| apple and sandwiches

Life is your canvas. Fill it with colour.

- Unknown

________________________

- M A T T H E W -

"Just put it in!" Lila exclaimed with a sigh, no doubt noticing my confusion as I hesitated with creased eyebrows.

"Are you sure I did it right?" I tilted my head to face her, my lips parting.

"Yes, I would've stopped you if you didn't." She replied, humour evident in her tone.

Unfolding the dollar I had in my hand, I straightened it out, slipping it into the correct slot. We were stood in front of the vending machine that was in the cafeteria, Lila leaning against the machine.

I wanted to try and pick the snack myself so I could do it by myself whenever Lila wasn't with me and since the numbers weren't in Braille, I had to memorise the position of the buttons I had to use. Third from the left and second from the bottom.

Hearing the chips packet fall to the ground, I leaned down, pushing the flap with my fingertips and collecting the bag. I grabbed Toby's harness, guiding him to follow Lila's footsteps.

It was recess and since I couldn't grab breakfast, I decided to come to the cafeteria and grab a snack. We had two periods already, only one of them being with Lila. My mom was right when she said that I had to give it a couple of days for people to approach me. People approached me, but we didn't have a conversation I was interested in. It's not like I didn't want to widen my circle of friends, but I was perfectly content with the triangle.

Once we reached outside, I heard a bottle fall to the floor before Lila clicked her tongue. "You were meant to catch it, Yasmine."

"Sorry."

I noticed she was slightly breathless, which painted a small smirk on my face, she was sitting next to Greg and must've been making out with him.

"Hi, Matthew." A deep voice said, gaining my attention. "I'm Greg."

"The famous Greg Williams." I grinned, picking up on Yasmine's nervous squeak. "You're in most of my classes."

Lila subtly knocked on the back of my hand, snorting quietly. "You alright there, Yasmine?" she asked, her hand still brushing against mine.

I wanted to sit down, but she probably wouldn't sit beside me, meaning no more physical contact. I relished the little contacts, like her hand touching mine.

Being blind, I learnt to use my other senses quite well. I memorised people's scents or the pattern of the footsteps and how heavy they would walk. I would memorise the texture of things, being able to identify them with my hands.

Lila smelt faintly of apples and lavender, and picking up on the shower gel she probably used, it smelt of citrusy fruits. It made me wonder how it would feel like for her scent to encase me and put me in this trance. I would put my arms around her, my nose buried in her hair or hers tucked into the crook of my neck. But then again, she'd realise how fast my heart would be beating if her head was against my chest.

Inwardly, I groaned, shifting onto my left foot and deciding to take a seat. You know you can't stop thinking about her. The voice in my mind sung, my jaw clenching. Toby lifted his head from his paws, sensing my discomfort and whined quietly as he rubbed himself against my legs, settling in between.

"It's okay, Toby." A small smile made its way onto my face, my hand coming out of my pocket before I stroked him between the shoulder blades.

I sucked in a soft intake of air when I felt her sit beside me, her arm slinging around my shoulders. Ignoring the flutter in my chest, I listened closely. "Guess what?"

Guessing the question wasn't rhetorical, I shifted my head slightly. "Am I actually going to have to guess or are you just going to say what you wanted to say?"

"What?" she objected, withdrawing her hand. "No, you actually have to guess. You guys too."

I turned my head when I heard foreign footsteps approaching the table, a cheery voice sounding soon after right in front of me. "Hi! I was wondering if I could pet your dog?"

"He doesn't like being petted by strangers, sorry." I answered, giving her a small smile.

"Well," she replied, "I don't have to be a stranger." Her tone was flirtatious, a giggle falling from her mouth seconds after.

My jaw fell loose, my breath hitching in my throat. I heard Lila grind her teeth slowly, the atmosphere suddenly going hostile. "Hi, Lila." The girl's voice was icy, making me squirm slightly.

"Gloria."

I pushed my tongue on the inside of my mouth, listening to what she was saying. "My friends and I were wondering if you would have lunch with us today, you can sit next to me."

Rubbing my jaw line, I slid my hand to the back of my neck, scratching it awkwardly. "I'm already having lunch with Lila, maybe some other time?"

There was a big intake of oxygen from Gloria. "Yeah. Some other time."

