There was a change in power. A change so clear that I knew he'd shifted. It had to be the first time since he met me because I'd never felt his wolf before. I had been standing by his door, waiting for him to emerge from his room so I could apologise.
I knew that I'd never take it as far as to go against the mate bond in that way. I could never bring myself to hurt anyone in that way, especially since I knew the consequences of being with someone not intended for you.
I didn't know how much longer I could hold myself back every time I was near him. I had tasted his lips twice and every encounter made me want him more than I did the time before. The attraction was through the roof, but he felt something else for me after what I so carelessly said.
Pure anger.
His wolf radiated anger as I heard the distinct sound of glass breaking and paws meeting the snow. It was a loud thud, which let me know without seeing him that his wolf was massive. It made me want to shift and compare our frames. Was he just as perfect looking in wolf form as he was as just Tristan?
It was a question left unanswered because, for the rest of the day, he didn't return. As soon as I felt him leave the grounds, I had opened the door to his room and surveyed the mess. Luckily, most of the glass broke in the direction that he jumped in, but a few small shards covered the floor.
I couldn't bring myself to clean it up and instead I climbed into his bed, pulling the covers over me and finding a sense of comfort in his scent. It wrapped around me when his arms wouldn't and helped me fall back asleep.
When I woke up the next morning, the room was freezing. I was disorientated for a few long moments until I remembered everything and looked towards the open window where all the cold was coming in from. It was as if I slept outside. His covers did nothing to keep me warm, and my state as part of a warm-blooded species only went so far. I shivered and looked out to the light morning sky, instantly reminded of his expressive eyes.
As much as I hated to admit it, I missed his presence and he hadn't even been gone an entire day. I trudged towards his walk-in closet, trailing my fingers over every rack before settling on one of his dark sweaters, pulling it on over my clothes. It helped in keeping me warm and minimised my longing for him, killing two birds with one stone.
I decided to freshen up before heading down to the kitchen. In the time that I'd been with him, meals were always prepared, but only when he was in the house. In the two weeks that he ignored me, the pantry and fridge were stocked but meals were never prepared unless I made it myself.
It felt like he was punishing me. I looked forward to bumping into whoever cooked his meals, but he always made sure that I didn't. I pondered on whether he was that cruel or not until I realised that he probably wanted me to feel so lonely that I'd have no choice but to turn to him.
How annoying.
The thought left my mind instantly when I reminded myself that I was the annoying one. I'd said something that most wouldn't forgive and if he had said that to me, I most likely would have never spoken to him again. Exile would be better than constantly having to worry if he was satisfying his needs elsewhere.
Pulling out the ingredients I needed for a carbonara, I started my music from my phone and began cooking my dinner. It was well into the morning at ten o'clock, but I was hungry after not eating much the day before so I made sure to make a hearty unusual meal for breakfast.
Before long, I plated my food and sat down at the island to eat it. If I tried hard enough, I'd be able to imagine Tristan sitting across from me, watching me in that intense way he always did, more preoccupied with me instead of his food. I sighed, forking more pasta into my mouth.
The house was getting unbearably cold so when I finished my meal, I placed my dishes in the sink, heading on a search for the thermostat. Houses in a foreign country were much harder to get used to so it took me a while until I figured out how to get the heating going. By that time, Tristan had still not returned.
I thought that I'd finally succeeded at pushing him away. Part of me was relieved that he no longer wanted me, but another part wondered why it had been so easy. Choosing to occupy my time with the television, I didn't realise how quiet it was until the programme finished.
The loneliness, like it did when he was ignoring me, hit its peak and I wanted to call my mother again just to hear her voice. I'd do anything to go back to my old pack, where things were familiar and I never felt lonely. I was going crazy with minimal human contact. I had to speak to someone other than Tristan because it seemed that every conversation we had ended up being a make-out session.
Make out sessions that always left me wanting more.
I didn't even entertain my thoughts as the door opened. My head snapped towards the door to watch the woman who walked into the house with a beaming grin on her face. Seeing the mark on her neck instantly eased any jealousy that arose at the thought that Tristan had done something unforgivable in his absence.
Her eyes fell on mine and she squealed in excitement. "I knew it! I absolutely knew it!" she exclaimed as she shut the door behind her and dropped the box she was carrying on the coffee table in front of me. "We've smelled you on him for the past couple weeks. I feel so honoured to be one of the first people to really know."
The blonde stared at me and I felt too shocked to see another human being that I couldn't say anything.
"I've freaked you out, haven't I?" she asked slowly, sighing. "I'm sorry—I tend to get excited over things like this, especially because Alpha Tristan has been a grouchy man for almost three weeks. I mean, you should've seen him yesterday, he was so angry that training was more violent than usual. And training is normally pretty violent since—"
I stared at her with wide eyes, unable to really focus on her rambling as she mirrored my expression.
She slapped a hand to her forehead. "You know what? I'm going to stop talking so much." She stuck her hand out. "I'm Brielle."
