13

Azure didn't bother to wait for Grey to pick her up, she called a taxi and went home. Fuck defence classes, she could sign up anytime. 

She went into a guest room and locked herself up. She wasn't going to open up, not until she felt like it. She knew was being childish but she didn't care. Thank goodness her grand parents decided to move in with Grey's parents for a week or two.

Grey was fuming when he came home, he couldn't fathom what the hell had come over Azure.

He banged on the door that she locked herself in furiously but she didn't still open. Using his strength, he kicked the door open and found her sitting on the bed with a glare directed towards him.

"Don't look at me that way! What the hell were you thinking going on the streets like that, do you not realize that there's a lot of danger lurking around, do you think that this world is a joke?! People are evil, and are willing to end your life, not everyone thinks you are some angel who was forced to have sex with her father...."

"Like the serial killer you mean? Or her disciples?" She didn't break her glare.

"How the fuck do you know about that?"

"Am I some child in your eyes? This concerns me and I have the right to know that someone is after my life.. "

"It really doesn't matter if you know or don't know, you can't process what's going on in that undeveloped mind of yours Azure! You really want to know? Yes, Azure. You are a child to me and there is no good in telling a child that someone is after them, they'll just cause more trouble. Now that you are aware of the situation what can you do? Are you going to stick to me like a glue, in fear or are you going to make another press conference and beg the serial killer to leave you alone?"

Azure couldn't believe what he was saying, he really thought that low of her and there she was believing that what Roseline said was wrong. Despite the bug in her mind, she wanted to believe that Grey saw her as an equal and not a burden but she was wrong in every way.

"What are you saying?" Her voice was shaky, Roseline was right, Grey, who she believed was her strength was indeed her weakness, she learnt to fight the tears when she thought of her father but not when he yelled at her?

"And there you go crying. Why the fuck are you crying? You cry over every fucking thing and it's becoming irritating."

"I thought she was wrong Nicholas, I wanted to believe that all she told me were lies, that we were good for each other and love could be enough for us. She was right. When Mrs Roseline said that you'd get tired, I thought she was wrong as well, but she was only wrong when she said it would be in five years because we couldn't even survive a year."

"So Roseline is the one who's been feeding you with crap? That's it, you aren't seeing her anymore. I'll find a therapist for you since you're so bad at making choices."

"I won't see any other therapist apart from her Nicholas. You can't force me."

"Then don't, just stay up here and go crazy, see if I care."

"I bet you've been dying to let that out. If I go crazy then you'll just send me to a mental asylum and move on with your perfect life. It doesn't matter to you and it never has, all you want is for me to leave your life with the luggage of troubles I came with but you don't have to worry, I'd do just that. Tell your stupid security to fuck off and you as well, I want nothing more to do with you or anything that concerns you. By noon tomorrow, you won't be seeing me again. You say you love me but all you do is bring me pain, you fail to be a boyfriend, friend or even a comforter lately. Just like all I am to you is a lost girl who needed comforting, all you were to me was a nice man willing to provide comfort. Now just like you, I don't care anymore, I don't care what happens to me, I just know that I don't want to be beside you. You were the one that said to not hide anything from each other, yet you're the one to go ahead and hide such a big thing from me.. "

"It was to protect you Azure...."

"Ruth! It's Ruth to you from now on. You've lost every right to call me any other name. Get out now, I want to sleep."

"You don't know what your saying. Did you drink? You know you can't sleep without me."

"Did your extremely developed brain miss the part where I said I didn't care anymore. Get out!" She stood up and grabbed her hand bag when she saw he wasn't moving. "Since you won't leave this room, I'll be the one leaving the house. Goodbye Nicholas."

Grey grabbed her hand before she could make her move out of the room. "Stop being so childish, where could you possibly go?! Are you really trying to get yourself killed, is this your new tactic of suicide? Are you nuts!"

"Didn't you just say you didn't care! So let me be! Leave me alone Nicholas, I'm in so much pain right now and you are the reason. I know you don't have any true feelings for me but for the sake of humanity let me go! Does it matter to you if I die? Or if I go crazy? It sure as hell doesn't matter to me anymore !" She gave him a shove and made her way out of the room wiping her eyes.

There was no way on earth Grey was going to let her leave the house. He went after her and forcefully carried her in his arms despite her screaming to be dropped and took her to their own bedroom. He dropped her on the bed and locked the door on his way out.

He felt bad for what he was doing but he'd do whatever it took to keep her safe. The banging on the door made him pause his steps. Why did she have to get on his nerves by walking unprotected on the streets.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard her loud cries. "What different are you from my father right now! All of you are the same, wanting to be in charge and forgetting that the female involved is a person and not an object or animal that you just throw around! I hate you so much Nicholas! You're even worse! Don't bother opening this door again because I'll never speak to you. I hate you so much!"

