Sarantaeksi [ 46 ]

"Tristan…"

His fingers clasped mine tightly and he didn't say a word when we passed the Hounds and they closed the door behind us. I could no longer ignore my pain and I felt my limbs weaken before he lifted me into his arms. 

I gritted my teeth at the dull stabbing pain that surged through my stomach and wrapped my arm around his neck. I rested my head on his shoulder and inhaled his scent to distract myself. He climbed up the stairs effortlessly and when we reached the exit, he gently placed me on my feet. 

I gripped onto his jacket until he wrapped my arms around his neck instead. His intense blues stared into mine as he unzipped his jacket and pulled it off his body. 

"Put my jacket on, Kara." His voice was deep and somewhat tense. 

He helped me into his jacket and zipped it up, gently pulling my hair from inside it. His fingers dug into my curls and the frustration filled his eyes. He sighed harshly and scanned my features for a long moment. 

"Don't be mad at me, Tristan…or Matthijs. I made him leave the room too." My palm slid against the dark stubble on his cheek and I kept his gaze on mine. "I had to do this."

His fingers curled around my wrist and he pulled my hand away from his face. The silent treatment continued as he lifted me into his arms again. I didn't take my eyes off him but he stared straight ahead as he walked us through the snow.

Instead of walking back to the hospital like I expected him to, he headed to our house. I recognised the familiar scenery and when we passed through the unguarded gates, he sighed as if he remembered where the Hounds were and why we had just seen them. 

He opened the door and the first thing I noticed was both our scents were fading. I knew that while I was unconscious, Tristan had rarely stepped foot back into the house. He had been with me as much as he could have been. The frown pulled at my lips as I continued to stare at him, seeing his unmoved face. 

I could feel his array of emotions and I focused on them so as not to focus on my own. He was definitely mad at me. I didn't say anything as he laid me down on the sofa, pulling back and walking to the kitchen. I thought of what to say when I heard the kitchen tap running. 

Tristan returned with a glass of water in his hand and a painkiller tablet in the other. I sat up as best as I could and took them from him, thanking him with a small smile. He stared at me in silence as I swallowed and I was slowly getting uncomfortable. 

"Tristan—say something…"

He took a seat on the coffee table in front of me and his jaw tightened. "What you did was reckless, Kara."

I placed the glass cup on the floor. "I know."

"And dangerous."

I sighed. "I know."

"And stupid. She could've hurt you again and if the Hounds hadn't told me where you were, I would've lost it again, Kara." His tone was one of fear and frustration. "Imagine how terrified I was when they told me. If I make a decision for you, it's for a reason."

My gaze dropped to my lap and I fumbled with my fingers, wringing my hands and squeezing hard as the Pandora's box in my mind threatened to open. It threatened to unleash all the turmoil I was suppressing in my head. 

I didn't know what else to do but apologise. I was quiet when I spoke. "I'm sorry, Tristan."

He sighed and kneeled in front of me. "Please don't scare me like that again, αγάπη. I know what you wanted to do but we do these things together, not behind each other's backs, okay?" his tone softened and he lightly gripped my chin to my bring my gaze back to his. 

His eyes looked like a vast ocean filled with love, and with the dark waves of my emotions threatening to pull me under, I decided to dive headfirst into what I felt for Tristan. He closed the distance between us and moulded his lips to mine. 

The kiss was comforting but it didn't distract me from the pain for long and I pulled back with a wince. My visit to Mindy didn't do me any favours, physically. My legs ached from the standing up and my stitches were beginning to throb again. 

Tristan watched me carefully and tucked an errant curl behind my ear. "You need to rest, baby. Get your strength back before you do anything else."

I didn't have the energy to protest and nodded as I slowly laid back down on the sofa. He stood up and retrieved a blanket from the cupboard under the stairs, covering my body with it. As much as I wanted him to hold me again, there wasn't enough space and I knew I didn't want to move anymore. 

"Are you going to sleep too?"

He cracked a small smile and shook his head. "I need to check in with the pack. I'll check on you in half an hour okay?" he leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead. 

