miss Yao has a more interesting story to tell. If you want to unburden yourself, I can offer ears that hear, and lips which won't repeat it."

She studied him for a while, clearly assessing him, then abruptly put her cup down, lifting her chin as if she had decided to take on a challenge. "Fair enough. Well, I'll tell you a story, Master Yuan. Not mine--oh no!--a friend of mine. A good friend of mine."

Her eyes twinkled, then abruptly she looked away, staring fixedly at the fringed border of the curtains over the musician's head.

"My friend was an accomplished and admired woman, but a courtesan. We courtesans, we have good reason to be cynical of love. We see it bought and sold so easily, after all. But my friend, foolishly--found herself in love with a man. Of all the many men she had seen, his love was the only one she ever wanted. What was more, he had loved her before she became famous, before the world had told her she was desirable. And he was willing to marry her. They agreed that he would get his parents' permission, redeem her from the madame, and marry her."

"Your friend is luckier in love than I am, then," Yuanzheng remarked wryly.

Manting hid a smile behind her sleeve. "Don't be jealous, Master Yuan. I haven't finished my story yet. My friend got a letter from him."

She paused, and drew in a long breath, the corner of her lips drawing thin. "His parents were furious; they had planned an advantageous match for him. They forbade him to see her again."

Yuanzheng looked thoughtfully at her profile. "Your friend must have been very unhappy," he said lowly.

Manting uttered a short little laugh. "She felt like her heart had been ripped out, the little fool! After all, she had been very much in love. Still, she was not blinded to everything. She had already had doubts on how right she was to ruin his chances of a wealthy and powerful marriage that could advance his career, perhaps even get him a position in court. Perhaps, she had already known this would happen all along…"

Rousing herself, she smiled sweetly at Yuanzheng. "You see, Master Yuan, we are all fools after all."

Yuanzheng filled her cup. "A toast to your friend," he said gently. "And to all fools like us."

"To fools like us," Manting said softly.