To define the self

"Moony, can I talk to you?" Sirius asked quietly. They were alone in their dorm room, and Sirius was on his back staring at the canopy of his bed. Remus glanced up from his Charms homework and frowned slightly. Sirius seemed to be not quite himself, and hadn't been since the Hogsmeade visit. He sighed.

"Sure, Padfoot, what's on your mind?" Remus said mildly, betting himself that it had to do with a certain stag-animagus' twin sister.

"I think I…I think I really like Hermione," he muttered so quietly that only a werewolf could have heard him. Remus smirked to himself, but then he became very solemn.

"Do you think you really do like her? Or do you just want to shag her?" He asked baldly. He liked Hermione, and he wasn't about to let Sirius hurt her. Sirius sat up and glared at him.

"Don't talk about her like that," Sirius bit out between clenched teeth. Remus blinked.

"Okay, then, you really like her. You might want to stop sleeping with anything that's got a pulse. I doubt that's going to impress her," Remus said coolly. Sirius sighed and put his head in his hands.

"They come on to me," he muttered. "They follow me everywhere. Can't tell you how many broom closets I've been drug into. Hell, I can't tell you how many times I've been full on snogging someone only to realize it was a bloke. It just happens."

"Right, well, again, I can't see Hermione being impressed with that," Remus said flatly. "In fact, I can see her being sort of repulsed by you not caring who you're with. She seems the type of girl who wants to know that the man with her, wants to be with her, not just any warm body."

"But I do want to be with just her!" Sirius moaned, falling back onto the bed. Remus snorted.

"Yeah, and that would be why you ran screaming from the Abbot twins? I mean I saw you beating them back and begging them to stop pawing at you, but I didn't think you were for real," Remus said sardonically, one eyebrow quirked at his friend. Sirius blushed a deep, deep red.

"Er…well, yeah," Sirius muttered. He sighed heavily. "I figured it didn't matter, since there's no way in hell she'd ever even look at me."

"She looks at you all the time, Sirius," Remus said in confusion. Sirius rolled his eyes at his friend.

"No, Moony, I mean she'd never want to be with me, and even if she did, she's James' sister. He'll kill me!" Sirius groaned and started to bang his head against his bedpost. Remus put out a hand and stopped him.

"First of all, I think she might like you," Remus said softly. "Second of all, if you keep on as Sirius the Super Stud of Hogwarts—then yeah, he'll probably castrate you himself with a dull, rusty muggle knife."

"You're so not helping," Sirius said from under a pillow.

"However, if you stopped all that, and started treating her like you were attracted to her, you might be surprised," Remus said mildly.

"What do you mean? Of course I'm attracted to her! Who wouldn't be?" Sirius sat up and looked at Remus as though he were deranged.

"You've never treated her the way you treat everyone else. I think it hurts her feelings. She seems irritated when you flirt with everyone, but she always looks a bit put out when you slide right over her," Remus explained.

"I've never treated her the same because I have always liked Hermione," Sirius said quietly, a dull flush creeping up his neck. "This is all a moot point, isn't it? You think she might like me, but she might not."

"Maybe, but I still think you should sort of rework your image," Remus said darkly. "It will definitely save you from a bloody pounding from James."

"Right. Swearing off broom closets as of now," Sirius said firmly from his bed.

"And empty classrooms," Remus reminded him.

"Yeah, those too."

"And the Quidditch locker room."

"Yup."

"And empty hallways."

"Yes."

"And the bleachers at the Quidditch pitch."

"Okay, yeah, them too."

"And the-,"

"I get it, okay? I'm a huge slut! Happy now?" Sirius bellowed at Remus.

"Er, am I interrupting something?" Hermione stood uncertainly in the doorway, looking from Remus to Sirius whose face had just turned the most violent shade of red that she'd ever seen. "Obviously James isn't here. Could you tell him I was looking for him? Right, I'll just let myself out."

HP/HG/HP

No one had ever gone out of their way to avoid Hermione Potter before, and she found that she was conflicted—half the time she was hurt, and the other half she was pissed off. She had only heard the last bit, the part where Sirius was screaming so loudly that all of Gryffindor heard him. She didn't know what the actual conversation had been about, but obviously Remus had called Sirius on his…er…extra-curricular activities. He had apparently taken that conversation to heart because Sirius Black was a changed man. She no longer walked the halls fearing to find him pressing some random girl into the stone walls. She wasn't quite sure what to make of his new behavior, and found herself reserving judgment. The Sirius that Old Hermione had known had still been a randy dog.

Well, yes, he was…but…I think you've changed things.

Why on earth would my presence change things?

Er, right. Well, dear, I think he likes you.

Who?

Merlin's beard, woman! Sirius likes you.

That's ridiculous.

Is it?

Of course it is.

He looks at you like he wants lay you down on the Gryffindor table and treat you like an All-You-Can-Eat buffet.

A…A what? Sweet Circe! Is that…is that…OH…oh my. He wants to do that to me?

Mmm. We should be so lucky.

We?

Honey, if that happens, I so have a front row seat.

