Opening Story - 007

The Mother's Order, as Tayla put it, is a religious order that worships the Earth, which she calls Our Mother. Hearing that, I couldn't help but think to myself that it is some cult after all.

She continues on, explaining to me that the followers of the Mother's Order call themselves 'faithful children', and in return for their faith, the Mother grants them power. They also believe that the Mother has a grand vision – a path forward, that they say is their duty as the faithful children, to ensure is seen through.

It doesn't seem too complicated, and it sounds appealing enough to some, I'm sure. Wanting to have a duty, a greater purpose to partake in, I think is something common among a number of people throughout the world.

Myself included.

Though I don't think religion is where I will end up focusing my own efforts. I'm an atheist.

Tayla's family became involved in the Mother's Order starting with her sister. Her older sister was ill. Not ill as in she had a cold, but an illness that she had had her whole life. The kind of illness that cripples you for life, and eventually kills you. A faithful child of the Order was able to help that sister. She wasn't saved, of course they weren't able to save her, but they were able to alleviate her pain before she passed away, and Tayla's family was grateful for that. And so, they became immersed in the Order.

After she finished explaining that to me, we started walking back the way we came. We weren't going back to my home, but rather to Tayla's. It wouldn't feel right to leave her at this point. I'll walk her back to her house, then I'll be on my own way back home.

"Hey, Alexander…" Tayla begins again.

"I still don't really understand. Why are you being so kind to me? Is there some reason to it?"

Reason. Yes, there is definitely a reason.

But I don't want to tell her about all that. I mean, we may have spent the last twelve hours or so together, but she is still practically a stranger to me.

I don't want to get into the dark secrets that are what I left behind.

"I guess you could call it self-improvement," I reply, "I just did what I felt like doing. I could give you any excuse like that, but I don't really know myself. I guess I just want to change myself. Improve myself, or something. I don't really know yet."

I do know. That's exactly what it is, no question about it. I want to improve myself, to feel better about myself, and become a better person.

To do that, I think that I need to be kind and honest to people.

Though if I said that out loud, I can only see myself being ridiculed for it.

Watching Tayla, as she mulls over my answer, I start to think that maybe she understands some of what I'm thinking, even without me saying it. She really is smart.

"So basically, you're having an identity crisis, and are getting me, a stranger, involved."

Talk about straight to the point! She's left me no room for a comeback! How am I supposed to play the straight man in these conditions?

Because there's nothing I can say that, because she's entirely correct. I hadn't thought about it that way, but from her perspective, I guess that's how it comes across. And in a way she is right.

I'm just using her for my own selfish reasons. For my own self-justification. That's how I used to think about everything. But maybe I just can't escape that frame of mind.

"Sorry, you're completely right. I just… I wanted to save myself. It wasn't that I came to your aid to try and save you last night, I was just trying to save my own soul. Sorry."

"Wow… I didn't really think anyone would ever admit to something like that."

"Sorry, was that disgusting? I'm just trying to be honest."

"No, it's fine. In fact, you could even say it's admirable, but… I guess in a way, it's strange. That's probably what a lot of people who would do that think. I guess no 'normal' person would do that. It would take someone who, like you, acts selfishly, or someone who for one reason or another, knows no other way, but to act."

Someone who for one reason or another, knows no other way, but to act.

That's a strange way to put it. I don't know if I've ever met anyone like that.

"I think people like that only exist in stories," I tell her.

"Maybe. Or at least, I don't think I've ever met anyone that incredible."

Yes, she's right.

Someone who could live their life like that would be incredible. There's no way they could live in this mediocre world of ours.

"Anyway," she continued on, "don't you have to go to school or something?"

Why would I? I almost reply like that, before I remember that it probably would be reasonable to assume that I should be going to school. Today is a Monday, after all.

And so, as a teenager, what else should I be doing, other than going to school? The thought of that is a little depressing.

And in any case, couldn't I ask her the same thing?

"I don't go to school," I reply.

Which is true. If I'd said I wasn't enrolled at any school, that would be a lie, however. I doubt that I've been unenrolled from the school I was attending in Wellington at any rate.

"Really? You must be older than I thought."

"I'm not really."

"Hmm?"

"I didn't graduate or anything. I'm just sixteen."

"So, you're a dropout?"

"I guess so…" I say somewhat dejected, though I have no reason to be. That is exactly what I am after all. A dropout and a failure, by all the standards of our society.

"Oh… I didn't mean anything bad by that," Tayla replies, as if sensing my dejected nature, "being both a dropout and a delinquent gives you quite the air of a 'cool' guy. Yes, very 'cool' indeed."

"Did you just call me a delinquent? And what's with the air quotes around cool?"

"Well you must be a delinquent. What other reason would you have for being around that late at night?"

"Didn't you see my work uniform?!"

I almost shouted that last line at her.

And in any case, wasn't she also awake at that time of night? I suppose she's already told me her reason for that. That cult, or whatever it was called.

The Mother's Order.

I realised then that I'd ended up revealing quite a bit about myself without meaning too. In fact, I'd purposefully been avoiding telling people about myself, and yet I just carelessly told her a couple of things. Nothing linking me back to Wellington, but still.

I wonder if she coaxed that out of me on purpose.

"So, what school do you attend?" I ask her.

"Northside Girls High, second-year," she replies, "don't worry though. I'm old enough for my year that when I take you to court, they'll probably go easy, and only charge you with sexual assault, and not paedophilia."

"And I'll charge you with perjury!"

Tayla wasn't at all like this last night, or this morning even. I wonder if this means that she's recovered. That this is what she's usually like. When she's just being herself. I wonder.

She has a sharp mind and tongue. This barrage of insults directed my way… I can't say I really mind. If anything, I'm having a lot of fun talking to her like this.

"So, that makes you fifteen then?" I say.

"He just confirmed I'm younger than him… he really must be into younger girls after all, admitting something like that in the middle of court."

"Are we in the middle of court?!"

"No, but we might as well be. They're always watching."

"Who's watching? I didn't think we had such an oppressive justice system in New Zealand!"

"Incredibly oppressive," Tayla nodded, "a very high conviction rate, as well."

I guess that means in her mind, I'm as good as imprisoned for sexual assault at this point. Though I guess the charge of paedophilia has been dropped.

"With new information coming to light, however, the charge of paedophilia might not be dropped."

"What new information?"

"Well you did ask me for my age, to confirm that I was indeed younger than you."

"Your probably less than a year younger than me. That can't count as paedophilia. I don't believe it. You even said yourself that I wouldn't be charged with paedophilia, and only with sexual assault, because of how similar our ages were!"

"So, you admit to sexual assault?"

Guh. I guess I did. Though nothing like that ever happened!

I swear that I will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!

"In any case, putting aside your affection for younger girls-"

"I don't have any!"

"-do you want to go on a date with me?"