Sarantatessera [ 44 ]

The bloodlust hit me for the first time ever in my life. I gritted my teeth at the pain that flowed through my head and propped myself up on Tristan's chest. 

My fingers gripped his chin gently and I laid my eyes on his stormy blue ones. He seemed like a force to be reckoned with and I leaned in closer. "I've never felt this angry before, Tristan. I've never wanted to have someone's blood on my hands until she tried to kill me."

Tristan had a faraway look in his eyes as his lips curled with a menacing snarl. "I haven't felt this angry since I killed Møller and Carew." I could feel the fury in his heart and he seemed consumed by it. His face was darkened by the lust for revenge. 

I had never seen him so angry, and suddenly, I realised exactly why he was called the King of the Underworld. His bloodlust was all-consuming and he seemed determined to bring Mindy to her death. It was a stark contrast to the attentive and loving mate he was but I soon realised that his anger was as a result of the love he had for me. 

It burned like a scorching flame and his love was the fuel. 

"Take me to her."

His gaze focused on me and his dark eyebrows pulled in. "I'm not doing that until you get better. I don't trust her."

The frustration within multiplied and he gently slid out from under me to sit up. "What's going to happen to her?" I stared at his back as he swore under his breath and dropped his head into his hands. 

"Death is too easy, Kara." He turned his head and it seemed like he wanted to leave the hospital room and make Mindy regret what she said. "I want her to suffer for what she did. She wanted to derail the six years of progress I made with this pack." His voice lost its biting edge and turned soft. "All the progress I've made with you."

Intense blue eyes met mine and my heart constricted in pain. I knew that Mindy hadn't only affected me. Tristan was in pain and I was beginning to feel it too. There were too many emotions at once and I didn't know how to deal with them. 

Forcing myself onto my knees, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders from behind and nuzzled my nose into the crook of his neck. I breathed in and tried my hardest to calm down. His hand curled around my arm and he sighed. 

He was hot because of his anger and I kissed his skin softly. "She won't get away with it. We won't let her." I pressed my cheek against his and he squeezed my arm. I tried to calm us both down when I spoke again quietly. "I want blood too. We're going to get it together."

Tristan leaned back into me for a lingering moment before he tilted his body slightly, setting his hands gently on my hips. He pulled me across his lap and levelled his gaze with mine. His anger slowly cooled and his icy demeanour melted away as he stared down at me. 

"Together…" he whispered almost inaudibly. "I like the sound of that. I didn't think we'd be like that ever again."

I linked my fingers together behind his neck. "It's going to take a lot more than a stab wound to take me away from you. I'd fight to be with you—always."

His anger towards Mindy was completely forgotten as he slowly smiled. "I love you, Kara. With all my heart."

I only felt one emotion because of those words. Happiness in its purest form. Tristan's love was quite literally my lifeline and I knew my life had found a whole new meaning since I fell in love with him. He lowered his head and went to kiss me when the door quietly opened. 

Our gazes turned and there a nurse stood, a tray of food in her hands and the same sense of relief on her face that Nuka had when she looked at me. 

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Alpha. Luna." She smiled slightly and stepped closer into the room. "I thought you'd be hungry. You can eat now."

I mustered up a smile and she placed the tray on the foot of the bed before leaving the room. I couldn't sit up properly on my own without my abdomen hurting so Tristan helped me onto my back before pressing a button to raise the bed up. 

Wincing slightly, I took the tray from his hands and glanced at the bowl of chopped up fruit. I went straight for the mangoes and looked to Tristan when he exhaled deeply. He seemed different somehow and at that moment, I put my feelings aside and focused on him. 

"When was the last time you ate, Tristan?"

He stilled and his lips parted as he pondered over my question for a moment that was too long for my liking. "I don't know, Kara. I haven't left your side unless I've had to."

I immediately frowned and swallowed my mouthful. "Come here." I spoke gently, digging for a strawberry, his favourite fruit, and holding it out to him. He stared at me for a moment before leaning forward and taking it into his mouth. As I gave him all of the strawberries and some mangoes, I smiled. 

Even if it was just for a moment, I liked taking care of him for a change. I couldn't feel his pain when I was unconscious but since waking, I felt the ache in his chest. It was a whole lot easier for me to focus on his feelings than my own. 

"I want you to look after yourself, Tristan. Please get yourself a proper meal." I implored him solemnly to eat properly. He could eat enough to feed a small village and I knew that the fact that he couldn't even remember when his last meal was, was a bad sign. I lifted my other hand and raked my fingers through his hair. "Have the rest of the fruit."

