| tarts and cheesecakes

Pain demands to be felt.

- John Green

_________________________

- L I L A -

Katherine greeted me with a warm, welcoming smile, separating her arms to pull me into a hug. "He's up in his room," she spoke, gesturing up the stairs with her head. "Toby is still at the vet, so he's kind of down in the dumps."

Angus leaned his head back, averting his gaze from the documentary that was being displayed on the television screen. "Try to cheer him up a bit, he can do with some laughter in his day."

Nodding, I sauntered up the stairs, my bag slung loosely over my shoulder as I reached his door. Through the small gap, I noted that he had his earphones in, and pushed the door slowly, hoping to not hear any loud creaks.

When I successfully opened the door without a sound, I watched as Matthew yawned loudly and turned on his side, allowing his leg to dangle off his bed.

"Good morning." I chirped, taking an earphone out of his ear.

The slight buzz from his headphones seized as he pressed on his iPod, lying on his back with a sigh. "I really don't want to go on this trip."

My features morphed into an expression of confusion, and I frowned slightly. "Why? We literally have no classes for the whole day."

"What I mean is, I don't like this shirt, it just doesn't feel right. But neither do my other shirts. I just didn't wake up in a good mood."

Eyeing the shirt that adorned his body, the corners of my lips lifted into a smile. "That shirt looks great, and plus, you don't have enough time to change anyway, we need to go."

He rose with a long groan, his body moving in a slow, lazy manner before he grabbed his phone out of the charger. Then, with a glance directed my way, he slowly grinned. "Good morning to you too."

As we descended down the stairs leisurely, Angus faced us, from the couch, with a smile that leaned towards the sly side. "So, Matthew finally smiles - I wonder why."

Ducking my head down, I didn't even bother releasing profanities at the feeling of warmth flooding my cheeks, catching onto what his dad was implying.

"Yeah, whatever." Matthew mumbled, turning to the side whilst restraining a grin from making its way onto his face. "I'm going to be home at around 7, are you and Mom going to be here?"

His dad shook his head. "Your mom isn't going to be here, but I will."

"Okay, see you later."

---

Nudging him with my shoulder, he lifted his head from the window, turning to me with a tired, lazy smile. "What are you listening to?"

He blinked sleepily, and ran his teeth over his bottom lip. "Blink 182," his voice was husky, laced with sleep. "Do you want to listen?"

Nodding silently, I grabbed the earphone and placed it in my ear, leaning my head on his shoulder. "It's a good song, Isaac introduced me to them."

"I heard my name." Isaac stated, leaning forward on his forearms and looking down at me with a grin. "Hi, Lila."

I smiled in lieu of a spoken response, focusing on the music rather than what Isaac was saying. Halfway through his sentence, the coach came to an abrupt halt, causing him to hit his head against the back of my chair.

At the sound, Matthew immediately broke out into laughter. "You're such an idiot, seat belts are there for a reason."

Grumbling to himself, Isaac grudgingly sat down in his seat, fastening his seatbelt. "You never put your seatbelt on."

"I do!" he objected, titling his head in his friend's direction. "But there's no point putting a seatbelt on when you drive, because you go slower than a snail."

"I'm a careful person!" Isaac cried. "And, I'll have you know that I follow the speed limit."

I released the laugh I couldn't hold in, and looked back at him with a grin. His eyes lit up at the sound of my laughter and he grinned broadly, his blue eyes full of mirth. "See," he spoke gently. "Lila understands."

There was a silence that engulfed us, Isaac sinking back into his chair with a blanket over him. "Can you guys wake me up when we get to the museum?"

I hummed in response, noticing that Matthew had already leaned his head against the window, his eyes drooping. "If I don't fall asleep too."

But eventually, I could feel myself falling asleep. My head was resting on Matthew's shoulder and the earphone had managed to fall from my ear since Matthew's chest repeatedly rose and fell with his soft breathing. The warmth his body emitted made it hard for my eyes to stay open, and then, because of how comfortable he felt, I fell asleep.

"Lila." He murmured, his hand curled around the back of my neck with his thumb resting on my earlobe. "Lila, wake up."

My sight was blurry, my eyelids heavy as I lifted my head from his shoulder, stretching my arms behind me. "Are we at the museum?"

"No." Just like this morning, his voice was heavy with sleep, his head against the headrest. "We're stopping for food."

"Oh, okay." Rubbing my eyes, I say up straighter in my seat, unlocking my seatbelt and allowing to fling back to its normal place. "I'm feeling McDonalds."

Getting up from my seat, I turned on my heel, placing a hand on Isaac's shoulder. "Isaac, we're getting food."

His eyes automatically sprang open. He looked lost for a couple of moment before he lifted his head up, his gaze meeting my mine. "Food." He sleepily mumbled. "Food is good."

