Tayla Story - 008

Despite all of Elis' effort, I couldn't take her advice and get it off my mind. I didn't even take in what we were learning in class; I just can't make out a word that the teacher is saying.

At least she calmed me down enough that I could stay in the class, however. Not that I was in a state to learn anything, but I wasn't losing anything against my attendance record.

Alexander… I want to believe in him. That he really is the man that I know, that I can trust him, that he's going to be coming back soon.

I really miss him.

Even if Kayla hadn't come, I think I would've become a mess sooner rather than later. I've barely been holding it in recently. I knew he would be gone a week, maybe a little longer, but it's been over four now. Especially with how dangerous it's been up there (I heard that a lot of people died in rioting), I was getting a little worried that he was stuck somewhere. Or perhaps even that his father had convinced him to stay.

Alexander hates his father, and hasn't seen him for over seven years, but perhaps he was still convinced or coerced to stay one way or the other. I mean they are family, after all.

That must be the reason that his father asked him to leave and come to the moon to see him. Because he wants him back. I don't know why his father would want him back now, but surely that's the reason. It has to be.

And so, I'm worried that he isn't coming back. That he's abandoned me.

All of that, I was dealing with even before Kayla arrived. And now, that's just put even more of this onto me. This feeling that I'm lost. That I don't know anything about the person who's the most important in my life. It's indescribable. I can't say anything beyond it's horrible. It makes me feel hollow inside.

I did my best to keep it all out of my mind, as Elis had suggested, but I just couldn't. I wanted to go home, but I couldn't. I didn't want to see Kayla if I could help it; that would just make it worse. Though eventually I reasoned that I would end up seeing her again at the end of the day, so it didn't matter whether I saw her now or then, I would still see her.

So, at lunch break, I left the school through one of the smaller entrances that the teachers don't bother guarding, and left. Walking home, I had nothing to do but think, and so I thought. And thought about nothing but Alexander, and the situation that I'm in now.

When I got back home, I grabbed the spare key from underneath the pot plant to the door's left, and put it in the keyhole. I tried turning it, but it was already unlocked. Oh, that's right. Kayla's here.

My parents work all day, so it's always locked when I make my way home.

I open the door and walk into the lounge to find it empty. I'd thought Kayla might be in here, but she isn't. I guess she's probably in the spare bedroom then.

I walk up the stairs, and into my room. I don't want to talk to her right now.

So, I drop my bag by the door, kick off my shoes, and lie face down on my bed, breathing into my pillow.

It's so comfy. I don't want to move right now. Or do anything. If I could just lie here for a while… that would be for the best. That would be the best thing.

…

…

…

I hear a knock on my door, the turn of a doorknob, and then the sound of the door itself creaking open.

"Tayla? I thought I heard someone come in."

I don't say anything.

Just go away.

I don't want to talk at the moment.

"Hey… are you okay?"

…

…

…

"What's up? Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

Not with you. Anyone but you, I would, but I can't talk about this with you. Not because I don't know you that well, but because of who you are. Who you are to Alexander.

I wish she would just get the message already, but Kayla just keeps on pushing me.

"I know I don't know you that well, but I'm a good listener."

…

…

Pushing, and pushing, and pushing, and pushing.

A good listener? I doubt that.

…

…

"Okay, well if you don't want to talk to me, maybe I could call your mum?"

…

…

Pushing, and pushing, and pushing, and pushing.

I exhale into my pillow, then roll over and stand up.

I walk over to Kayla, who remains in the doorway.

"I don't care. Do whatever you want, just don't talk to me. If you can't understand why you're the last person I want to talk to about why I'm so miserable at the moment, then I can see why you drove Alexander to run away."

With that, I made my return to my bed, throwing myself at it, once again face down.

…

…

…

Is she gone?

I looked over my shoulder. Kayla was indeed gone, but she'd left the door wide open.

$l#!

I stood up, stomped over, and kicked the door shut.