Overwhelmed by the fact that Tristan had listened to me and granted me this one wish, I threw my arms around Brielle and hugged her tight, wanting to make sure I wasn't just imagining her after going crazy. How cold her coat was was enough to tell me she was.
"I'm Kara. It's so nice to meet you!" I hugged her tighter. "I can't believe there are actually people here."
She wrapped her arms around me and grinned when I stepped back in embarrassment. "Of course there are people here. There are five hundred people on this side of the town alone. And wow, you are so beautiful. No wonder Alpha is keeping you from us."
I frowned at the reminder of Tristan. "Where is he?"
Brielle stopped in her movements to reach for the box. "Right now, I'm not sure. He told me to bring some movies for you to watch. They're classics and my favourite!"
While part of me desperately wanted to see Tristan so I could apologise, another was grateful that I could spend time with someone else. Brielle seemed like a nice person, and although she had a tendency to ramble, I welcomed it far more than the silence.
"How about The Breakfast Club?" she suggested, dropping down on the sofa with her legs crossed underneath her. She flipped the case over and showed me it. "Alpha Tristan is an old man at heart, which explains why he doesn't have Netflix like the rest of us. He hates technology and prefers to do everything himself."
Brielle laughed to herself before sliding the DVD into the player, pulling her coat off and walking to hang it up. She smelled like other wolves, which meant that the rumours weren't true; he didn't kill every single member of his pack. I was starting to believe that all the rumours were stupid and felt guilty that I was so quick to believe them.
They were being disproved at every turn, especially the ones about Tristan himself. If he did have it in him to kill his mate, I was sure I would have been dead already. What I did was worse than rejecting him—I'd given him a reason to distrust me when all he'd wanted since the day I met him was to give him a chance.
The movie began and I frowned at the screen. "What's he truly like?"
Brielle turned her head to me in confusion before realisation washed over her face. "You're the reason he was so angry." She sighed and gave me a small smile. "I can only guess what you've heard about him and the pack. But, he's a good man and an even better alpha. He'll always put others before himself—it's why neighbouring packs have accepted him. He always has our best interests at heart."
As she spoke about him, it was with this sense of admiration and made me realise that people could feel something other than hatred and fear for him. My eyes fell to the mark on her neck, it exuded power, but not enough to indicate she was mated to an alpha, which meant her mate was the beta. It made me more willing to speak truthfully.
"I don't feel like I belong here." Her eyes widened in surprise. "I didn't have a choice—it was either here or exile."
Her voice came out in a hesitant and hushed whisper. "And you don't want him as your mate?"
I frowned and brought my legs towards my chest, wrapping my arms around them for extra comfort. "I don't know what I want. When I used to think about my mate, he was the last person I expected."
Brielle stared at me for a long moment with a conflicted expression on her face. I wondered if she would hate if I told her what I thought of him. "Give him a chance. He's one of the most misunderstood of all the alphas. If there's one person who can truly get through to him—it's you."
I sighed at her words, feeling the connection between him and me pulse.
"I hurt him..." I admitted guiltily. "I've said such cruel things to him. I'm not sure if he wants to give me a chance anymore."
Brielle winced and I could tell that she could feel his pain even if I couldn't. Wolves were connected to their alphas on a spiritual level—whatever he felt, they felt too. My heart twisted at the thought that I'd hurt an entire pack in my determination to hurt him.
"I can't say if he'll forgive you or not, but you can only push him so far before he truly snaps. Don't rob him or yourself of the chance to feel true love."
I grimaced at the thought of letting him in. "Is it true love?"
Brielle smiled wryly and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "It can be—you're mates for a reason."
There was that word again. I rubbed at my temples because I was beginning to give myself a headache with all of my thoughts. One minute I wanted to jump his bones, the next I wanted to get as far away from him as possible, and a few minutes later I wanted him to hold me.
If that told me anything, it was that the mate pull was a difficult thing to fight.
I wasn't even concentrating on the film anymore. "Do you think you could call him for me?"
Brielle instantly listened to me, pulling out her phone from her pocket. "I mean, I can try. I'm not sure he has his phone on him. He doesn't tend to carry it when he's here."
I watched her dial his number and waited with bated breath as it rang...and rang...and rang. She offered me a sheepish smile. I sunk back into the chair, slightly disappointed.
"Is he here often? In the und—" I stopped myself from slipping up and cleared my throat. I had made a promise that I would give the pack a chance. I would hardly be keeping my side of the deal if I continued to entertain the rumours. "In Greenland."
She simply nodded. "He's here most of the time—he only ever leaves when he has to personally meet with another alpha. The last time he left was to finalise the alliance between our pack and Alpha Ramiel's of the North East." Her head tipped in my direction. "I'm guessing that was your old pack."
I squeezed myself tighter and nodded once.
Her lips lifted into a small smile. "I guess you're a symbol of the alliance. That proves you do belong here."
If she had picked up on my discomfort, she didn't say anything about it and chose to watch the film, or what was left since we had spoken through at least half of it. When lunchtime rolled around, he still hadn't returned so I'd divided what I'd left of the carbonara for him and handed one plate to Brielle.