We all gave each other a couple minutes to actually wake up before we grabbed our bags and made our way off the coach, meeting our history teacher who had a smile on his face.

"You can go to whatever food shop you want, but you all have to be back here by 2."

Half of my classmates wasted no time dawdling, and made a beeline for Burger King whereas Matthew, Yasmine, Greg, I began to calmly walk to McDonalds. Isaac, however, headed towards a bakery.

"I can already feel the Big Mac calling to me." Greg spoke, intertwining his fingers with Yasmine's. "I shouldn't have skipped breakfast."

Yasmine glanced at him and smiled before shrugging. "I offered you half of my bagel, but-" she trailed off, pushing against the entrance door.

Matthew walked beside me, a silly grin plastered on his face before he began laughing to himself.

"What are you laughing at?" I questioned, tilting my head upwards to meet his gaze. His eyes widened slightly at the realisation that I was watching him before he silently continued to laugh.

"Sorry, I'm just thinking about something." He spoke, stopping his laughter. "But, on the subject of funny things, I have a new pick up line, courtesy of Google, of course."

I snorted. "Okay, I'm ready, go on."

He shook his head with a lopsided grin. "The one I want to say, can't be dropped into a conversation, I'll say it when you least expect it."

Nodding, I stopped in front of the counter, tapping the surface with consecutive fingers.

After both Matthew and I ordered, we chose a place to sit, Matthew sitting in front of me. There was a silence between us as I pondered on how to phrase my sentence.

Oh hey, Matthew. You know our second date?

No.

Matthew? I was wondering if I could take-

Ugh.

I cracked my knuckles, releasing the tension in my hands before I cleared my throat. "Matthew?" Taking his silence as a cue to continue, I took a deep breath in, inwardly telling my self to woman up. "You know for our second date, could I take you somewhere this time?"

A light blush covered his cheeks as he smiled softly. "I'd love that."

"Great." I grinned. "Ice-skating is definitely off the list, but I am a pretty good cook."

He quickly lifted his head and laughed out loud. "Wow." He breathed. "We're not even dating yet and you're already going to cook for me."

I ignored the way my heart sped up at the word 'yet', flashing him a gentle smile. "I've made you coffee before, so that's a start."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I guess it is, I don't know how you do it so good. You're amazing."

At his compliment, I couldn't help the blush that graced my cheeks, my head dipping down to drink some of my milkshake to at least cool my burning cheeks. "That's what he said." I mumbled quietly, seeing Matthew chuckle to himself.

"I make a lot of sexual innuendos without noticing, sorry."

"Why?" I replied. "I find it funny."

He grinned silently, placing his hamburger down. "I'm glad I make you laugh, then."

_____

"Guys!" Isaac called out, jogging up to our table holding a box that had the bakery's logo on it. "This is full of chocolate and I'm literally just going to down it. Look."

The last part was directed to me as Matthew carried on eating his food.

I groaned silently, my mouth watering at the melted chocolate. Matthew reached into his pocket and opened his wallet, taking out 10$. "Could you buy me and Lila one?"

"No," I objected. "You don't have to pay for me." I said, placing a hand on his wrist, my mouth slightly open.

"I want to." He replied gently, touching the back of my hand with his free hand. "Think of it as a gift, that way you won't feel guilty."

"But, I feel bad."

Matthew shook his head, his eyebrows pulling in. "Don't be, I want to buy you something."

Smiling up at Isaac, my facial expression dropped slightly when I noticed him quickly change his frown into a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

---

I grinned as I stared at the computer screen, going through all the pictures we had taken. Given that it was mostly Yasmine and me, I smiled a little wider when one with Matthew and me came up.

It was nearing midnight, and everyone was asleep by the time I had decided to watch a few episodes of The Vampire Diaries. Helena, surprisingly, was fast asleep in her room next door, which meant I had to watch it with earphones in.

Realising that the location of my earphones were unknown to me, I sighed quietly and hauled myself off the bed, turning my light on.

It was only when I was on the floor, looking under my bed when my phone rang loudly, vibrating against the table.

Wincing at the loud sound it made, I grabbed it quickly and swiped my finger to silence the ringing. "Hello?" I whispered, wondering why Isaac was calling me at this time.

"Lila?" he called, coughing. "I'm hammered."

"Really? I never would've guessed with the way you're slurring."

He exhaled a deep breath in botheration. "L-Lila, this really isn't a good time for your sarcasm; could you come and pick me up, Jake's left me."

Rolling my head back, I quietly groaned. What is it with drunk guys telling me to pick them up?

"Fine. Tell me where you are."

By the time I reached where Isaac was, he was leaning against a tree with his jacket tightly done up. His hands were wedged in his pockets and his dirty blonde hair looked like he had ran his hands through it way too much.

"You owe me one, Isaac." I said, watching as he drunkenly smiled, dimples appearing on his cheeks.

