Final Story - 009

After I ended my call, I immediately started to move.

To be honest, I wasn't really expecting so much to come of it. To me, it seemed much more likely that it'd be a dead end. After all, it was a bit of a stretch to think that perhaps Ray had mentioned to AJ something like that. It almost seemed too good to be true. I don't know who else would've known something like that. I'm thankful that she has such a good memory.

Or perhaps you would remember where you met someone like Ray for the first time. I do. But, in my case, that's probably only because he was with Kiss Duskdancer. Someone even more like him, in the sense of being ominous.

"Alexander!"

Tayla's voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

"What?"

"I've been calling your name for a while now. Did you find out where they are?"

"Yeah. Well, it's still just a guess. AJ said she first met Ray at the old cathedral in town. Do you know where that is?"

"Oh," Tayla's eyes lit up, "that would make sense if it turns out to be right. Yeah I know where to go."

"Okay, can you show me?"

I'm ready to go. It wasn't like I brought anything with me, so really all I've done is tie up the laces on my shoes. That's the extent of my preparation. It isn't like there's anything else I can do.

I just need to shoulder this burden too.

"Wait, Alexander. You can't be thinking that you're doing this alone."

"Of course, I am. It's my fault that any of this happened, so I need to take responsibility for it."

Tayla looked frustrated, "I'm coming with you."

"No."

"No?"

That was a mistake. She's angry now.

I shouldn't have just dismissed her like that. I walked straight into this situation. And now I've angered her.

"What do you mean, no? There's no way I'm not coming with you."

"I can't let you. I don't want anyone else to get involved."

"Huh?" Tayla crossed her arms, "I'm already involved."

"Why do you want to come?"

"Why…"

I shouldn't be doing this. But, I'm just so tired. It's just… too difficult.

"Is it because of Kayla? Do you still think there's something between us?"

"Alex-"

"Or maybe, you just feel left out? You want to come with me because you think you're missing out on something?"

I should stop.

"Do you want to go after a drug dealer with me, like AJ did?"

I don't like the words coming out of my mouth.

"Or be put in a situation like Caroline was?"

They're so ugly.

"Wh-"

Tayla slaps me in the face.

…

…

It hurts.

It hurts so bad.

Not the slight sting on my face, but the heavy boulder sitting on my heart.

"Of course, that's not what I'm thinking. I'm terrified of what might happen. Of what Kiss might do to Kayla, or what she might do to you instead. And if you remember, it wasn't all that long ago that I was in a bad situation myself," she was livid. I've never seen Tayla like this. She was definitely loud enough that Devon and Krista would be able to hear us from downstairs, but they weren't coming up as far as I could tell.

"But you helped me then. You saved me. All I want is to be by your side, and help you like you helped me then. That's all.

Everything that I want from this life."

This weight is so heavy. It's crushing me to the point where I can't even breath anymore. I'm disgusted with myself. I knew how she felt, and yet I still said all of that. Being tired or trying to stop her from coming with me… those aren't excuses for what I just said. Not at all. Those words are inexcusable.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"No, you shouldn't have."

She was still fuming. I can't blame her though. What I said was horrible.

"I just didn't want you to come with me. It's too dangerous."

"You're going anyway though."

"Because it's my responsibility."

Tayla scoffed, "you would be going even if it wasn't. We both know that."

"Yeah, you're right.��

Exactly. I would be going no matter what.

"I would be going," I continued to speak, "no matter what the situation was. Whether it was my responsibility or not. Because that's who I want to be. But, that's not who you are. If you want to come because you want to be by my side, the best thing you can do, is stay here. I'll feel much better if I know you're safe. If I know that nothing's going to happen to you.

I shouldn't have said what I did before. That wasn't fair. It was… grotesque. I'm sorry."

Tayla tilted her head. I couldn't tell what she was thinking at all. But she was still pissed. Whatever I said, even if I grovelled or prostrated myself, it wasn't going to make any difference. I'd said all I could.

It wasn't like I could stop her if she insisted on coming, but I don't want that. I don't want anyone else getting involved. You could say that she is already involved, but I still want to keep her as far away from this as I can.

"You should stop saying things you have to apologise for. It doesn't suit you."

"Yeah, I don't think so, either. I'll try not to make so many mistakes in the future."

"Oh? You think we have a future?"

"We don't?"

"No, you're just a passing fancy to me."

"I'm just a stand-in?!"

"Yeah. Until the world ends."