Tayla Story - 012

"Umm… good morning?"

I jump with a start.

I think, at some point I must've fallen asleep.

Whatever the case, I open my eyes to see Alexander's own green eyes staring at me.

…

…

"Good morning."

He laughs, "what are you doing here? I thought you said that you had a busy day at school. I can't've slept for that long, can I?"

I bite my lip. That is what I'd told him. Though it was a lie. This is the moment isn't it? That I have to tell him the truth.

Alexander rolled over and grabbed something off the floor.

"I thought so. It's only one. Did you leave at lunch to come see me?"

"Sorry, Alexander. I lied about being busy at school today. The truth is that I don't even have that many assignments left to finish before the end of the term."

"Really?" he rolled over once more to face me, "then why did you say you were busy?"

"Because I…"

Words like this are so hard to get out. It feels like I'm choking on my guilt. I don't understand people like swindlers and conmen. How can they just lie all the time? It must feel horrible.

"Because I met this girl. Called Kayla. Kayla Thorne."

I see the colour in Alexander's face drain. Just seeing that feels like it confirms all my fears. I can see it in his eyes, because I know him. Because I love him. She was his best friend. And also, someone very special to him.

"How did you meet her?"

"She came looking for you."

"How did she find me?"

"I don't know. I kind of had more important things on my mind, after listening to what she had to say."

"What'd she tell you?"

"How you two used to be friends. That you were in love with her."

Alexander averted his eyes, "I… don't know what to say."

"Why didn't you ever tell me about her?"

"I'm… not sure."

"Is it because I'm just a replacement for her?"

"No, of course not."

"Are you sure? We definitely look a lot alike."

"No. It wasn't like that," Alexander shook his head, "maybe the two of you look similar, but your personalities are completely different."

"Was that why you saved me back then? When we first met?"

"I… I'm not sure. Maybe it was part of the reason. But really… I just wanted to do the right thing for once."

…

…

"Tayla, I don't know how else to explain this all. I'm sorry. I know I should've told you."

"Then, why didn't you?"

"Because I didn't think it would matter. If there was any part of my past that I thought would never find me, it was her. She never cared much for me, so I never would've thought she'd come looking for me."

"That's not a reason, that's an excuse."

…

…

"Sorry," Alexander started, "I don't know what else to say. I'm not sure why I never told you."

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…

…

…

"Well, whatever. Let's go see her. Maybe seeing her will remind you why you never told me."

"Wait… she's here?"

"Yeah, she's been staying at my house since Saturday."

With that, I sat up on the bed, and I was about to push myself up when Alexander grabbed my arm.

"Wait."

"What?"

"This is more important. I'm not going to go see her until we sort this out."

"Her flight leaves in five hours."

"So? We've got plenty of time."

"But… don't you want to see her?"

"Of course, I do. She was my best friend. But, you're more important to me Tayla. That's been true for a long time now. I love you, not her. I don't know if what I felt for Kayla could be called love. And if it was, it wasn't good for me. And it's certainly a thing of the past.

You're the one that I love now, Tayla. You're the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with."

"What? Are you proposing to me?"

"No, but… well would you say yes?"

"I'm still mad at you, Alexander. You haven't told me why you never mentioned her to me."

"I…" Alexander sighed, "I think maybe I was just worried about how you would react. When we first met, I was doing everything I could to leave my past behind. Including her. I didn't want to think about her, so I ignored it.

And well… after that, it just didn't seem like I could bring it up. I was scared about how that would make you feel. That you would think that you were just a replacement or something. I was scared that it would make me lose you.

I didn't want to remember my past, and I was scared that bringing it up would make me lose the most important person in my life. If I had to say why I never told you, that would be why. I know that it's no excuse, and I'll do whatever I can to make it up to you. I'm sorry that I never told you about Kayla."

How am I supposed to respond to that?

I'm still upset at him. There's no way that I can't be right now. Even if he explains himself, I just… don't want to hear it. I can't right now, I'm not ready to hear what he has to say. It's not that I don't believe him, but I just need some time.

"I need some time to think, Alexander. Can we just go see Kayla now? Once this is all over, we can work everything out."

"But… okay," Alexander, usually so proud, meekly submits.

I can't say that makes me happy. But I'm glad he isn't going to try and force me into this right now. If he can wait just a day, then… then maybe. Maybe I'll be ready to listen to him then.