Her Sake

'Let us just get a divorce'.

A woman seated at the edge of the bed sighed, avoiding her husband's stare. Paul, who was removing his tie, paused and looked at the back of the woman he loved. His heart that was being cut into pieces and losing hope as the year went by still ached. These were not new words to him and God knows he had tried to tie her by his side. It was 3 years since they met Sadique, the twins were young well-behaved gentlemen in primary school and the only thing that he couldn't control was his wife's love. It had been 2 years of heartache and currently, he was tired.

'Okay. Let us do that,' he uttered heavily and got out of the room.

The kiss that night, 2 and half years ago, had set the ball rolling for the painful separation that night. It was painful for both and heart wrenching for one. As she heard the door bang, her mind travelled to the night she and Sadique shared their first kiss. Appalled by her actions, she had run out of the room and driven home. The twins were already asleep and her husband, who had gotten off work early that day, was seated in the study room waiting for her as a tradition. His greetings stuck on his throat when she got in and kissed him. She straddled him, her arms on her shoulder and aggressively took on his lips. He couldn't help respond back amid questions of have you eaten and are you okay which were all answered in the affirmative while being shushed up. Breaking off for a moment, he held a shoulder and looked at her eyes that glimmered with desire. He wondered if they really were glimmering for him. He tossed that thought aside and whispered 'let's finish this in the bedroom, hmmm'. She nodded her head. He stood up and let her down but she lifted her legs and straddled his torso, her hands locked around his shoulder blades for support, forcing him to carry her. Her needy nature was new to him yet all he could say was that that was the best sex ever, since they got married. She fell asleep in his arms after they were done. He was forced to sleep that way since she held on to him every time he tried to get off bed. As Paul observed her possessiveness, he could not help feeling unsettled.

It could have been the effort of a married woman trying to hold onto her sanity, but mostly her heart. Her heart which had never fluttered at the sight of her husband was fluttering at the sight of another man. She had dismissed the excitement she got whenever they were together as him just being good company. Yet, after the kiss she realized that the excite she felt when around him was not the same as the comfortable atmosphere she had when around her husband. At most one could say that towards her husband, she felt obligated by friendship. But towards this man, it was happiness, contentment, comfort and the feeling that she belonged in his space and he belonged in hers. She wondered if that was what they called love. The laptop she had left in Sadique's office that night was sent to her via his assistant. The documents that would complete the auditing phase were sent via e-mail and through the assistants. Since the final phase did not require their attention, they delegated the tasks to other company managers. They had a tacit agreement to avoid each other by all means. She was not about to betray her husband and break her family. Sadique held similar sentiments.

Their decision made them aware of how much they had gotten used to each other. It was as if they had been curved into each other's person. The further they stayed from each other, the more they were aware of how empty they felt without each other. Nakhanu poured all her attention in work, her children and husband in order to force down the emptiness she felt. The nagging and unsettling feeling that had once disappeared came back. Sadique, after the final phase, appointed a CFO to take charge of the company while he took time off to travel. Every place he went in the city had traces of that woman. However, travelling did not help since it seemed that the memory of their time together could not be erased. He came back to the country at the beginning of the second year and kept a low profile. Even when he saw her occasionally, he thought that it would be better if he loved her from her distance. Because he loved her, he could not bear to see her destroyed.

It had been a year since she met Sadique and 6 months since she last saw him, and kissed him. Her heart longed for the friend whom she never had to talk much but he would understand her heart. She morphed into a workaholic whose family was prioritized as second. She began to spend lesser time with her sons, leaving them in the care of Paul. She really desired to spend more time with them yet every time she spend with them she imagined what it would be like if she had married Sadique. Her distance was fueled by the guilt that she was replacing her husband. Even though she buried her head in work, her heart could not forget that man.

They met again during a banquet held by a company they were collaborating with. Paul had stayed home to help out with the twins. The moment she saw those blue eyes looking at her in entrancement, she turned and headed to the exit. He caught up with her at the underground parking lot. He had not seen her for one and half years and the moment he did, he could not help holding her in his arms. He embraced her in his arms and as she struggled 'just for a minute, let me stay like this just for a minute'. Her hands went limb before they moved and held his back, tears of resignation flowed. That night, she slept at his condo and he watched her vulnerable self, curled peacefully in bed in his guestroom. He had no intention of touching her when she was still with her husband. However, he had no intention of leaving her. He wanted her so badly he did not mind being the bad person.

That night had set the stage for the demand for divorce. As much as Paul had agreed to divorce her, his heart ached so badly he felt like he would die. He knew that that day would come when she came to him one evening and told him that he loved someone else. The day she broke the news to him, he was livid. He wanted to know the man she loved so much that she was willing to abandon him and the twins. The pain he felt was intense when he discovered that that man was his friend, Sadique. At first he felt betrayed; later, all he wanted was to grip on his love. He could not imagine living his life without Nakhanu. The more he tried to hold onto, the more he felt her distance. He saw her wither as she tried to make it up to him even though she loved another man. Her guilt had driven her away to her work since she felt that being with them only hurt them. Her twins missed her yet both of them did not know how they could get through the stalemate. The more they stayed together, the more the twins were affected and the more she begged him for a divorce.

He let her go. He had to let her go. For the love he had, he could not bear to see her pain.