Toby whined quietly and shuffled against me slowly, Lila clearing her throat beside me. "Bye, Gloria."

There was a silence before she spoke with an icy tone, the hostility rolling off her in waves. "Bye, Lila." Her footsteps silenced moments after.

Greg and Yasmine resumed in their conversation, leaving Lila and me in silence. Turning my head, I leaned in slightly. "I'm guessing you don't like her."

"No," she stretched out the letters, her sweet tone false. "I just love her."

---

"Matthew." Lila whispered, the person in between us sighing. He offered to swap seats with her, the discreet noises of the two of them moving the books and chairs meeting my ears.

"Sharpie or felt tip?"

"What?" I responded, moving my head imperceptibly.

"This is a question that defines our friendship."

At that, I smiled widely. "We are friends then." Knowing that I've never actually used a pen before, I said one of the two, my abdominal muscles clenching unwillingly when she placed her hand over mine.

"We're going to be good friends." She patted my hand, remaining silent when Ms Walter called out my name.

"Matthew is with Lila for this project," I bit the inside of my cheek to hide my smile. "Cleo is with Zara." I blocked out all the other names, sliding my hand into the back of my shirt, rubbing my shoulder blade.

"What's the project about? I wasn't paying attention." I made sure my voice was low since I really didn't want the teacher to hear me.

As the bell rang, I stood from my seat and packed my stuff away, slinging my bag over my shoulder and taking hold of Toby's harness. "A country's cuisine - our choice."

Stepping out of the classroom, I blocked out the noises of people exiting their classes, heading towards the exit. "Do you have any other nationalities?"

Squinting my eyes slightly, I emitted a soft breath from my mouth. "My grandma's Italian, we could do that."

She acknowledged it with a hum and the rest of the short walk to her car was silent. Toby yipped  as I opened the backdoor, jumping on the dog seat I kept in Lila's car on school days.

The car grumbled to life, my hand situated on the metal of the seatbelt, my fingers tingling at the coldness. Clenching and unclenching my jaw muscles, I leaned my head back whilst a huge grin made its way onto my face.

"We could start now, could you come over?"

Hearing the breath hitch in her throat, I didn't know if she was glancing at me or not, and kept my expression neutral. "S-sure, I'd love to."

I told her my address with a smile, turning my head to face the window as I bit my lip to stop my smile from widening.

- L I L A -

I glanced at him, but all I saw was the side of his face whilst his hand was flat against the side of his seat. I would've stared at him much longer, but I realised that I was driving and had to focus on the road.

Rolling my eyes, I cheered inwardly, for the umpteenth time, that he couldn't see how my cheeks heated up. I didn't know what it was, but for some reason, I always blushed at least once when he was with me.

Great?

Stopping in front of his house, he told me to park in the driveway. Toby producing sounds of happiness at the sight of Matthew unlocking him from his seat. He jumped out with ease, standing still at Matthew's side until he gripped the harness, signalling for him to go.

I followed a couple of steps behind him, my fingers tingling as he pulled out a set of keys, opening the door. Only remembering in that moment, I spoke up. "My parents wanted to have you and your parents over for dinner this Saturday, is that okay?"

He turned his head at the sound of my voice, a small smile adorning his face. "It should be, I'll ask them and tell you what they say."

He gestured for me to follow him up the steps, leading me to his bedroom. I couldn't help the smile that crept into my face as I scanned his room. It was a change since Dan's room was constantly a mess.

His room faintly smelt of paint, which was understandable, and half of his bookshelf was packed with books in Braille. A guitar was perched against the wall, a small box of guitar picks positioned on one of the moving boxes.

I never pegged him as a guitarist.

"Are you going to sit down? Or would you rather work standing up?"

Focusing my eyes on him, I released a shaky laugh, taking a seat beside him on the bed. "My dad has a cookbook of all my grandma's recipes, we could make a poster on them."

Toby took hold of his chewy toy, lying on the carpet. I nodded in confirmation, fine with doing a poster. Matthew placed his school bag at the end of his bed, picking up his white cane and allowing his guide dog to play. "I'm guessing it's in one of the boxes in the kitchen," he mumbled to himself, walking down the stairs and tilting his head to face me once we were in the kitchen. "Do you want anything to eat?"

