Sad is Hidden Behind His Eyes

Five minutes later, I find myself sitting in the passenger seat of Seojun's car, staring out the window feeling a little awkward. He insisted on driving me rather than me taking the bus or bothering Asad since he has practice. I glance over at Seojun. His eyes are focused on the road as he pulls out of the school. Now is my chance to ask him what I want to, but--

"Do you mind if we stop at Dunkin'?" He asks, turning his head to look at me. Panicked, I unconsciously sit upwards, eyes wide hoping it didn't look like I was watching him.

"Um, no I don't mind," I say, letting out a small breath to relax myself. Calm down Mishal. There's no reason to freak out. "Hey." I look over at him again and really look at his face. Woah, he has really nice skin, I think to myself. He looks like... a k-pop idol or something. Huh. With that face he could be. How come I never noticed before?

"Yeah?" He raises his eyebrows casting me a side glance.

"Do you..." I hesitate for a second, a little nervous. Ah, screw this. "Do you know anyone named Pierce?" Seojun frowns and shakes his head.

"No. Who's that?"

"Oh. Nevermind then," I say. Seojun makes a turn into Dunkin'.

"Now you have to tell me why you asked. Who is that?" he asks me.

"It's no one," I say with a small laugh, hoping to brush off the topic.

"Okayy, if you say so," he says, giving me a look before turning to the speaker of the drive-thru. I purse my lips, looking away out the window, my heart thumping. I should just tell him about the letter.

"Hey, um," I turn to face him again, and wait for him to take his order before speaking up again. "Actually, I have to tell you something. I'm like, really confused about it, maybe you'll know what it's about?"

"Mhm, go on," he says, giving me his full attention.

"So I got this letter. Like right before I started working at the bakery. And uhh," I laugh a little nervously. "It had a picture of you and another guy too. Two separate pictures. And there was a note that said, 'save them.' I got a letter like that twice. And I have no idea what it meant. Are you in trouble or something? If you are, let me know, and maybe we can figure it out? I don't know what I can even do, but..." I trail off and shrug. "Yeah. That's it." Seojun pauses for a moment to think, pursing his lips. I watch carefully, but suddenly realize I'm looking pretty closely at his very nearby face and I shift my attention away, heart thumping. If my parents ever found out I sat in a guy's car, all alone with him, I'd be dead. I shift uncomfortably. This has never ever happened to me before.

"Well I'm glad you told me, but it must be some prank. Maybe you should be the one to careful," he says, breaking me free from my thoughts. "Someone could be stalking you or something. Who was the other guy?"

"This guy at my school," I say, avoiding eye contact.

"Oh. Did you talk to him about it?" he asks. I shake my head.

"No. I don't really talk to him." I meet Seojun's gaze. His expression had faltered for a moment when I told him about this. "Are you sure you're good?" He lips stretch into a huge smile.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I frown, leaning closer to squint at his face in a joking way.

"Positive?"

"Mhm."

"One hundred and ten percent?" I ask. He opens his mouth to answer, but the Dunkin' cashier slides open the window.

"Your order," she says, handing him a bag and drink.

"Thank you," he says, taking it from her. "The donut holes are for you," he says to me.

"Seriously?" I say excitedly, opening the bag. "Thank you!" He smiles.

"You're welcome." I take out the box and open it, happily shoving the first one into my mouth. And then I remember I didn't finish, so I turn back to him as he pulls out.

"So you're one hundred and ten percent positive?" I ask again. He laughs.

"You're still on that?"

"You didn't answer my question," I say, my eyes narrowing. He takes a deep breath.

"I do have problems just like everyone else, but I don't need saving. So don't worry about it."

"Oh." I sit back in the seat. "Ok. Well, if you ever need to talk, I'm here to listen." I shouldn't push it too much. Glancing at his slightly saddened expression, I wonder if I'm supposed to help him with whatever his problem is. But is it really right to push into his business like that? What I should really be doing is figuring out who sent those letters.

"Thank you," he says, giving me a small smile. "But don't worry about it okay? If you need help finding who sent those letters, I'll help you."

"Okay, thanks," I say. I really hope I can figure it out. This is all just so confusing and makes no sense.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After we close up, I grab my bag, ready to leave only to find Seojun waiting for me by the doorway.

"Hey, is your brother coming to pick you up?" he asks. I nod slowly.

"Um, yeah. Why?"

"Do you..." he runs his hand through his hair awkwardly. My heart does a little flip, thinking it looked good when he did that. "Wanna come with me? I'll drop you off."

"Umm..." I make a "yikes" face. First of all, I'm super tired and don't really have the energy to be around people like him who I'm not totally comfortable around yet. Second, I just don't feel like it. Third, I'd be totally busted and grounded from the rest of my life and never be able to work again. Okay, that's a bit dramatic, but point made, right? "I don't really want to get in trouble," I tell him with a laugh. "I'm not really allowed to be hanging out with boys, and if my parents see, I'm dead."

"Oh." He purses his lips, looking away with what looks like disappointment. My heart sinks a little, feeling kind of bad. He smiles again though. "That's fine then. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yup!" I smile back, relieved I don't have to deal with any more awkward tension. I turn to go, seeing Asad's car pull up into the nearly empty parking lot. "Bye! See you tomorrow!" With a wave, I start to head out.

"Hey, wait," Seojun says, suddenly putting a hand on my shoulder to stop me. I halt in my steps, slowly looking up at him.

"Yeah?" I ask. His dark eyes meet mine for a moment, and I get lost in how sad they look for just a few seconds before he puts on his bright smile once again, as if shoving light into his eyes.

"Never mind," he says. "Goodnight." He turns to go back to the counter to get his stuff, closing off any discussion before it can start. I stare at him for a long few moments, scrunching my eyebrows. What was that? But I let it go, turning to leave.

"Goodnight."