[92] SURREAL

Listening to Clara blab for almost the trip, I finally realized. She wasn't just blabbing, there is a glimpse of truth right beneath her words.

Or maybe a glimpse of what I wanted to believe. Either way, why attack her when she was just trying to make me see reasons why she believed Steve and Christy weren't just fucking around but were actually fucking. Like his dick in Christy's vagina! Fuck! I can't bear to imagine that or to even describe how my inside feels. But one thing for sure the feelings ain't that of the good ones.

Everything Clara said explains some of the reasons why Steven has been refusing me since day one. Because he was getting it elsewhere. I mean look at them! Fuck! I bit my lips sadly. Why am I realizing this now? Why not sooner. Not now that I felt something for the first time in my life, I felt hurt and disappointed.

"Probably because you ain't his actual girlfriend". Clara snapped. Wtf was my thoughts that loud? I gaped.