Author's Confessions

Greetings, I wanted to tell you my motivations for writing this series and say thank you to all my day ones and to future readers before ending this volume. Your support truly helps me continue writing.

Why am I writing?

It started when my grandma became sick she wasn't eating so they took her to a hospital. The Dr. ran tests and explained that there was a large growth on her liver. Days later it was diagnosed as cancer.

I was depressed and needed an escape. But that wasn't my motivation. I could have just kept video gaming if that were the case. Honestly I had used gaming to cope for so long that I decided that I couldn't continue anymore.

Right after my grandmother was hospitalized I started writing. I needed and wanted to pour myself into something meaningful and fulfilling. I thought that creating a manga was the answer.

A few weeks after my grandma was diagnosed my cousin was sentenced to 12-40 years in prison and a week after that my uncle took his own life (they have no blood relation one another). On top of that my job was stressing me about a license they had needed from me. However amidst the chaos I also manged to lose my wallet. Because I was dealing with all these things my lost license was the last thing on my mind when it came down to it.

Thank God I had already begun writing by the time the diagnosis was made or I would have lost my friggin marbles.

I've always been filled with artistic talents that weren't ever really explored. I loved writing singing and drawing. But I wasn't doing any of those things. I needed an outlet. This one seems right. I am currently leveling up my drawing abilities so that I can turn this "Manga script" into a WebToon.

It has been truly encouraging to see the amount of people reading this series. Whether or not I fail I know I'll continue to create because that is my passion.

Why am I saying all this. This information isn't really for anyone in particular. You might believe I wasted your time and well that might just mean that this wasn't meant for you. However if you are in mourning and or stuck in a vicious cycle and you feel stuck. I pray that you can take this as encouragement to evolve from your current state. Life is always reseting it self. It's ultimately your decision to change. I truly feel different as person and though I have some quirks I'm working on improving my self daily by giving myself multiple opportunities to fail.

I will make a discord for anyone who wishes to join. Let me know in the comments.

I am truly thankful for your support. You all have carried me on your backs in my biggest time of need. I have a reason to be grateful for this Thanks Giving. Though October was the worst month of my life. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Update: My grandmother is undergoing an experimental treatment. She currently seems alright. Although I do hear that she also suffers from some pain.

Also it would seem that in a fit of delirium I had placed my wallet inside an empty dresser that I never use. It had been missing for over 2 months. The drawer was literally empty aside from having my wallet which contained my rent money inside.

*updated* December 28th 2020

Wow... Hello there. I guess I've been MIA for a year. Little did I know 2020 would be the worst time of my life. She didn't make it. Due to the virus I had not been able to see her leading up to the day she died. I was kept in the dark about her progress and she died suddenly, atleast from my prospective. I stayed away in fear of passing any thing to her, but in the end I regretted that decision.

Why have I been gone?

Streaming took over my life. I don't know how else to cope and it keeps me constantly busy. jcloved is my twitch channel. If I am at my job and don't have anything to do, and my boomer mind doesn't forget I'll try to revisit writing.

I honestly would prefer to reboot this whole series now that I have a more realistic mind set. I know I can't create a manga and that I should stick to web novels.

It's been nice to feel needed or something while streaming but lately it doesn't feel the same. Anyways I pray that we can quickly more past this year and that the next is a year of recovery.