"Matthew?" his mom came into the kitchen, a wide grin plastered on her face when she noticed my presence. "Hi, Lila!"

"Hi, Mom."

"Hi, Katherine."

We both spoke at the same time, Katherine going to wash her hands in the sink. She turned back to look at her son, smiling warmly. "Do you want to stay for dinner? I'm guessing you're doing schoolwork."

Matthew nodded, turning his back to me and opening the cupboard to retrieve a glass, feeling around for the tap before he filled it halfway. "I'll ask my mom." I replied, smiling.

"Oh," Matthew spoke, turning to his mom. "Lila's parents wanted us over for dinner this Saturday, is Dad free?"

Katherine's mouth opened and the smile reached her eyes. "We'd love to come! Angus is free, so that's all good. But for now, would you two like a sandwich?"

I declined politely whilst Matthew nodded, kissing his mom's cheek before he asked for the cookbook. Katherine passed it to him, proceeding to make him a sandwich.

Once he got his sandwich, he thanked his mom, going back to his room. "Do you want to start on the poster and I'll find some pictures on my laptop."

"Sure, do you want me to read out which one I'm doing?"

He hummed mid-yawn, drawing my attention to his lips. His dark glasses covered half of his face, his hair - like normal - had this look to it, which suited him very well. Sitting so close to him, I could practically feel the warmth radiate from him, and it made me wonder what it would feel like to hug Matthew, to have his arms around me.

Lila! Get a grip on yourself!

After a couple of hours, we were killing time since we finished the poster and had it tucked into my bag.

"So, I'd ask what your favourite colour is, but I don't know any," he laughed nervously, his back leaning against the headrest.

I returned a laugh, smiling softly. "What's your favourite book?"

"Umm," he chuckled, "I like a lot of books, but this one." Reaching down to his side, he picked up a small book, biting his lip. "This is my favourite, it was given to me by someone special. They taught me a lot in life."

He had a serene smile on his face, silence rushing into the room before the door swung open, a guy with an exuberant smile on his face stepping in.

"So, you bring a girl home and you didn't even tell me!" he stood at the threshold of the door, amusement sparkling in his eyes.

Matthew sighed, sitting up straighter. "Hello to you too, Isaac."

A blush was plastered across my cheeks, my lips separating into a small smile. Isaac smiled charmingly, leaning against the wall behind him. "I'm Isaac. what's your name?"

"Lila."

"Oh!" he exclaimed, winking. "A pretty name for a pretty girl." My eyes widened as I laughed awkwardly, avoiding his blue eyes.

"Isaac, get out." Matthew said soberly, chucking whatever he could find at him, hitting his shoulder.

Isaac held up his hands in mock surrender, frowning. "Okay okay, but-"

Matthew raised his eyebrows, swinging his long legs over the edge of the bed. "Isaac, I'll talk to you later, bye."

Placing his hand over his heart, he gave puppy eyes, his mouth falling open. "I'm hurt, Lane. I've blessed you with my presence and you're telling me to leave? Man, I thought we were tight."

Shaking his head, he got up with his cane, whispering something in Isaac's ear. Then, he nodded swiftly, turning on his heel. "Nice meeting you, Lila!"

As I sat down at the dinner table, I regarded Angus with a polite smile, thanking them for their hospitality.

Matthew grinned and discarded his glasses, setting it down on the table, and looked in my direction. I stared at him, the corner of my mouth twitching up slightly at his calm demeanour as he ate from his plate. The movement of his jaw muscles drew my attention to how sharp his jaw line was and his dad cleared his throat moments after.

I bit my tongue in embarrassment, warmth flooding my cheeks. "So, Lila," Angus started, exchanging a sly smile with his wife. "Do you and Matthew have a lot of classes together?"

Finishing my bite, I glanced over at Matthew. "I think we have 4 classes together. We have English every day except Friday's so you could say that we do."

"I wish we had more, though." Matthew blurted out, a choked laugh coming from his parents.

Almost immediately, red flooded my cheeks whilst Matthew shot me a look full of a mixture of embarrassment and disbelief.

I gripped my fork tighter and ignored how my heartbeat increased.

Oh God.