I must have been accustomed to the silence because when she spoke, I was slightly surprised.
"This is really good, Luna."
The warmth spread across my face. "You can call me Kara. Luna is too much for me right now."
Her cheeks flushed red. "Right. Kara. Okay, got it." She placed her plate on the coffee table and checked the time. "Alpha Tristan should be here any time soon—I have to go." My gaze snapped to hers and I reached out to her. She took my hand and gave me a reassuring smile. "I'll be back, I promise. He can't keep me away now that I know that we have a Luna."
I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her into a warm hug. Her company was highly appreciated and it made me the happiest I'd felt since leaving home. I missed human contact.
She stood up and gathered her coat, gesturing to the DVDs that were stacked up in the box. "Don't watch any without me. I'll try swing by tomorrow if I'm not too busy." She gave me a warm smile and I could tell that I was warming up to her. "And Kara? Be nice to him."
I relented and nodded, receiving one more smile from her before she shut the door behind her. It was silent again, but my heart felt lighter. I knew exactly what I'd do when Tristan returned. He had listened to me even though I had hurt him. The guilt came back tenfold and I tangled my fingers in my curls, thinking of exactly what I'd say to him in my apology.
Another half-hour passed before the door opened, and when he walked into the house, I felt the ache in my chest relent. Even if I didn't want to admit it, I liked having him around. I stood up from the sofa and bunched up the long sleeves of his sweater in my palms.
He didn't say anything as he shut the door behind him, glancing at me. It didn't take a genius to figure out that he was being cold towards me. I truly deserved it after what I had said. And under the hostility that he exuded in his expression, I could see that what I had said truly wounded him.
My mouth went dry as I stared at him, the apology dying on my tongue. When it came to it, I couldn't think of what I wanted to say. So the opportunity passed and Tristan slowly walked upstairs. I waited a few minutes before following after him. He wasn't in his bedroom or mine, but I figured he had gone to the attic since there were stairs in the middle of the hallway.
I watched as he climbed down the steps with a large toolbox in his hand. When his shoes met the wooden floorboards of the hallway, he folded up the steps with one hand and closed the entryway.
"Tristan..." I uttered so quietly that I almost thought he didn't hear me, but he did, choosing to ignore me as he walked to his room, setting the toolbox down to open it.
He slid on heavy-duty work gloves as he slid the glass shards to the corner and pulled out a few things from the box. He began temporarily fixing the broken window as he covered the empty space with several layers of thick plastic tape. The window was wider than most windows and I briefly wondered if it was designed that way on purpose. Maybe he made it a habit to jump out of them.
Taping the plastic to the window, he continued to ignore my presence and I decided to just apologise anyway. I truly felt guilty and he deserved an apology.
"I'm sorry for hurting you, Tristan." My voice was small and quiet, but the silence in the room made sure that he could hear me loud and clear. He was taping the right-hand corner as I continued. "What I said was below the belt—I wasn't thinking. I was angry and said things that I would never do."
It didn't seem like he was listening because he continued to tear the tape with his teeth.
"I promised to save myself for my mate, and I always keep my promises."
Tristan's movements faltered and my heart lurched at the thought that I'd finally gotten through to him. It was already clear to me that I was his weakness and I forced away the smile that threatened to break out at the thought that he wouldn't be able to resist me.
Did I really have that effect on him?
I stared at the back of his head, at the silky strands that a day ago were between my fingers. I longed to feel them again, but I knew that I'd lose all composure if we ended up kissing again. All I had to was apologise and leave. Apologise and leave. I repeated it in my mind like a mantra.
"I feel terrible that I even said that to you. I hope you can forgive me for what I said."
The silence drifted between us and Tristan remained silent as he finished covering the window. He shut the toolbox and pulled the gloves from his hands. Hands that I desperately wanted on me. I knew it was time to leave when I almost went to embrace him.
I turned towards the door, almost there when I heard him sigh. My movements stilled and I held my breath, wanting him to say something. But after a long moment, he didn't say anything at all. I didn't know if I even deserved a response since it was entirely my fault that his feelings had been hurt in the first place.
I knew that if I hadn't managed to push him away, it was only a matter of time. But then, Brielle's words came to mind again. He was a misunderstood man, and if I continued to believe the rumours, I would add myself to the list of people who wrote him off before actually knowing him. Granted all of those people weren't his mate, I was. That had to mean something even if I didn't want it to.
I was halfway out of the door when I remembered to thank him. "I appreciate you letting me meet Brielle. It was really nice to have a woman around." I paused for a lengthy moment, hoping he'd say something.
But when he didn't, I went to pull the door closed behind me.
"You gave Brielle a chance—do the same for me and I'll know that your apology was truthful."
I didn't look back, but I contemplated exactly what he was asking. I'd be a fool not to listen to those around me, and since Brielle had spoken to me about him...it made me want to know Tristan—the real him.
Tilting my head to the side, I nodded once and that was the second-ever compromise with him.