Chapter 9: Fear the Nurf Bat
Stepping into the control room, Dave saw several walls with displays. Each of the cavernous rooms they had passed through was on display as well as the entrance.
"Can we do anything about the walls," Marieta asked. "And the floors and... well frankly the entire base is just like being trapped inside a funhouse of mirrors. Just less fun."
"You guys have the Imperial tech skill now, can't you see the customization options?" Dave asked in confusion.
Marieta and Aragorn looked at each other and shook their heads. "I kinda know how the tech goes together and I see what I can do generally but its missing an interface."
"You didn't get Telemechanics?" Dave asked. "It's kind of like a holistic knowledge of the technology. Way better than an interface." Again they shook their heads. "Try using Clairvoyance to interface with the base... oh and maybe add telekinesis or telepathy!"
A look of concentration came over their faces. Again they shook their heads. "Okay, I have no idea why you don't have it. Too bad because it's awesome," he crossed his chest as he thought about the issue. "Okay, I made the raid control pane and you can use the telepathic link to see it. Give me a moment and I'll make an interface with the base for you to use."
"A few moments," Aragorn questioned.
"Eh, its dream logic programming that comes with Telemechanics," Dave said with a shrug. "No doubt the AI is doing the heavy lifting but it feels real. Maybe we can get it unlocked for you later."
"Oh, I see it now," Marieta exclaimed. "And you built in a toolkit to modify it? Classy!"
"The last thing I want is all the guild members hounding me for features. It may be a little slower than Telemechanics but it should do the same thing."
"Can we turn this into a tower or a castle," Aragorn interrupted. "I agree the chrome look sucks. The science fiction look is so bad it looks like a D rated 1960's."
"There's an elevation option and you can choose and external facade," Marieta muttered. "I don't see anything like that though."
"Geez, ten seconds and you broke my interface," Dave mocked himself. "Okay, I didn't expect that. But now I am looking for it, you can do that. Let me add more features. From there you can customize. Okay, try it now."
"Oh nice, you can change it into a castle," Aragorn confirmed. "The base shrinks though. It uses up resources. If we get rare earth and... radioactive material? If we get those things we can expand it again and even have cannons."
"Looks like the default defenses are golems..."
"Robots," Aragorn corrected. "Or androids. Imperial tech doesn't do magic. But we can make it look like a golem."
"I wish they would go full fantasy setting or fantasy with tech skill like Engineering in WoW," Marieta replied.
"Whatever," Dave shrugged. "The tech looks stupid but once you get Telemechanics you won't care."
"It sounds really nice," Marieta signed. "Do you think the forums have anything yet? Maybe someone figured out how to unlock it."
"I think we are on the bleeding edge right here," Aragorn opined. "We write the forums and how to guides. Welcome to the beta."
"Okay, how does this look like a first draft," Dave asked as he put the model up on the screens. A medieval castle rotated in the view, complete with stone texturing, stables and a smithy.
"Really? A smithy?" Aragorn asked in derision. "As far as I can tell the game doesn't even have that skill."
"Fine, call them laboratories with a forge to keep you warm in the winter," Dave snorted. "You wanted an old style castle. This is it."
"I love it!" Marieta squealed.
"I got your golems up and planned out too," Dave continued. "As Aragorn mentioned, if you make any changes it burns mass and the fort gets smaller."
"Go for it. Anything is better than endless chrome."
Around them, the walls shimmered and gained a wooden texture. Carpet bubbled up from the ground and covered the simulated stonework now visible. Globes gradually replaced the screens, giving the illusion they were staring into wall-sized crystal balls. A vague sensation of movement filled them as they rose from a deep underground location to a tower within a castle. Outside the door to the control room, the ceiling melted away to show a sunny outdoor view.
"Nice!" Aragorn said as he looked outside. "Add a planning table in here with a globe in the center."
"Hey, did our guild have a name?" Dave asked as he finished the final touches on the table inside and the golems patrolling outside.
"Masters of Disaster!" Aragorn stated.
"No way!" Marieta denied.
"Whack a Gnome."
"Ominous Latin Name."
"Two Orcs One Cup."
"Kittens With Lazer Guns Pew Pew Mew Mew."
"The Fire Heals You."
"Girls Gone WoW."
"My Caps Locks On."
"Jesus' Was Soulstoned."
"Buds Til Disband."
"Guild Name Here."
"I Ebayed."
By this time they were laughing hysterically as each suggestion got more ridiculous.
"The Legion."
"We might get sued for that one," Dave chuckled.
"There is No Spoon," Marieta suggested.
"Oh I like that one," Aragorn started. "But how about 'No Spoon'."
"Or 'Spoon'," Dave offered.
"Sounds like it's from 'The Tick," Aragorn pointed out.
Dave frowned. That was the point. "Then let's go with 'No Spoon'."
"Okay, 'No Spoon'." Marieta agreed as the laughter died down.
"Guild 'Unknown' has changed their name to 'No Spoon'. If you wish you can make your guild's information available online and allow submissions for membership. Presently three out of a hundred members," the pleasant voice of the system chimed in.