Nicholas didn't realise that a lone tear had dropped his face. He quickly wiped it off and decided to pay Roseline a visit.

***

"Who gave you the right to tell her that someone was after her! That's not even in your place!" Nicholas started as he barged into the room not minding the meeting going on there.

"Excuse me please. Leave me alone with the young man for a while." she said to her assistant who nodded and left the office.

"Mr Nicholas! Ever a pleasure to meet you. How is your mother faring?"

"You know why I'm here. Cut the crap and tell me why on earth you would tell Ruth that. Do you know what... "

"You young people never cease to amaze me. She is twenty five, just because she is mentally unstable, it doesn't mean that her reasoning that equal to a five year old.

The only reason she is still sick till now is because of you! You have made her believe that for her to be alive, she needs you. She doesn't need you! She needs someone who can help her and that's not you."

"She is a child...."

"Did you tell that to her? I sure hope you did. At least if she deludes herself into believing that you're no different from other men, it would be easier to get her away from you and give her the help she needs."

"Whether or not I make her into a child, it's none of your business, you're only a therapist...."

"I am a therapist and I help people. If I deem it fit to say whatever it is to the patient if it'll help, I will."

"I hope you can still do the same when I get your license revoked."

"Do what ever you think you can. The fact that Ruth now knows what you truly think of her, I'm fine."

"I love her Madame Rose! But what you've said to her has made her feelings for me change. Can you fix that?"

"Until she left here, she didn't believe a word I said. You were the one to clarify things to her and that's your fault. I can fix it yes, but you are about to revoke my license aren't you? Get out of my office. I'm quite busy. Waste any more time here and I'll forget that you're Priscilla's son and ask security to throw you out. Now leave!"

Nick desperately needed someone to blame for what was going on between himself and Azure but he knew that it was all his fault. He let his anger get the best of him and said all those stupid things to her. Now he was even more confused, he knew he didn't want to seem like he was treating her like a child but he was also aware that if he let her, she'd actually run away from the house.

He decide to use food to get her to forgive him. Hopefully an extremely delicious and sumptuous meal together would help them stop their fights.

When he came into Azure's room with the food, he expected her to welcome him with open hands and ask for the food but she didn't even move a muscle.

"I know you're awake, let's eat." He sat there for at least five minutes and lost his temper again when he saw she wouldn't even turn to his direction. "And you want me to see you as an adult? This is almost the height of your childishness, you who love food so much is rejecting it, all because you're mad at me. I don't even know why you're angry. I should.."

"Please just leave, I have no more strength to argue with you and you're only giving me a headache by speaking."

"So that's it? You're going to starve?"

"I have a right to be angry Nicholas!" She finally sat up, forcing back the tears that were threatening to fall. "I was lied to for so long, you said you loved me! You said you'd never leave me! Said you'd only make me happy! You didn't even have feelings for me Nicholas! Why did you lie all those times to me? It would've been fine if you just ran into me that night! I wouldn't have to go through so much pain if you just did! And what hurts the most is that even though I should hate you I don't! I shouldn't be loving you while you're the reason for my pain! This hurts more than when I was raped or beaten to a state of unconsciousness. Seeing you makes it even more hard for me so just get out!" She stood up from the bed and ran into the bathroom leaving Nick alone in the room.

Nick was speechless, his eyes watered but once he heard her hard sobs in the bathroom, his tears flowed through like a fountain. She was right, he was the one causing her so much pain.

Her voice from earlier rang through his head. 'I mean, why would you show love by causing pain it makes no sense to me'

For the next three days, every time he went into the room, she was in the same position, the food untouched. He didn't know what he had made of his Azure. She looked paler and extremely weak but she still wouldn't eat anything he brought for her. Sometimes he came close to her door, just to feel close to her in some way but the sobbing he heard drove him away.

He called his sister and Elisa over and explained what happened to them. He begged them to help Azure forgive him or at least, get her to eat.

The girls made sure to give him a handful of how disappointed they were at him before they went inside.

Azure had been happy when she saw the two girls come in but she soon realized why they were there. They had come to ask her to let go of all that happened between herself and Nicholas. Once she realized that, she asked to be alone and that they take back the food they brought with them.

Two more days had gone and she still stayed the same. Only she was thinner and looked like death already. The fact that she was always crying wasn't helping.

For Ruth, she didn't feel like she was starving herself, she just didn't have any appetite and nothing would make her eat the food that Nicholas prepared himself.

Later that day, the door opened again. She felt it was too soon for Nicholas to bring lunch but she couldn't care less.