He shook his head, pushing the bowl back towards me. "No. You need to eat and get your strength back, αγάπη. I'm not leaving you alone just to eat."

I sighed and backed down slightly. We could have went in circles but I knew Tristan better than to argue with him about something he was adamant on.

Quietly eating the rest of the fruit, I placed the tray on the bedside table. I felt stronger already and despite the pain that was coursing through me, I felt somewhat like myself again. And only physically because my emotional state of mind was a whole other story. 

I didn't feel like myself emotionally, and that was to be expected. I had almost died so I was one hundred per cent sure that I would never be the same person again. Not only did I feel so many emotions at once, but I also didn't know how to block it out. It felt like a rollercoaster and if I felt like that, I knew the pack did too. 

They would only ever feel my emotions, one if it was to do with pack matters and two if it was so strong that even I couldn't control it. They could feel my anger because it was directed towards Mindy and this sort of anger was unpredictable. I didn't like what it was doing to me. 

I had never once thought about killing anyone but the thought of watching the life fade away in Mindy's eyes brought me a sense of deep satisfaction. My heart turned cold when I thought of her and I wanted her to be my first kill. If fate dealt me favourable cards, she would be my last. 

"Kara!" The door burst open and in came my mother with Matthijs right behind her. She, like Tristan, looked tired as if she hadn't slept a wink. Relief flooded through her and she quickly approached the side of my bed, reaching for my hand. "Honey, I'm so happy you're awake. I was worried sick!"

I squeezed her hand and leaned up slightly to wrap my other arm around her. I hugged her as tightly as I could and closed my eyes as I spoke. "I'm okay, Mum."

She caressed the back of my head like she used to when I was a little girl and I sighed into her shoulder. When I was unconscious, I felt her do that and it comforted me. It brought back a sense of familiarity from my childhood where everything was sunshine and roses. 

"How do you feel, kiddo?" Matthijs' fatherly concern shone through his tone as I pulled away from my mother to meet his gaze. His grey eyes were stormy and I could tell he cared about me deeply. 

"A lot better than when I first woke up but still in pain." I forced a smile onto my face and he stepped forward to take my other hand. "I'm really happy to see you two."

"Not as happy as we are to see you." My mother chimed in. "I'm sorry this happened to you, Kara."

I quickly forced my emotions down. "It's not your fault, Mum. And anyway, all that matters is that I'm still alive." When I caught the eye contact between Tristan and Matthijs, an idea sparked in my mind. "Can I speak to Matthijs alone please?"

My mother glanced at the two men in the room before settling her curious gaze on me. I kept the ghost of a smile on my face and turned to Tristan, who seemed like he didn't want to go anywhere. I knew he would never want to let me out of his sight again but I needed him preoccupied for what I wanted to do. 

My mother's grip on my hand loosened and she nodded as she took a step back. Tristan, however, stayed rooted in his place simply staring at me. 

"It won't be for long, I promise."

He reluctantly conceded. "I'm going to be right outside, okay?" he uttered out, standing up and dropping a kiss on my forehead. Standing outside would defeat the purpose of me asking them to leave since they would be able to hear everything I wanted to say anyway. 

"No." I shook my head, glancing at my mother. "You both look like you haven't been able to stomach anything for the past two days. You know I'm okay now so get something to eat."

Tristan sighed but I knew that after eating some of my fruit, he was starting to feel the hunger that his anxiety had forced him to ignore. Instead of settling for just a forehead kiss, he lowered his head and pressed his lips to mine. 

It was a tame kiss since my parents were in the room and he pulled back with a small frown on his face. The attachment he felt towards me had multiplied tenfold and although I loved him clinging to me, it was the one time where I needed to be alone. 

I leaned back in to lock my lips with his, and almost deepened the kiss when my fingers threaded into the hair at the back of his head. I spoke in his mind next. 'You need your strength just as much as I do. Matthijs is here with me, I'll be okay until you come back.'

He closed his eyes briefly and sighed again before standing up properly. "Okay."

I waited until I heard their footsteps leading away from my room to address Matthijs again. He seemed curious and took a seat on the edge of my hospital bed. 

"Would you do anything to make me happy?"

He nodded instantly, reaching for my hand again. "Of course I would, sweetheart."

I nodded and felt relieved that I could count on him. I couldn't just lay in my hospital bed feeling weak when Mindy was most likely feeling proud that she had managed to almost kill me. She hated me even more than before but the feeling was definitely mutual. I had to do something. 

I wanted to give her a fate worse than death, and as I was officially the Luna, I had the power to do so. 

"Take me to see Mindy. A conversation with her is long overdue."