Heavy footsteps approached the room from outside. A moment later a stone golem's form was at the door. "Masters. There is a messenger from the King of Merildale at the gate."
"The golems can act like a majordomo," Aragorn asked in surprise as he watched the golem leave.
"That was in the description you apparently didn't read," Dave replied. "I'm more surprised that a messenger arrived minutes after we formed a guild and designed a headquarters. You know what this means?"
"Context triggered quests," Aragorn nodded smiling. "Finally something that is actually better than the old MMOs."
"That's debatable," Dave offered. "The others have them too. They just aren't used much. No, the question is was this generated by the AI or part of the main plot."
"Either way it's better than I've seen so far," Marieta said with disdain. "I talked to almost all the NPCs in town and they may as well have had a stamp behind their ear saying 'No Relevant Information.'"
"Well, let's go see our first guest," Aragorn said as he strutted outside. The three couldn't help gawk a little as they looked at a fairly authentic, if modestly sized, castle around them. They were in a corner tower and had to climb down some winding stairs to reach to the courtyard by the gate. Dave got a little impatient and jumped off halfway down while triggering his Telekinesis.
"You have learned a skill under the Telekinesis talent, Levitate Level 0."
As he floated down, he looked up and called out. "By the way, you guys need to get some movement skills. It took forever for you to get to the boss."
"Yeah, and it turned out I should have stayed by the entrance and attacked from a distance," retorted Marieta. Dave didn't have a response to that.
Aragorn, however, nodded and paused in concentration. He vanished in a flash of light and reappeared ten feet above the ground but in front of the gate. He fell the remaining distance and then lost his balance, ending up on his butt. He still had a smile on his face though.
"Alright, Teleportation," he cheered as he struggled to his feet. "For a tech game, it makes a decent mage."
A minute later they were all in front of the gate and a golem sentry pulled the chain to open the portcullis. The man on a horse that had been silently waiting outside pranced in. "Message from King Minox to the guild 'No Spoon'. We are pleased to announce that the members of 'No Spoon' are the first to step up and become defenders of the realm of Meliferent..."
"What's Meliferent," Dave asked telepathically.
"Apparently it's the kingdom we live in," Aragorn replied hesitantly. "Its news to me too. You know I don't think this game is any worse than the others in getting you familiar with the back story but it's a lot more jarring with full immersion."
"You people are all the same," snorted Marieta. "You don't talk to NPCs, don't look at your quest logs and skip the cut scenes and then complain the game has no depth."
"Did I miss something," Dave said in embarrassment. "Because I didn't see a quest log or cut scenes..."
"That's not the point," exclaimed the girl angrily. Aragorn and Dave looked at each other and subtly shrugged.
"...and King Minox, therefore, invites all members of the 'No Spoon' to meet the King and plan for the kingdom's defense. At that time you will be formally granted the titles of 'Knights'.
"I thought we were already Knights," Dave commented. "My status sheet clearly says Knight Level 2."
"By completing the first goal in the beta you have met all prerequisites for 'In Defense of my Home'. Experience has been awarded," the system's voice purred in his ear.
"Player Nathaniel has reached Level 3," the system chimed in again.
"Oh I just got Level 2," Aragorn reported gleefully.
"Me too," Marieta smiled. "And I got a new questline 'In Defense of my Home." The others nodded in agreement. The departure of the NPC messenger was mostly ignored. "I wish this game had a quest log. Admittedly it only seemed to have a couple of quests at a time but..."
"So there is no quest log," Aragorn asked with a smirk.
"Ah, shut up," the girl waved a hand in his face. "It may just be a pet peeve of mine when players whine and complain about how shallow a game is and completely ignore the lore."
"Anyway, where is the king," asked Aragorn. "And how are we going to get there."
"I have another quest to go to Merildale to see the princess. She stole my horse. I think the capital is there. Probably the king too."
"Stole your horse." Asked Aragorn flatly. "That sounds like an interesting story."
"No," Dave replied sullenly. "It's really not. I think I have the direction of the capital on my map, even if the city is out of my range."
"You don't think they're going to make us walk in real time," Marieta asked with dawning horror. "I did not start to play a game just to walk all day to another city."
"If it's very realistic it could be days of travel," goaded Aragorn. "Dusty roads, sore feet, and hunger. Total immersion. Heck, with the time warping they have it could be hours and just feel like days."
"It will be just like traveling in the early days of Everquest," Dave added, getting into teasing Marieta. "Days of sneaking around high-level mobs, trains from one zone to another. No quests, just endless travel!"
Marieta glared at the two of them defiantly. "Let me use your gryphon. You two can walk."
"Okay, fine," Dave gave in. "You can use the gryphon. I'll just make me another pet." Pointing to a wall he curled his finger. A moment later the wall turned silver and pooled into a ball then dropped down and rolled towards Dave.
