confusing

She let out a low breathy laugh in response, touching the white silk dress that they'd gifted her to wear. They called it a present; she'd called it a boob problem because the lowered back and the thin straps meant that her nipples had to be concealed by flat round stickers that she prayed would stay on all night. Stickers that Sieon had begged to help her stick on only because they seemed cool, and then MinJae and JieMi had poured into the room for a look. They asked if they could stick google eyes to create a face.

Idiots.

She took a quick peek down, thankful that her breast seemed fine, but what wasn't fine was her steadily sweating palms lodged tight within Oliver's significantly longer digits. She'd stared hard at it hoping he would get the memo, but he didn't and he just squeezed harder, tightening the jail cell over her too-warm, too-sweaty hands.

Self-conscious, and he didn't know that. Sieon would know. Sieon would lick her palms just because he wanted to see her cheeks redden and her gasp of horror. Hikaru had horribly sweaty palms too, he would tell her he didn't mind. But it wasn't fair to make these comparisons.

"Thank you," she cleared her throat turning her head away from her thoughts, "but—"

"Have you been on a date with the two of us?" Casper hummed, turning the wheel with hands that rippled with veins, sexy as he clenched tight over the leather. He'd only just learnt to drive recently, or at least that was what he said. The rest of her men had whispered to her behind his back that he'd failed it three times knocking over barriers and he'd only just passed because he wanted to impress her. "Gone to a Michelin star restaurant with the other guys?"

Did he think that all she thought of him was a clumsy big loaf? Clumsiness was one of his excuses when she'd softly hinted and asked for sex in the most subtle of ways. He'd said that he was afraid of hurting her, that he was okay with just kisses and touching. He'd made out with her to show her he meant it, but it felt odd when he pulled away despite the hardness of his cock, tight and hot against her belly—

"No—"

"What you're sensing," he purred, voice dipping into a low sweet range that they both knew was sweet, warm honey milk to her fears, "is all just nerves from that, that's all." He gave her another side-eyed glance and she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, biting on it nervously.

Call it a women's intuition, but there was just something off about her men.

"Perfection is key to a lady's heart," Oliver grinned and she shook her head.

"Sincerity and love would be enough for me."

Just give me anything, anything.

"Sunshine, we just don't want to fuck this up for you," Casper explained.

Oliver nudged her and she turned to look at him and he waved a stick of lip balm in the air, shaking his head with a deep frown as his eyes zeroed in on her chewed lips. She parted them, giving him a sheepish grin.

Oliver was filled with a need to care for her, and he truly cherished her she knew that. They all did. But sometimes it felt as if Oliver and Casper treated her as if she were made of glass, as if she would break the moment they laid their hands on her. And maybe that was all her fault, or maybe she was mistaking disgust as fear.

"That, and it's been a long, long time since we've last had an actual date with a lady." Oliver uncapped the balm, rolling it up smoothly. "The last time I went on an actual date I was 9. And I fucked up by puking all over my date because I was scared."

Maybe they truly hated sex. Maybe they were just the type to not enjoy it.

"That is beyond your control, Liv," she smirked, raising a brow as he applied balm to her abused lips with careful gentle strokes, the ever-concerned gentleman. "You can't fuck it up for me." He pursed his lips and she smacked hers for him until he was satisfied. "Because it's me," she gave them both a look. "I appreciate the concern but trust me, there's not a lot that can happen that will make today a bad day for me. I'd love anything you two give me. I'm not a bad soulmate."

She met Oliver's eyes and she watched, concerned as his pupils dipped and surfaced, a flicker of nervousness, a flicker of guilt. They held her gaze steadily, but his pupils trembled, strangely nervous and shy.

Strange. So…Was she a bad soulmate?

"We might exceed your expectations," Oliver murmured in response, his attempt to push her questioning glances away, and she stared, confused as Casper's eyes grew sharp with steel at his words.

"We'll see," Casper hummed, voice deepening into what she could only describe as a threatening growl towards Oliver, but the glare vanished the moment he caught her looking. Understanding filled her as her head spun over the brief clues that they'd tossed out into the wind, crumbs to a bird seeking food.

Whatever they wanted her to do in the restaurant, they expected her to fail tremendously. She swallowed thickly; lips pursed as her mind spun over what could happen. Was this about etiquette? Were they introducing her to their family without telling her? Was this all just a test? Would something change if she failed? The Asian student in her trembled.