"What the hell happened to you since the last time I saw you. Sit up, would you! You're like my kid, always making everyone worry about her despite the fact that she is what, thirty."

Azure recognized the voice as Mrs Roseline. She quickly jumped off the bed and ran towards her giving her a large hug with tears streaming down her eyes.

"I was wrong. I was so wrong that day and you were right."

"Of course I was right. I always am." Mrs Roseline pulled out of the hug and made her sit on the bed with her. "Now before we speak, you must eat. How can you say you want to fight when you're hungry? You must be healthy and have the energy to fight if you want to win."

She got out a bowl and handed it over to her, "It's Chinese rice and if it makes you feel any better, I made it myself and I've been told my cooking skills are amazing. I'm not being cocky by the way, just stating facts." Ruth laughed at Mrs Roseline's self loving words.

She weakly took the bowl from Mrs Roseline and started eating. It was only as she took the first spoonful that she realized how hungry she was. She didn't think she had eaten that much but the bowl was already empty and she was still very much so hungry. Mrs Roseline chuckled as she brought out three more bowls from her bag with a bottle of mineral water.

"So why would you starve yourself if you're this hungry."

Ruth smiled and continued eating. They weren't wrong when they said her cooking skills were amazing because that was literally the most delicious Chinese rice she ever tasted.

By the time she was done with the three bowls, she fell flat on the bed with a full stomach. "You have a thirty year old daughter who behaves like a child?" Azure started after a while.

"There isn't anyone who doesn't act like a child. It was childish of you to leave the building on your own, it was childish for Nicholas to lose his temper over something he was at wrong for, it was childish of him to think that mere food would be able to mend a broken heart, it was childish of me to throw a slap at him when he came to my office yesterday to beg me to come over, and I could go on and on again. He wasn't wrong when he said you were childish because every grown up tends to act childish once in a while."

"I am aware that what he said was right and true. My mind is undeveloped and I act like a child. I'm always crying and I make a lot of bad choices. I believed that I loved him and that he loved me too and because we loved each other, we'd be able to look past all my baggage. But the truth hurts a lot. He didn't love me and there is no way we'd be able to survive without love."

"If you think he was right with all that he said, then why are you mad at him? That kid has always been a worrisome child. I remember his mother would always come to me and complain how hard it is to keep his temper under control. You know, his pride has always gone before anyone. Even when he was wrong, he'd always find it very hard to apologize but do you know that he came on his knees crying and begging me to help you. I secretly took a video for fun sake if you'd like to see it later."

They laughed at her side remark.

"He said it didn't matter if you never spoke to him again, he just wanted you to be fine, to eat and be alive."

"Nicholas did?"

"Yes, he did. I gave him a slap of course, he threatened to revoke my license and spoke to me like his worker the last time he came before now."

"Well, it's kind of hard to believe that. He did say that he didn't care one bit."

"He was angry and lost his temper at you. He knows his mistake and he believes that he's done too much to even make amends. It's why he doesn't have the guts to show up in front of you and apologize, just because he said those things to you doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He was scared out of his wits when you left the building alone and it's for that reason that you have to understand his level of love for you."

"And keeping me locked up like a prisoner?"

"If he left the door open, wouldn't you run away? He doesn't mind you being angry at him or hating him, he just wants you alive. He's been working on finding the killer and he told me that once he finds who it is, he'll let you go. He'll leave you the choice to stay with him or not."

"I've been in so much pain Mrs Roseline, so much pain it's hard to let it all go. I've had severe nightmares and panick attacks, I've endured all the pain that being without him brings and tried fighting my demons alone and it made me understand something. It's so comfortable being with him, but this past few days make it obvious that we won't be together forever, it's probably going to be even worse then for me. Maybe it's best if we just stay apart from each other, learn to face life alone."

"There is a reason why people exist together, it's so that one could depend on the other for help. You are the one that helps keep his wits together and he helps keep you happy. That's perfect isn't it. He has agreed to let me be your therapist and I still haven't changed my decision by the way, once all of these are over, you and I are leaving this country, continent even. You will become a deserving woman for him okay. So when he comes in here next, you're going to see his love through all the hurtful words he said to you okay."

"Yes. I hear you Mrs Roseline." Azure hugged her tightly and her stomach just had to embarrass her by grumbling in hunger causing Mrs Roseline to laugh and bring out one more bowl of rice. "You're lucky I brought an extra bowl just in case, I asked Nicholas not to bring you lunch. I'll expect to see you soon Ruth. You've suffered enough and you deserve to be happy as well."

Azure could no longer wallow in the sadness that had engulfed her since that day, she would be happy and she would do whatever it took to be happy.

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