He held out his and the ball sent a thread of liquid up to touch his hand and then transferred its mass into his palm. Almost instantly it changed into a tiny dragon. Once its features solidified it hopped and fluttered in a lively manner to Dave's shoulder.
"What the
"It's basically a portable tool pack made of nanites that I've made look like a pet dragon. Since you're going to riding my big reservoir of nanites I'll need a backup. I think this is all I can control at a time," Dave said faintly, trying to sense the limits of his links.
"That Telemechanics is total
"Almost none. Just enough to run the rather comprehensive behavioral directives. It won't pass any Turing tests but it should be like a standard non-combat pet."
"And you set all that up in a few seconds," Aragorn said dryly.
"I know," Dave said amiably. "Telemechanics is total BS. It's the best thing in the game so far."
"They're going to nerf it," Aragorn said confidently.
"Totally," Marieta agreed. "First patch it's gone."
Dave's smile slowly faded. Chances are they were right. It was just way too cool and fun. There's no way the programmers would leave it in as soon as everyone started to complain how overpowered it was.
"But... but its mostly for non-combat crafting," Dave defended his beloved ability. "Its all vanity stuff until the system drops more advanced tech modules or the nano forge can make some."
"Wait, the nano forge can make more of these modules and make combat modules?" Aragorn asked in surprise.
"Yeah, I told you that it's stuck at its present level until you feed it resources but after that, it can start making cannons and
"I remember the cannons part but you can make modules for other people?"
"I put it in the interface, so you can too."
"So eventually we can mass produce mounts with cannons?"
Dave nodded with a frown but didn't say anything more. Obviously, they hadn't looked into the interface he made or they would realize that was just the tip of the iceberg. The system was obviously making the tech tree a big part of the plot and economy.
"Anyway, let's not talk about nerfing things or Marieta may have to walk," Dave said.
"Hey!"
"But seriously, you need to practice your movement skills. I was okay traveling at a crawl with you here but if we need to go somewhere far... like Merildale, you need to speed up."
"I'll have the gryphon," pouted Marieta. Dave gave her the evil eye. Technically he would have the gryphon since it wouldn't work without his presence. "Fine, I'll stay up a couple of hours extra tonight and work on a movement skill. Any suggestions?"
"The game is pretty flexible, Aragorn was able to teleport just by trying. What would fit in your concept?"
"Well, I have tendrils and spikes," Marieta said thoughtfully.
"Your stuff kinda resembles the classical ectoplasm," Aragorn muttered. "Try the angel wings."
"Flying is an advanced skill though," Marieta objected.
"Yeah but you have to start somewhere," Dave said. "My TK movement can't do flying but I plan to turn it into it later when I get more powerful. Until then it gets me huge spikes of speed. Your wings will probably be a lot like that."
"I suppose so..."
"Oh, and you can see if you can use those wings to block like a TK force bubble," Aragorn interjected. "I saw how you almost got taken out in one hit by the boss."
"Hmmph, so did Nat," Marieta replied grumpily. "Fine, give me a few minutes to practice."
Marieta and Aragorn spent the next few minutes practicing their movement skills in an attempt to level their skills enough to be useful for long-range travel. Within a few tries, Marieta was able to form rough wing shapes and was sailing around in short jerky hops.
"Okay, while you guys practice, I'm going to go have lunch. See you soon."
Logging off, he pulled the helmet off and sat up. Standing he slowly stretched out. He still found it amazing that he didn't feel any kinks or pains from being stationary for hours. Even when he woke up in the morning he would have a few aches. This morning when he woke up he felt great.
Humming to himself he walked into the kitchen. His dad was at work and his mom was closed up in her room, working in a VR environment. Before he got his helmet he wasn't sure how that worked. Now that he had experienced total immersion he had to admit it seemed the way of the future.
He opened the fridge and was pleasantly surprised to see a baked chicken all cooked and ready to be eaten. He had to admit this VR thing definitely built up an appetite. He was a little worried about gaining weight but he was starving. After several helpings of food his hunger had mostly subsided.
Looking at the time he saw it had only been a few minutes so he went into the living room and turned on the television. His dad had been watching the news and he was too lazy to change the channels.
Chin cradled in his hand he watched newscaster talk about trade wars, cold wars, and a few natural disasters. It was briefly mentioned that it was the anniversary of the Pandemic and they had a two-minute segment mentioning how half a billion people had died from the disease but the survivors were stronger and far more resistant to sickness. Then naturally they had the same old conspiracy theories stating it was likely a government weapon that had gotten out in the wild. Same old same old.
Then they had some social scientist come on and say that technology was moving too fast and it was destroying society. Then an economist came on and mentioned that the rapidly developing ex-third world countries were starting to compete with and put pressure on the economy of the United States. A massive recession was predicted.
Dave turned off the TV. The news hadn't said anything new in years, simply rehashed old issues. It was one of the reasons he would rather be playing with his friends rather than listening to the latest people saying the world was going to end.
His steps gathered speed as he headed back to the game. It may not be reality but most of the time watching the news was listening to a bunch of paranoid lunatics.