Trial 19: Stiff Fingers are Bad

Dashiell came into my bedroom, looking worried.

Currently, I'm on the verge of crying.

Dashiell looks even more worried so he asks again, "What's wrong? Why do you look like you're about to cry? Did you slip and injure yourself?"

I shook my head.

"Then what? Geez, just tell me already! I'm not a psychic so I won't know until you tell me. And if I don't know, then I won't know how I can help you with it."

"My hands, they... They got stiff... They have calluses. And my limbs... No, basically, my whole body got stiff; I gained muscles and I think I got heavier," came my reply.

Dashiell seemingly didn't understand my point as he didn't say anything back.

And that's it, I break down in tears.

Dashiell frantically tries to calm me down, saying, "Hey! What's gotten into you? Why'd you cried over gaining some muscles? That's actually a sign of good progress. There's nothing to be..."

Dashiell stopped mid-sentence as if realizing something...

Curious as to what he's realized, I ask, "Do you understand now?"

A sighing Dashiell responds, "Piano...It's about the piano, correct?"

I nod my head at him to confirm. I continue crying. This time, it's more audible.

Dashiell didn't say anything again. He kept quiet and let me cry.

A moment later, mama, Dr. Al, and Mr. Thomas came into my bedroom. They went to my side and asked what happened. I explained the situation to them. They were understanding about it and consoled me. Mama hugs me and rubs my back to soothe me.

I start voicing out my worries, "Mama, what will happen to me? Will I still be able to play the piano again like the old times? Will the sound I'll produce sound natural like always? With these calluses, my fingertips are predisposed to slipping off the keys. And my body... It's not so feminine anymore. A pianist with a stiff body is unpleasant in the eyes of the audience; that's what my mentor told me before and I think she's right."

"Ssh... Don't cry anymore. It's going to be alright. When you come back to playing, you'll do fine. Your skills won't ever disappear so don't be so sad," were my mama's words.

Dr. Al speaks next, "Alaine, those are natural since you've been working out. They're not some disease so there's nothing to panic about. Also, it's just as Mariangelise said, you don't lose a skill just because you got heavier. The only issue there is you need to make some adjustments and you'll get used to those over time."

"I'm sorry, Alaine. I have nothing to say since I'm not knowledgeable on this matter, but if you like, I can have my son order an electric piano for you," offered Mr. Thomas.

I politely said he doesn't need to. I think about what they all said to me for a moment and the atmosphere falls into silence.

In a short while, Dr. Al breaks the silence, "I guess, we're all good here. I'm going ahead. Good night, everyone."

"I think so too, so I will take my leave as well. Good night!" said Mr. Thomas.

Mama said on the other hand, "Alaine, you'll be okay so cheer up. I'll just be in my room. If you need anything just knock on my door, okay?"

I nod at mama and we said 'good night' to each other.

Now, it leaves just Dashiell and me in my bedroom.

Dashiell starts, "I can't be sure if what I'll tell you will help, but... Don't overthink it. Overthinking won't do you any good. Your crying won't get you anywhere either. It sucks for you, I know, but you know that for now, this is what you have to do so we'll resume our training. And, don't worry, when Foley's ass is defeated, you won't do any of these anymore, so let things be as they are for now, 'kay?"

I nod my head.

"I'll take my leave, then. Good night. See you at the training room."

I returned Dashiell's good night wish.

I return to the bathroom and continue where I left off. When I'm done, I tucked myself in my bed and shortly, I fell asleep.

The next morning came, and I did the usual preparation for my training. When I'm all prepped, I proceeded to the training room.

As usual, Dashiell is already inside the training room, waiting for me.

We both greeted one another a 'good morning.'

We did our warm-up exercises before jumping into the training like we always did.

Following my dismay over the changes in my body, I decided to pour out all my strength into the training. To Dashiell's surprise, my precision in climbing onto the ropes dramatically increased. Regarding the pull-up bar work, I managed to do 10 pull-ups. After that, I went straight to the punching bag and repeatedly punched it with as much force as I could exert. We took a break after. After the break, the usual cycle of my training resumed. My training went on just like how it should.

Getting done, our usual after training routine played on; taking a short rest, dinner, shower, and toothbrushing.

Now, I'm lying on my bed, thinking about the day when I finally finish this training and beat up that filthy Dr. Foley. I can't wait for that day to come. I want it to happen soon, so I can go back to my... our normal lives. I will live as a normal lady and one day, I'll look... I'll meet someone whom I can get married to. Then...

A knock on my bedroom door interrupted my imagination.