Planning

The Room of Requirement had proved to be the best and easiest place for the three blood siblings to meet. They were currently all cuddled together in a pile of blankets and pillows. Hermione was in the middle, and Severus and Lily were both stroking her hair in an attempt to calm her down. Severus was murmuring things into her hair. Lily wasn't sure, but she was pretty sure it was different ways to kill James, and Merlin knew that Sev had probably fantasized about that pretty extensively.

"This blood bond-thingy is weird, you know?" Lily murmured quietly. She grinned to herself then because she could almost feel Hermione rolling her eyes.

"Blood bond-thingy?" Hermione repeated acidly. "What makes it weird?"

"Well, I love you. I mean I really, really love you." Lily propped her head on her palm and looked down at Hermione who smirked at her.

"I know. I love you, too."

"What about me?" Severus demanded, looking vaguely sulky. Hermione pulled him down and kissed him on the cheek.

"Oh, we love you, too. Silly man," Hermione said fondly.

"That's just it though," Lily said slowly with a slight frown. "I mean, I love Severus. I did before the bond, and I still do, but…I don't want to…you know…with him."

"You know?" Hermione giggled and looked at Severus. "What about you, Sev? Do you want to you know with anybody here?"

"No," Severus said with a shrug. "I love you both, very much, but…no."

"That's just the nature of the bond," Hermione said smugly. She had, of course, deliberately written it that way because it very neatly got rid of the Severus and Lily problem. Hermione was a devious witch.

"Still, it feels so odd to be so close to the both of you," Lily said slowly. "I've never felt this way about anyone before. This sort of closeness, I mean."

"Mmm," Hermione said. She thought about that for a moment, and then decided it was best to tell the truth. "It's because we're actually kindred spirits. It's fairly rare."

"Kindred spirits?" Severus said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes," Hermione said simply.

"Well, that explains a lot," he said slowly.

"Now, about my Regulus problem," Hermione said firmly. Severus snorted.

"I think Amos Diggory will take care of that, as long as you cling to him like one of those girls that fawn all over Black the elder." He said dryly. Hermione shuddered.

"Do I have to?" She asked. Lily and Severus nodded.

"You have to. Trust me, after he sees that, it'll be fine," Lily said firmly.

"I didn't fawn all over Lucius and he's positively dreamy looking," Hermione huffed indignantly.

"Well, you're not really that type of girl, but Regulus won't know that." Lily said reasonably.

"You and Lucius…that must have driven James crazy," Severus said with a smirk of pleasure.

"Ha! He was positively frothing half the time," Hermione muttered. "It's a good thing I didn't completely pounce poor Lucius or James would have had his bollocks and hung them above his bed."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lily asked in confusion. Hermione rolled her eyes at her friend.

"You saw him, did you not? I was a very, very good girl, and he, Merlin bless him, was a complete and utter gentleman." Hermione said finally.

"Too bad," Severus said sadly. A wicked twinkle appeared in his coal-black eyes. "The shock of that might have killed James."

"Oh, you!" Hermione laughed and hit him with a pillow. Pretty soon an all-out pillow fight took place with much shrieking and squealing, and occasionally cursing from Severus when the girls ganged up on him. They collapsed in a pile, laughing when Lily sat up and looked at the both of them.

"We almost forgot! James. You said we were going to prank him, Hermione," Lily reminded her blood-sister.

"Brilliant," breathed Severus who looked as though every dream he'd ever had was about to come true.

"We need your help, Severus. Lily and I would end up chickening out. You think of something really, really horrible and then we'll tone it down just a bit," Hermione explained. Severus pouted when she mentioned toning it down.

"But, my darling, adorable Hermione, however will he learn his lesson?" Severus asked her, his black eyes smoldering at her. Hermione blinked. Wow. That smoldering thing was sort of sexy. Hmmm. Find Severus Snape a woman who is worthy of him.

"Don't you dare try that on me," Hermione told him sharply. "I don't want to kill James. Don't sigh like that! It's disturbing. I just want him to suffer."

Lily and Severus were the two people at Hogwarts who had often daydreamed, or fantasized, about making James Potter suffer, but most of what they suggested was a little over the top. Hermione vetoed most of it. Usually, the marauders were able to do whatever they wanted and they usually got away with it. That was hardly fair, now was it? Old Hermione suggested some of the pranks of the amazing duo of Fred and George Weasley. Hermione Potter smiled an evil smile. Perhaps.

"We can't do it right now, they would guess it was me," Hermione said slowly, thoughtfully.

"You don't want them to know it was you?" Lily asked in surprise. Severus grinned.

"You want them off balance. You want them to lay awake at night wondering who did it," he said with smug satisfaction. Why hadn't she been sorted into Slytherin?

"That's exactly what I want," Hermione said softly.

HP/HG/HP

They waited a week, and by that time James had been lulled into a false sense of security. It had taken Hermione awhile to figure out exactly what she wanted to do, and she started small. When he walked into the Great Hall, his robes and uniform changed to Slytherin green and silver. He didn't notice at first because when he'd put his clothes on in his room, they were regular crimson and gold. The next day, he realized that all the notes he'd taken in Transfiguration were written in Gobbledygook. In fact, all the notes he'd taken all day long were in Gobbledygook. He tried switching quills, but that didn't help. The one he'd snatched out of Sirius' hand scrawled ancient runes across his parchment, but when Sirius used it, it worked fine. The next day, he found himself in the center of a group of Hufflepuffs, serenading Professor McGonagall with the lyric strains of 'Danke Schoen'. No one in this time period knew what a flash mob was, but Old Hermione had given Hermione Potter the memories, and the spells to make it happen. The day after that, it was as though he were the victim of a permanent tripping jinx. He stumbled all through the castle, fell down a flight of stairs, spilled ink all over his Potions essay, and dumped a plate of food on Lily who stared at him in horror, before moving to go sit at the Ravenclaw table. James was so frustrated he wanted to break things, and Hermione decided that…perhaps…he'd learned his lesson.

The pranks stopped just as suddenly as they'd started and she could see James trying to figure out how he'd been pranked, and then—by extension—who had pranked him. She noticed with amusement that he completely discounted her as a possible suspect. She listened to him arguing with Sirius and all Remus, and not once was her name mentioned as a possibility, but Lily's was. She rolled her eyes. Stupid boys.