Spontaneous

Nakhanu (Binti's mother) was a lively and beautiful woman. She took life lightly, laughed a lot and avoided confrontations, and controversy. That did not mean she was a push over. She brought life and laughter to a place with her sense of humour and faced adversity with gleaming eyes. Life was not her gift, it was an entitlement. She lived it to the fullest. She took risks, had fun and sailed through her journey of life without care. At 23, after her graduation, she stayed in the city to look for a job. Although she was a village girl, the village could not contain her. She suspected that at one time her country might not contain her. Being smart, she landed a job in a multinational corporation as an accountant. After a year's experience, she was promoted to be the assistant director of the finance department. In the second year of her career, she received a letter offering her a scholarship to further her studies overseas. Unbridled, she took the chance to advance her studies without hesitation. She figured that since she was not married, she might as well head out.

Paul (her ex-husband) was her best friend at that time. As the son of a business magnate, he was being groomed as the successor. Hence he was working in his father's company. He had been friends with Nakhanu since they joined university. She was his go to person whenever he had an issue regarding accounts, finance and utilization of resources in a company. Her efficiency and bubbly personality awed him. He had fallen for her but she was blind to his affection and concern. They were having dinner, at his cost, when she broke the news about her scholarship to him. Her enthusiasm discouraged him from convincing her to stay in Country A. Looking at her gleaming eyes, he joked lightly,

'Whoa, our Nakhanu is too smart to remember that she should be married and having babies, not hoping around the world'.

The comment, though stated in a light manner, rubbed her the wrong way. The fork holding a piece of roasted lamp froze near her chin while her gleaming eyes became colder. The table suddenly froze as the hand holding the fork returned to the plate.

'What do you mean by that?' she spat.

The question almost made him jump up from the seat and repent for all his iniquities.

'Ummm, calm down a bit, we are not fighting yet, we are just having a meal and a chat', Paul stuttered while smiling nervously.

'Might as well have a meal and chat with this chair. Am off', she stood up and beckoned the waiter.

Paul got off his chair fast. Knowing her, it always took a word for her bubbly surface to turn into an agitated kitten spoiling for a fight. He revered her while her peers and acquaintances feared her angry self. He tried placating her and telling her to return to her chair. After a few minutes of persuasion, she calmed down and sat on her chair.

'Why would you say that right now? You are a jerk you know', looking at him with a pained expression she pierced her fork on a piece of lamp.

'Is it that hard to be happy for me?' she added before popping the lamp into her mouth.

'Am sorry, I did not mean it to sound bad', he muttered.

'But it did', she pushed on.

'Yes, and I regret that'.

'Regret isn't going to cut it right now. Regret never saved a lost life. If it did, the people we love would be alive', she sighed.

Taking this chance as a sign of her letting him off, he tried to ease off the topic,

'Hey, am awfully sorry. I really am happy for you. And evidence of my happiness is this…' he talked fast while placing an envelope on the table. He did not want to give her leeway to nit-pick on his words and grill him for an hour.

She suppressed a smile and scoffed while taking the envelope. However, he could see the glimmer of joy in her eyes.

'Just so you know, you are not forgiven,' she said after taking a peek at the contents in the envelope.

'Hey, that isn't fair. Forgiveness should be part of this package called friendship', Paul smiled.

'Should I throw out this 'package of friendship' in gabbage', she smiled while pointing at him.

'Not cool… ', he murmured while getting back to his food. He had swallowed the rest of his sentence about the fact that women should not be fierce knowing that the aftermath will not be pretty.

At 25 years, Nakhanu was at an age where society expected her to be married. Her spontaneous nature had sent her to a foreign country to study as opposed to a husband.

'Oh yeah, and who knows, I might find me a husband there', she smirked.

'Am heartbroken…' Paul gasped, pretending to fall down while clutching his chest.

'Yeah right' they laughed in unison as they talked about her preparation to Country B.

She did not find a husband. She got two papers. She graduated with a Master's degree and a PhD within a span of two and half years. The exposure in Country B influenced her decision to start an auditing firm in her home country. She had never had any intention of staying in country B for longer than was necessary. Her relationships were barely existent and when Paul proposed to her once she hit age 28, she thought it was the most prudent step to take. The career she loved had taken off and as much as her heart did not flutter, she felt that it was the right step to take. Or maybe it was the right decision that society required her to make. Paul's family was quite accepting and reminded her of the harmony she grew up as a child. The occasional feuds within Paul's family were never toxic. Most of the time they involved talking some sense into one of the siblings, including Paul, it was pretty much a clique that tried to protect their relationship as opposed to their wealth. His sister was a darling and a younger sister to her while his naughty brother was like her protector. Her twins took up most of her attention until the time they started attending kindergarten.

The peace was welcome, however, a nagging feeling that she was missing something always settled at the pit of her stomach. It was intangible and indiscernible. She went through work and daily life kicking down that feeling yet it kept staying there. It became overwhelming once she sent the twins to school hence she got busy with expanding her auditing firm which, although it had grown, it did so at a slower pace due to her divided attention since her family also required her. The unsettling peace and calm would later be shattered by Sadique, her beloved.