I'll be upstairs in my room for a while...

"I doubt it, but I don't think too many other mothers bring them home and give her such a glowing report on her daughter's sterling qualities. She's probably in there now asking them why they can't behave that well at home."

"You painted them into a corner." I chuckled.

"Yes. I did. They are really wonderful girls and I like them both quite a bit. I want them to visit again, as do you and Bud and Jim. For that to happen, Mrs. Henderson must believe that we are a good influence on them. Now, they have to live up to my praise. So yes, I painted them into a corner, and now they either have to rise to their potential or admit that they are not the people I said they were."

"You know, they could get even with you very easily. All they have to do is tell their mother about your four-star cooking. She might not appreciate the comparison."

"Hmmm. I hadn't thought of that. But even so, it would just serve to show that my standards are high. They would be raising the bar for themselves. And thank you for the somewhat back-handed compliment. I also felt that I owed them for allowing them to be put in harms way last night. I should have been there."

"What would you have done if you had?" I knew where this discussion was going, but Bambi seemed to be determined to blame herself anyway.

"Probably something stupid that would have got someone hurt. Most likely me. I would have tried to protect you — the last person who needed protecting. The one person who had the ability and the will to protect everyone else." I saw tears run out of the corners of her eyes as she admitted that she would have been more hindrance than help. "I'm sorry. I can't help how I feel. This is why I'm going to do my best to help you succeed. If you can save just one person, then I can claim some small amount of responsibility for that and it will go a long way toward easing my mind about last night."

That explained a lot about her enthusiasm for my new profession. I had been sure she would want to try to protect me, even to talk me out of it. Instead, she depended on me to help her erase what she saw as her failure to protect her children and children given into her safekeeping when they were in danger. The web of obligations around me was getting thicker and stronger all the time.

When we got back, Bud had gone off to play ball at a friend's house and Jim was waiting to talk to his mother.

"What is it Jim?" Mrs. Reynolds said as she dropped her purse on the small desk in the kitchen. She hung her car keys on the hook on the wall and turned to face her son, who was obviously having trouble with his question. When he looked pleadingly at me, I took the hint.

"I'll be upstairs in my room for a while... reading." I said. "Long book. War and Peace or something. Later!" I'd really liked to have heard Jim pop the question, but it wouldn't have been fair to make him ask in front of me. I settled for peeking down the hall from the second step on the front stairs. I couldn't see Jim from there but I could see his mother. I could heard muffled voices and I saw Bambi smile and pull Jim over to the sofa. Then I quit spying and I snuck off upstairs to find something to amuse myself for about half an hour or so.

I went up to the rooftop deck to sit in the sun and think. It was cloudy when I opened the door onto the small patio area. I was disappointed, but when I saw the whirlpool tub I knew that would be an even better place to meditate. I folded the top back and leaned it against the wall. The controls were clear enough to be understood by partygoers after a few drinks, so I did not have much trouble deciphering them. I took off my blouse and shorts and settled into the warm bubbly water. It was heavenly. The soothing water took kinks out of me that I did not know were there. It was so luxurious that it was distracting. I would have to get out if I wanted to sit and think about something other than how good I felt.

After a few marvelous minutes I turned off the whirlpool and closed it up. Then I went up to the open upper deck to sit and dry off. There wasn't much of a breeze and still little sun, but I was in no hurry. I settled down and focused my attention inward on myself. I questioned my goal. I questioned my motives. I questioned whether I had the right to drag other people into what might end up being a really bad idea. Once I had confirmed that I was doing what I had to do, what I was meant to do, I started thinking about where I needed to go from here. The training was a good idea. The bike could be very useful. Neeka would be the most useful part of the scheme. Bambi was right about that. Even I felt better knowing that there would always be a way for me to call for help if I got in over my head or if I needed to make a quick exit. As I thought of her, I felt Neeka's unvoiced question in my head. "No snooping." I thought. "This is private, please." I felt her attention shift away from me as she went back to studying her History text. I looked over the rooftop towards her house. It was several hundred feet away. Plenty of range, then. We could find out just how far we could reach some other time.