Hermione shook herself out of her reverie. She looked out the window and sighed. Severus still wasn't really speaking to her, and they were running out of time. The Christmas holiday would be here soon, and then he would—publicly at least—be lost to them. She was anxious because she needed Severus to be on the inside and able to work closely with Lucius, but on the other hand she wept at the idea of her friend, her blood-brother, being bound to everything that was evil and malignant.

"Hermione," Severus said quietly, and she turned to look at him. He looked pale, as though he hadn't slept well. She raised a brow at him and he sighed. "I'm sorry."

"He would never hurt me," Hermione said just as quietly, willing him to believe her. He nodded.

"I believe you, if you've Seen it," he muttered. She moved closer and put her arms around him.

"Severus, I swear to you that Remus Lupin will never hurt me," she said firmly. Severus relaxed in her arms and hugged her back fiercely.

"There's not much time left," he whispered. "I won't be able to watch over you, and Regulus will be alone."

"I will survive," Hermione said dryly pulling back to look at him. "You are not the only thing keeping me from the arms of death. Besides, I have Peverell blood in my line. We do not fear death, we embrace it as the next great adventure."

"No wonder the lot of you are in Gryffindor," Severus said sourly. "No sane house would have you."

"Charming as ever, Sev," Hermione said with a low, throaty chuckle.

"What's your master plan, my lioness?" Severus asked her seriously.

"We need somewhere to meet, neutral territory for me, and for you all. Soon, we'll be outside of Hogwarts, and we'll need somewhere to meet that's not the room of requirement. Lucius can't get in to meet us here anyway, we'll have to meet with him on holidays. You and Lucius will need to work inside, and Regulus will be our eyes inside the school. He'll have to be in charge of passing along promising potential assets to you," Hermione thought out loud, rambling slightly as she tried to order her thoughts. "Once you start to receive the…the you know whats…then we need to contact the Order. Lucius will be in charge of that phase. We'll probably have to work with the Order to destroy them. There are very few things that do so, and all of them are terribly dangerous."

And once the…you know whats…are destroyed?" Severus asked quietly.

"He'll be mortal, and then we make sure that he gets to embrace the next great adventure," Hermione said with a smile that chilled Severus.

"So one of your major concerns would be a base of operations, yes?" Snape asked her. Hermione nodded.

"Yes. We need somewhere to meet regularly, or leave messages for each other, et cetera," Hermione said firmly, nibbling on her lower lip. "I wonder if we could use one of my dower properties."

"One of your dower properties?" Severus echoed, staring at Hermione with wide eyes. She nodded.

"Of course. I have four. One of them came to me from Mum's side of the family, one was bequeathed by a maiden aunt, one is from the Potter family, and one is from my Dad's mother," Hermione recited promptly. Severus blinked several times.

"Is there one that you think will work better than the others?" He asked curiously. She frowned as she thought, then her face cleared.

"Yes, actually. The maiden aunt left me a small chateau in France. When I'm seventeen, I'll have it hooked up to the floo network, and once we've all been there we'll be able to apparate in."

"Why that one?" Severus asked curiously.

"Well, it's out of country, so I think that makes it safer than a property that can be overseen by the Ministry. In addition, my family wouldn't show up, they would assume I'd be at one of the properties in Britain. Lastly, if everything goes pear-shaped, it will be a good place to hide out—again, because it's out of country," Hermione said honestly. Severus smirked.

"So, I gather that it's out of country," he murmured. She hit him on the arm.

"It is the major contributing factor that affects all the reasons I've listed, yes," Hermione said with a roll of her eyes. "We're going to make the most impenetrable fortress possible. It will be our safe haven."

"Very well," Severus said with a nod. "What else?"

"I want you to keep your eyes open, we need to consider other possible options. I would like to suggest…Rabastan LeStrange, but you'll need Regulus' help to turn him. He won't believe that you understand his position—you're not a pureblood," Hermione said cautiously. Severus quirked a brow at her.

"Has the Black madness come for you at last, Hermione? LeStrange? Rodolphus is you-know-who's right hand man. He practically worships him. He and his psychotic wife are the high priest and the high priestess of the Psychotic Bastard religion," Severus fumed at her. She clicked her tongue at him.

"Yes, Rodolphus is insane, but Rabastan is just a boy who is being forced to do what his family tells him to do. I think, once he sees what's really going on, he'll be just as repulsed and sickened as Lucius was, but he'll have no way out," Hermione said firmly. Severus nodded.

"You're going to have to pull Regulus in sooner than you'd planned, then," he muttered at her. She nodded.

"I know. I'd wanted to wait, but I don't' think we can afford to do that. Unfortunately, Severus, too many of them will hold your blood against you," Hermione said sadly. He shrugged.

"I know that," he said quietly. "It is why I strive to excel at everything. If I am the best, it is harder for them to say anything."

"I know," Hermione said softly, Old Hermione's memories crowding in at Snape's words. He laughed bitterly.

"Hermione Potter, forgive me, but you know nothing about what it is like for me," he said acerbically. Her eyes narrowed.

"I know more than you might think," she said coldly. Bitter amusement twitched his lips. She growled at him. "Meet with Lucius. Discuss the plan, report back to me when you're through."

"As my lady commands," he said dryly with a mocking little bow, and then he brushed her cheek with his lips and walked swiftly down the hall.