Eikosieksi [ 26 ]

I sensed him as soon as I got back to the house. 

It was silent save for the sound of the heating keeping everything warm, but I knew he was there. My mark pulsed and I could feel the ache in my heart subside slightly. The desperation I felt in my heart was immense. I was desperate to be near him again—so much so that I had run straight from the training field and didn't even look back once. 

Pulling off my jacket, I draped it over the back of the sofa before kicking my shoes off and bounding up the stairs with a sense of urgency I had never felt before. With every step closer to the closed bedroom door, I was consumed by him. His scent was strong yet the grief rolled off him in waves. I got caught up in the tide, almost not able to breathe as I opened the door and stepped in. 

His broad shoulders were hunched over as he placed his elbows on his thighs and gripped the silky strands of hair in between his fingers. He was still dressed in the same clothes from the day before, but he had discarded his suit jacket to be left in his white dress shirt and black trousers. 

The slim black tie was loose around his neck and even though he didn't look up as I entered the room, I noticed his shoulders straightening out slightly. 

It was like I would combust into a thousand particles if I didn't touch him soon. "Tristan?" I softly called out his name, falling to my knees in front of him and lightly gripping his forearms. 

A sigh fell from his lips and I craned my head to try and meet his gaze. My chest tightened at his bloodshot eyes and his dark eyelashes lined heavy with tears. There was a sense of shock that filled me at the thought that his pain was strong enough to bring him to tears.

I knew at that moment, I had never seen a man so strong. 

"Tristan. I'm here, okay?" I squeezed his arms gently and pulled his hands from his hair to softly kiss his knuckles. I leaned closer to him so he could feel my warmth. "I promise I won't leave your side."

The silence weighed heavy in the air and when he broke it, his voice was strained and raw. So raw that it was like his pain was still an open wound—never healing and never less painful. "Your mother visited his grave…did you go with her?" he closed his eyes and his jaw tightened. 

I shook my head vehemently. "No. I swear I didn't."

"He's your father." He murmured lowly and I didn't know if he was taking it in again or stating it as a fact. 

"That man isn't anything to me, Tristan." I choked up, feeling the emotion come back to me tenfold. "But I understand if y-you don't want me anymore—"

In an instant, he wrenched his hands from my grip and lifted his head. Before I could gasp at his rugged appearance, he gripped my chin tightly and gave me a bruising kiss. His mouth was unrelenting against mine and my lungs burned for air. 

When he pulled back, his nose pressed against mine and there was a spark of anger in his fiery blue eyes. "Don't you ever think I don't want you, Kara. Do you understand me?" His fingers tightened almost painfully when I didn't immediately answer. 

"Yes." I gasped, gulping down the anxiety I had felt for the past twenty-four hours. "I-it's just you never came home and when I felt your pain…" I reached up to grip his shirt in my hands, right where his heart beat in his chest. "I thought I caused it after I promised to never hurt you again."

His grip loosened and the pain was back in his azure eyes again. "I needed to think. At first, I was angry, but not at you." He shook his head softly. "Never at you. And then today came and it was too much for me to handle."

I watched him break down slowly. First, he exhaled shakily and then his lip trembled. I quickly stood up and cradled his face in my hands before he tugged me onto his lap, gripping my shirt tightly as a raw sob racked his strong form. He buried his head in my chest, his shoulders shaking as his arms wrapped around my body and held onto me for dear life.

His guard was down completely. He bared his soul to me and pressed himself so tightly against me, it was like he wanted us to be one. My arm wrapped around his shoulder as my other hand caressed his hair gently. The floodgates had burst and he cried into my chest, soaking my shirt with his painful tears. 

They expelled the pain deep in his heart and he found solace in my embrace when his sobs dwindled into low and tired moans. I held him against me through it all, having a new sense of admiration for him. 

His shoulders were weighted with the responsibility of hundreds of people and add to that his own hardships, he brought a whole new meaning to the word strong. He was unlike anyone I had ever met. 

Something deep within me sparked a need to help him with everything. Alphas' mates were arguably the most important key to running a pack successfully. Tristan led excellently and kept everyone together. But who held him together? He had gone through six years of sole leadership and before that had to experience a war full of death and misery. 

He didn't deserve any of it. 

Pulling his head back, I pressed my lips to his forehead then his eyelids, down the slope of his nose, his tear-stained cheeks and finally his lips. Kissing him tenderly, I caught the remnants of his shaky breaths, cradling his face in my hands. "I'll never let you go through this alone, Tristan." I wiped his tears away as the pain etched on his face struck a chord of sadness through my chest. "Let me take care of you."

