Day 30

"You reached another milestone, but you don't even have time to reflect on it. You're too busy being a dad and taking care of your baby." Kyle smirked as he turned the inside of the card facing out. "Is that handsome stick figure future me?"

"That's supposed to be you, and the yellow bundle you're holding is your baby. Congratulations dad."

Abraham snorted at my attempt at drawing. "That birthday card is weird. I could imagine Kyle never having children, even if he had more years allotted to him. Go on, Kyle. Tell Renata your ultimate dream."

I tilt my head to one side, waiting for Kyle's explanation. "Getting smashed in every country."

"Are you being serious right now?" I asked Kyle while Abraham roared in laughter at my question. "I don't think your liver, even if you were a healthier adult, could handle the strain."

"That's why it's called a dream Renata, because it's near to impossible to achieve it. Now though, it's definitely impossible. Since you know, I have a kid." Kyle re-read the card and frowned. "Worst of all, you didn't even give me a hint of it's a boy or a girl."

"Or both. You could have a baby that's a hermaphrodite," replied Abraham with a smirk. "You know, both male and female parts."

Kyle thought about that for a moment before asking me, "Is my baby a hermaphrodite?"

"How should I know?! We're talking in hypotheticals here, Kyle! The possibilities are supposed to be endless."

"Fine. Then I have a beautiful hermaphrodite baby and my child will live a gender neutral existence and will even have a gender neutral name...Baby Harley."

Abraham snorted and said, "No wonder you chose that name for your child."

"What's special about it?" I asked.

Kyle grinned from ear to ear as he said, "Because my dad hates motorcycles."

"Well, aren't you father of the year," I replied back. "Did Nadia have a say in the decision."

"Who said Nadia was the kid's mother?"

"Oh damn," replied Abraham. "I feel like we're one bitch slap away from a telenovela." Then out of the blue, Abraham grabs both of my shoulders and steered me closer to Kyle. "Go ahead, bitch slap him."

"I will not!"

"You know a bitch slap is something that's sort of on my bucket list since...now." Kyle leaned towards Abraham and I, purposefully exposing his cheek. "I'm ready."

"Since you're being so cool about it, I think I'll save my bitch slap for another day Kyle. Like, when I'm really pissed off at you. Besides, you got seventy more years to live so what's the rush?"