"I do, thank you so much."

He took me by surprise when he stumbled forward and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly as I bit my tongue, my arms trapped at my sides.

"I don't if it's the way you're doing your hair these days, but you're really pretty."

Throwing his arm over my shoulder, I steered him towards my car, and smiled stiffly. "Thanks, you're not so bad yourself."

"You think?" he squeaked. "I wish you would've told me this when I still had a big crush on you."

My breath hitched in my throat and I stared up at him, my eyebrows shooting up to my hairline. "You had a big crush on me?"

"I still do," he shrugged honestly. "Kinda. I don't know." He looked down at me, quickly averting his gaze. "I'm not sure how I feel about you anymore. You and Matthew obviously have something going on, and I don't want to be that best friend who ruins a good friendship over a stupid crush."

"I'm not sure I understand what you're saying, Isaac." I responded, my voice surprising me as it came out as almost inaudible.

"What I'm saying is," he sighed. "I still have feelings for you, but they're not as strong as they used to be. And sometimes, the way you are with Matthew, I wish you were that way with me, but I'll never be Matthew... and you'll never like me that way."

"Isaac..."

He quickly shook his head. "Lila - I think you're amazing. Although nothing can ever happen between us two, which I'm okay with, you can make my best friend happy. I've seen the way he looks at you, it's been a long time since he's looked at a girl like that, ever since she broke his heart-"

"Who broke his heart?" I interrupted curiously, helping him into the seat.

He swept my question aside and continued with his sentence. "Despite his good looks, all girls ever think about is how Matthew is blind, and how that puts them off is beyond me. But, you don't seem to mind that and Matthew is such a great guy who deserves a great girl, like you."

"Isaac-"

He interrupted me once again, causing annoyance to brew within me. "Let me finish. When Matthew first moved here, I was over the moon because he's my best friend, but when I saw him with you at school, I got jealous and didn't speak to him for a while. I realise now that I was being selfish, but I hated the fact that you smiled when he was around, but not when I was around. I got jealous because I tried so many ways to actually talk to you, I guess that's why I flirted with you at Matthew's house."

All of a sudden, he lunged forward and pressed his lips to mine, pulling his hand from his pocket and resting his on my cheek. My eyes were wide as his eyes slowly closed, his lips moving against mine. "I-Isaac." I mumbled, placing my hands flats against this shoulders and pushing him gently. "Stop."

Sighing tiredly, he sat back in his seat and dragged a hand down his face. "I'm sorry, I just had to do that."

Taking into account he was drunk, I smiled apologetically. "It's fine, where do you live?"

He scratched his head, an expression similar to confusion appearing on his face. "Umm - a house?"

Rolling my eyes, I resorted to retrieving my phone from my pocket and dialling Matthew's number.

He picked up after a couple of rings, slight shuffling head on his end before he spoke. "Lila?"

"Uh, yeah. Sorry for waking you up." I responded sheepishly, glancing at Isaac who was drifting off to sleep. "Where does Isaac live?"

There was silence for a couple of moments. "Why do you want to know where Isaac lives?" he asked, discombobulated.

"He called me to pick him up because he's absolutely hammered." I decided not to tell him about what he was talking about, thinking that that was a conversation for another day.

Once Matthew told me his address, I shut my phone off, pulling out of Eric's driveway and driving towards Isaac's house.

After a fair amount of time, I reached my destination, shaking Isaac awake gently. "Are you going to be okay getting in; do you want me to help you?"

He sleepily shook his head and reached for his keys. "I don't want to wake up my dad. But, thank you for this, I owe you one."

He opened the door and almost instantly fell to the ground, a grunt falling off his lips. "On second thought, maybe you should help me."

Turning off the engine, I took my seatbelt off and walked to his side. Tucking my arms under his, I helped him get up, his tipsy state causing him to place more weight on his left side.

"Lila - about the kiss. It didn't mean anything, and I'm 100% sure if I was sober, I wouldn't have kissed you. I'm feeling kind of guilty, so I'll speak to Matthew tomorrow and tell him everything."

He stumbled over a rock, and nearly sent us flying until he caught himself at the last moment, gripping my arm tightly. "I hate getting drunk." He muttered, his eyes a pale blue colour. "The hangovers are a pain in the ass, and it doesn't help that I tend to be very honest when I'm drunk."

"I'm glad you were honest, though." I mumbled, watching fumble with his keys. "I'd want you to tell me this sort of stuff."

Finally getting his door open, Isaac retracted himself from me, lazily grinning at me. "So no hard feelings whatsoever."

I shook my head and smiled up at his 6ft 2 figure, ruffling his blonde hair. "No hard feelings. Just don't make it awkward at school."

He leaned against the door frame and yawned. "So we're still friends, then?"

I glanced at him and rolled my eyes. "Yes, we are still friends, Isaac."