Gently untying his tie, I placed it on the silk pillows and slowly lifted myself off him. He gripped onto my shirt and the vulnerability in his eyes scared me. It was like he trusted me wholeheartedly. He didn't care that he was meant to be the Alpha Tristan. At that moment, he was just Tristan—the man behind the 'beast' and the one everyone misunderstood.

Grabbing onto his hand, I pulled him up with me and stared up at him. "I'm not leaving your side." I murmured before he threaded his fingers through my curls and lowered his lips to mine. 

I pulled away after a few moments and tugged on his hand, turning around and leading him into the adjoined bathroom. Our fingers remained linked as I ran the water, filling up the bathtub before facing him again. He was silent as I reached up and began unbuttoning his shirt. 

He watched me carefully and when I pushed the material off his wide shoulders, a small, barely-there smile made its way onto his face. I knew he relished in any sort of affection I showed him and I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't hold back anymore. I reached for his belt and glanced up at him to see if it was okay. 

Nodding his head, I took his belt off and allowed him to take off his remaining clothes as I finished preparing his bath. The suds stayed on my palm as I ran a hand through the water, testing its temperature before Tristan lowered himself into it. Kneeling by the bath, I watched as he leaned his head back, closing his eyes as his Adam's apple bobbed.

Threading my fingers through his hair, I leaned over and gently pressed my lips to his temple. I stayed there for a lengthy moment, breathing in his scent before I pulled back. 

He tilted his head and opened his eyes slightly. "Get in here, Kara."

My face warmed as I shook my head. "This is about you. I'm taking care of you."

A sense of longing filled his eyes. "Keep your clothes on or don't but I need to hold you, αγάπη—I need to feel close to you." His voice was rough but his words were tender. I couldn't deny him if I tried. 

For a few moments, I watched him in silence before nodding my head. With shaky hands, I stripped off every article of clothing that I had on and he kept his eyes on mine the entire time. The edge of the bathtub was cold as I pressed a hand against it to help me lower myself into the water. It was big enough for the both of us and before I could say anything, he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me against him. 

My head rested against his shoulder as he cupped my chin from behind and slanted his lips over mine. His kiss was gentle and caring and his nose pressed against my cheek as he inhaled my scent. "You're so beautiful, Kara. And perfect." He kissed me again roughly. "So fucking perfect."

I felt him against the small of my back and I shuddered in his arms. "I'm not perfect, Tristan. I'm far from it."

He shook his head adamantly. "You are. You thought I didn't want you but you came to me just so I wouldn't feel alone. You put me first and I can count on one hand how many people have done that for me." He stroked my cheek softly and linked our fingers together with his other hand. 

I kissed the back of his hand. "I'm just happy you still want me." My voice was small and I faced forward again. "I was so scared, Tristan."

He buried his face in the back of my hair. "None of it matters to me, Kara. He left you and your mother and as bad as this sounds, I'm glad he did. He was cruel to his own mate, and if he stayed with you." He released a shaky breath, holding me tighter. "I can't imagine what you would've gone through."

I felt the tears spring to the surface and I leaned further into him, squeezing his hand as I closed my eyes. He was right. I couldn't imagine what my childhood would have been like if I was raised by such a cruel monster. 

Twisting my upper body, I pulled his face closer to mine and rested my forehead against his. His eyes were still bloodshot and I frowned lightly. "I think you can. You've experienced pain like nobody I've ever met. What do you need from me to make it feel better?" I settled my hand over his heart and felt the organ pump his blood quickly as I felt what he felt. 

It wasn't lust—it was more than that. 

"I need you, Kara." His voice was still raw and that solidified the fact that he did. Something had changed in our relationship, and suddenly I knew it was the right time. "I don't want to spend the day alone again. I need all of you."

I nodded my head, breathing in his scent as I brushed my thumb across his cheekbone. Wordlessly, he pulled me up with him, a firm arm around my waist as he reached for a towel on the rack. Water dripped from his muscular body as he wrapped the black towel around me, tipping my chin up as he pressed a kiss to my lips. 

Once a towel was secured around his hips, he tucked an arm behind my legs and lifted me into his arms. His shoulders were strong and I flattened my hands against the muscles that flexed under his skin, lifting my gaze to his. 

His eyes seemed slightly lighter and he walked us back into the bedroom. With a gentleness that starkly contrasted his rough demeanour, he laid me on the bed and framed my face with his hands. For what felt like minutes, he simply stared at me almost reverentially. 

When I finally pulled his face to mine again, the blood rushed in my ears and I could acutely feel the way my heart thumped strongly in my chest. His hands brushed against the hem of the towel, gripping it softly as the tip of his nose pressed against mine. I closed my eyes. 

"Look at me." He softly whispered. "Look at me, baby." I opened my eyes and a soft smile pulled at his lips. "You're everything to me, Kara. This is everything to me."

I smiled softly at him and caressed his face. "I know." And with that, I kissed him.