I smiled softly and my eyes slowly fluttered closed. Soon enough, I fell into an uncomfortable sleep with a heavy heart I didn't think I could ignore for much longer. 

—————

When I woke up, the house was warm and Tristan's scent lingered everywhere. It finally felt like our house again and I looked around the living room for any sign of him. I honed in on my hearing and heard him talking quietly in his office. 

The blanket was tangled with my legs and I kicked it off as I slowly sat up. I felt more tired after my nap and I sighed forlornly as I pushed myself up from the sofa. I walked towards the stairs and gripped the bannister as I climbed up, grimacing from the pain. 

I had made it to the adjoining bathroom in Tristan and I's bedroom when I heard him stop talking. Locking the door behind me, I flicked the tap open and lifted my gaze to stare at myself in the mirror. The frown instantly pulled at my lips as I took in my appearance. 

My curls weren't as defined as they usually were and while I knew it was because I hadn't had the time to do my hair routine, I saw it as a reminder of how weak I was. I looked rough and my cheeks lacked the vibrancy it had before the stabbing. 

I wished I would heal faster so I could go back to being myself—the Kara who didn't know pain and went through the day somewhat carefree. 

My gaze dropped to the hem of my top and I hesitated before taking it between my fingers, lifting it up to reveal my bandage. A shaky breath tumbled from my lips as I peeled it from my skin. The shocked gasp sounded quietly through the bathroom and just like that, the Pandora's box opened. 

I could no longer hold everything back and the tears rushed to the surface quicker than I wanted it to. The sob tore from my throat and I stuck the bandage back to my skin, unable to look at the reddened stitches. My hands trembled as I gripped the basin tightly and squeezed my eyes shut. 

I felt every single emotion at once, from shock to anguish—deep anguish that convinced me that I was no longer the Kara I had once been. It was so strong that I was sure Tristan felt it. 

His footsteps reverberated through the quiet hall and the doorknob rattled as he tried to open the door. I quickly closed the tap and bit harshly down into my bottom lip to control my sobs. 

"Kara?" his voice was soft and full of worry. "Open the door, αγάπη μου."

I held myself up until I leaned heavily on the basin. The thing about trying to stop crying was that it was often counter-intuitive. I whimpered and glanced at the door with teary eyes. I couldn't bring myself to move and I heard Tristan's attempts to unlock the door himself before he somehow managed it. 

The door opened and I dropped my head, feeling my hair shield my face as he quickly came beside me. He delicately moved my hair behind my shoulder and curled his hand around the back of my neck. 

As soon as he touched me, the floodgates burst and my body shook as I broke down. The pained sob fell from my lips and he pulled me into his embrace as I gripped onto him tightly. My heavy heart pulled me towards the floor and he held me against the cold tiles as I cried into his chest. 

My entire body ached and that only made me cry harder. I had been holding in all my emotions from the moment I had regained consciousness and I could no longer control them. My tears soaked his shirt and he stroked my hair gently, tightly pressing his lips to my hairline. 

"I've got you, Kara. I've got you, you're okay." He murmured quietly, kissing my skin again and again as he tried to stop me from shaking so violently. "We're going to get through this together, αγάπη. You're not alone."

My hands tightened around his shirt and I spoke through my cries. "I a-almost di-died."

I cried harder and he cupped my cheek, lifting my head from his chest. His gaze coaxed my eyes open and I blinked through the tears to see his heartbroken expression. The tip of his nose pressed against mine and he whispered against my lips. 

"But you pulled through. You came back to me." His forehead rested against mine and I gulped back my tears. "You're going to heal and you're going to be happy again—I promise."

"Tell me you love me…" I whispered back, brokenly. 

Not even a beat of silence passed before he answered. "I love you, Kara—I will always love you."

I hugged him tightly and buried my face in the crook of his neck, taking in his scent to calm myself down. He murmured the sentiment over and over again and I knew that I could always count on him to make me feel safe. 

My wound was long forgotten and we sat on the bathroom floor for what felt like an hour. It was completely silent and he held me through it all.

If there was anything I knew, it was that Tristan kept his promises and if he promised me happiness, I had to trust it would work out somehow.