Chapter 32

Alexander's POV

I couldn't stop the need for my wolf to kiss our mate. And I admit, I badly do want it, too. I've waited for this for so long, to hold her and to kiss her. And when I did, I didn't regret any of my actions for kissing her so suddenly without her permission. Sparks flew all over when my lips found hers. I couldn't stop myself to moan while kissing her for it felt so good, damn good! Heat enflamed my body and I wanted more. More than just a kiss. But when I felt she was tensed by the kiss I abruptly let her go.

Then suddenly her feelings came rushing through me. Her sadness, the pain and hurt she had been keeping inside filled me. I felt that she felt sorry for herself and that she think lowly of herself.

But she is my Mate. Nothing can change that or no one can ever stop me from having her and claiming her!

Even if she feels not worthy of herself to become my mate, I will make her see it and prove to her that she had every right to be mine.

That she was perfectly made just for me.

"No, you don't understand.." she said while tears already streaming down her face "I am not the mate you would want to have!" Her chest is heaving up and down from her emotions "So please just reject me before you regret it.."

Before responding to her I quickly grab the tray of food on my lap and put it down on the table and face her.

"Why? Why are you pushing me away?" I grabbed her face between my hands but then she pulled away. But I am determined to convince her that I am not going anywhere or reject her.

"You are my mate! You can't change that! And you can't just tell me to reject you! How could you even want that?"

"Because you don't understand!"

"Then tell me! Make me understand!"

We were yelling at each other. Eyes blazing with different emotions.

I did not expect us to be like this. I was expecting to see we are wrapped up in each other or tangled up in the bed for it is what mates usually do.

Once again I sat beside her and face her "Make me understand" I look into her eyes to make her see that I am really sincere with her.

"I can't.." then she just cried even more. Her eyes filled with so much sadness and despair.

My wolf howled inside me reaching for his mate. He urges me to touch our mate and comfort her.

Once again, I hold her face and she was pulling away but I hold her tight and leaned down to her, and put her forehead to mine. So our faces were so close to each other.

Leaning my forehead to hers, I look her in the eyes but she shut her eyes not wanting to look at me.

"Hey, please," I said gently "Please, look at me."

But she's not listening to me, still, she held her eyes close while her tears kept pouring down her face. Though sparks and tingles crawled up to my skin, I felt more of the heartaches and pains that surrounded her heart. Something was keeping her, stopping her to give in to the call of our bond. To reach and embrace the bond of being our mate. I can feel her fear, nervousness, and trembling under my touch. And I was worried for her. I can't let her be like this every time I would touch her.

"What is it that stopping you from not wanting me to be your mate?" My voice was low and hoarse. Desperate for her to accept me and not push herself away "The Moon Goddess knows how much I wanted to find my mate. To find you. And now that you're here I won't let you go.."

She shook her head and more tears pour down her face upon hearing what I said. Her shoulder shook from her cries.

My heart hurt to see her like this. My wolf howled to her mate, calling her wolf.

Then my wolf surged forward, wrapping us both in his presence. I still held her face close to mine.

"You know what to do" I firmly said to my wolf.

To be able to understand her more, I need to be inside that vulnerable mind of hers. Through the bond of our wolfs, it traveled inside of her with her wolf guiding us, letting us in. Inside her felt lonely, cold, and dark. And then slowly her memories gradually revealed one by one. All of her memories were painful, unforgiving, and horrifying. It was terrible. It made me outraged from anger. It shook me to the core, every cell, my nerves, and my heart trembled in so much fury. My wolf was furious and felt anguish toward the memories of her past.

How dare them to hurt her and treat her badly!

What angered me more was that she was been forcefully marked by Malka!

"Please, stop this! What are you doing?" she fearfully said. She thrashes under my hold but I hold her firmly "Please stop! Let me go!"

I hold her tight, never letting her go as I continue to know more of what's inside making her vulnerable and fearful.

Shock coursed through my whole body as the memories kept coming to me. Her wolf whimpered in pain.

My wolf roared in anger.

'She was the shewolf inside that room in the cave!'

And she was the one whom we heard that night. Calling to us, asking for help!

Bit by bit, the dreadful happenings she had been through filled me.

It drowns my heart with so much anger. It filled my head with vengeance.

How could he do this to her?

Rage filled me. I was breathing heavily upon these revelations.

Thanked the Moon Goddess he's already dead! Or I will kill him over and over again!

I was rattling with so much anger but the last memory showed unto me made me roar.

'What the fuck!?'

She had been abused by her uncle?!

Now, I can't control any more of my anger. All of her memories had me left speechless. I was drowning with so much fury. Abruptly I let go of her.

I was breathing hard and I felt suffocated. It pains my heart to know all that she had been through. It shattered me after knowing what happen to her.

My wolf stomped heavily and angrily. A low growl emanates from my chest.

I can't control him now. He is too blinded with anger. I need to get away from here or else, he might break out and lash out at everything and I don't want her to see that.

I cannot make out any words to her. I just felt the need to be out of this room.

I walk out of the room leaving her hopelessly crying.

I strode my way out of that room and head outside. I hurriedly shifted to my wolf. As soon as he was free, he let out an angry cry! The moon was lit up above, shining through the night sky. I look up at the moon and roared once again. I cried all the pains and anger out to the moon.

I just needed some air to take this all in. I can't hold the anger that had form inside me so I needed to be out for a moment.

"That is why she wants us to reject her. She felt that she is not worthy anymore to be our mate!"  My wolf said angrily.

'She thinks that we might not accept her because of what happen to her..'

But she was wrong. Why does she have to judge us quickly? Making decisions all by herself to just reject her and be by her own self? Why does she have to think like that?

She is my mate! She is the one that the Moon Goddess destined to be our mate! And yet she refused to be ours!

But even though my mind think all of these, I can't just easily go to her and ask these questions from her. How hard it must been for her and how painful it was for her to get through all of it. That's why I had stopped myself to confront her and ask her questions that might offend her. And I don't want that to happen.

I just needed to be alone and let out my anger that I felt towards from all her sufferings. I needed to composed myself first, clear my head and calm my wolf so that when I face her, she wouldn't feel any of my anger. She wouldn't see that I will never pity her or feel sympathy towards what happen to her but instead I will make her feel that she was perfectly made just for us.

That she was perfect to me.