They arrived before she could interrogate them further. Casper parked quickly and they let her out with a careful hand on her back, shielding her as they entered the restaurant. It was a dining room half-filled with customers, situated deep within a grand hotel that had sky-high ceilings and thick sound muffling carpets. It was covered in gold, the ever-minimalistic pops of no colour and boring shades of cream.

But she didn't give a fuck about the classy décor or the way the waiters spoke in posh French accentuated English despite the country they resided in. Nor did she care about the security guards that lingered at the door as she was ushered into a private space where the laughter of the patrons was a dull muffled hum. There was a bag for her purse under the long thick white cloth-covered table, and Casper pushed her chair in carefully before he took his seat at the round table.

A gentleman. There was no denying that they loved her. They did without a doubt.

There was no menu, or at least Casper waved it away with an order for the seasonal tasting menu for three in fluent French. It was a subtle boast of his skills as his tongue curled and dipped in an accent that sent tingles down her spine. Heat coiled and spun between her legs despite her fear-induced racing heart.

She didn't have that much time to dwell on her fears because piping hot sourdough bread was quickly served with a dish of cold, salted butter and a tiny bottle of oil. She smiled when Casper pulled up his sleeves, folding it to a sexy arm length, and then buttered her bread carefully. The bread was better than she'd expected, salty, crispy, spicy and soft at the same time and it made her forget about the possibilities of an etiquette test.

"I'll warn you now, that this meal will take longer than you expect," he murmured taking slow languid bites of his piece, holding it up with a curious sort of grace that wafted from his straightened back. "Three hours would be a minimum."

"Three?" her gasp had Oliver snickering behind his palm.

"Fine dining is about a change in power," Casper explained with a low hum, his eyes were brighter than she'd expect, a hue that was almost the colour of butter spread thin over bread. "A change of power between the chef and the diner. In here we have no choice on the food or its timing, and we can do nothing but be at the mercy of the artists in the kitchen."

"An expensive experience of control," she grinned, trying to shake the worry-free from her brain.

"A stupid waste of time and food is what I'll call it," Oliver grouched out through a mouthful of bread. He swallowed the food at the scathing glare from Casper before he spoke. "But it's good as a conversation starter as we talk about what we eat. Felt great for a date."

Amber couldn't help the words that spilt from her lips. "That is if I'll get bored and start watching K dramas as I wait."

"Insulting." Oliver feigned an expression of shock. "It hasn't even been fifteen minutes and we're already boring you." He gave Casper a sad pout. "What bad soulmates we are." Those words alarmed her, and she felt the need to correct him immediately.

"I'm joking," Amber said, a little too quickly for her liking, "I could look at the two of you for hours and not get bored."

"Is my signage that interesting?" Oliver smirked, lips spreading into a grin, completely oblivious to her inner turmoil. "Or are Casper's colours beautiful enough to keep you entertained?"

His words brought her back down to Earth, a heavy blow to her head. She licked her lips realising that she'd yet to bring up her concerns. That they could be seeing the soul bonds even though she couldn't, which meant that there was something wrong with her and not them.

Perhaps, Oliver could see her signage on a daily basis. Maybe Casper saw colour in her path, read her emotions from the change. Her heart jumped at the thought. Emotions. She allowed her eyes to graze him, sweeping carefully over her soulmates in a concealed arc. Casper didn't seem worried, in fact he seemed at peace. His brow raised, and her heart stuttered in her chest.

"Oh, they're interesting," she mumbled. Liar, liar pants on fire. "Sometimes they tell me to suck your fleshy cock." Oliver blinked, eyes widening at her words and for a moment there was a pause in the air that had her shrivelling down into pure shame and embarrassment. They don't like sex. They don't like sex. They don't like sex. "I'm sorry—"

"Sunshine, fleshy?" Oliver threw back his head and laughed and the sound bounced over the walls, loud cheery and golden. It lifted her mood significantly, calming her nerves easily. And she felt even better when he looked at her with a face of pure cheeky joy, eyes brighter than the sun and lips spread into a big, sunny grin that made her heart pound again for the right reasons. "What the fuck darling. You are just as perverted as Ezra—"

"You really mean everyone in this family is as perverted as Ezra," Casper chuckled and there was a flash of something else in the foxy mono lid eyes when he looked at her then. "But we're in public my love." His voice dipped into a borderline groan that had her senses on fire. "And if I could I would wrap you up, tie you to this chair and spank your arse for being naughty."

The last word came out in a low hush that was too sensual for her Casper, but it made her heart flutter harder than ever before. And her body flushed with heat, ready and waiting for more. It pushed more of the concern out from her body and she relaxed into her chair. They don't like sex?

How confusing.