Cronenberg Medicine
"I saw you fucking strum it at me, god damnit. Don't you ever strum at me again! God, you could've fucking turned me deaf!"
"Hey, buddy, you're the one listening to music without headphones in public. Are you the type of dumbshit that likes watching porn in public, too, just so everyone knows what you like?"
"Watch your fucking mouth. You think because you're a woman I can't fuck you up, eh? You don't have an excuse like actual women do."
"Maybe I should've took the other ear out too." The woman laughed.
From where Iris was watching this in front of Urasaria in late August, she saw the man was growing angrier. She almost desired to help the woman, even though there was no disparity in strength; either one might have crushed the other's skull.
The woman was a black woman with curly hair, wearing leather pants with tall goth boots. Iris would often see her wearing rimless sunglasses, a bit like one might see at a nightclub. But in truth that was rarely where she was really looking. Whoever it was, she had a fantastic ass.
She subtly glanced at it as she passed by them and went through the gates & to the first-year building's arena.
Hirogane and Emilia were there,. She saw the trio of Kate, Naomi, and Serena off the side, though she did not recognize anyone aside from perhaps Serena, who had raised her public profile in previous months. Kate had stopped wearing her usual police-esque uniform a few months ago, though she still dressed professionally.
Once the rest of the students were in, Kate stepped in.
"Good morning. My name, or how you'll address me, is President Kate. My hero name is Anagen -- it comes from one of the phases of hair growth."
Her hair extended, then retracted.
"You're likely already aware how Urasaria operates, and if you aren't, ask your mentor. However, legal immunity has proven a difficult concept for new students to grasp, so I will explain it. You are allowed to complete investigations by any method that yields results: you do not need warrants or to respect due process rights. Enemy hosts have no rights, constitutionally or God-granted.
What you are not allowed to do is intervene in civilian-level investigations. Civilian police are trained to lie to you: they will try to threaten you into working with them or say that you are obligated to do so. Do not listen to them. Kill or sexually assault a civilian, and I will expel you. You have enough provided to you to not need to steal for necessities, but I understand that is a Urasaria tradition, so I will not bother you on theft.
At rank #50, you will have the option of choosing your hero name, along with a costume and weapon. Your housing will improve, as will your meal plan. The prior rumors you may have heard about Urasaria's destitute cafeteria have been addressed.
At #25, you will be awarded one of the mansions.
At #10, you will be awarded a one-time bonus of $25,000. At rank #5, $50,000. I instituted this because I saw too many gutless shits staying around #25 and refusing to improve where rewards ended.
As for the second-years, to repeat what I said in my speech a few months ago: I have 24 3-stars who I trust on contracts, and one of me. I'm not going to beat President Swarm in kills or popularity, so I figure facilitating your investigations is the best use of my time. To that end, I will almost always be on campus. Call me if you need ideas or are stuck."
She looked to Serena.
"Hi, my name is Serena, and I'm a trans woman." She smiled. "Transgender students: please come see me so I can get to know you and help you around campus. You'll find me in the infirmary, at least for the first week."
Kate nodded. "Any questions? Good. I'll check back in in an hour."
Hirogane waited until Kate & Naomi left, then explained his & Emilia (& sometimes Serena's) role in the infirmary. "If you suffer an amputation: call ahead to the infirmary to make sure Serena can be there. She's experienced with replacing limbs, but there's a time limit to it. As for regular injuries, Emilia has a decent stockpile of Quilt's patches, so take more than you need."
Emilia was holding a closed sewing pouch. "Erm, Flickendecke's patches, yes. These patches will work so long as you have not used your Geist -- Revenant -- in fifteen minutes or zo. Otherwise, de patches will be scared. Unfortunately, as zum of de zecond-years have already seen, it has... increased in medical potency recently, albeit with a new appearance."
Hirogane opened the pouch and took a patch out from it. It was a square, undulating patch of flesh, hair, sinew, and blood caked across its perfect edges. The stockpile in the infirmary was partially because no one liked carrying around the fucking abominations. (That no one ever saw Emilia sew them contributed to the rumor that they were made of expelled students.)
He looked out over the disgusted students and shrugged. "I've seen what your kills look like. This is tame."
"And when making burgers, they make a wonderful replacement for cheese." chimed Emilia.
Iris thought she saw shards of bone swimming around in it.
"Mentors, go ahead and call your proteges." muttered Hirogane and stood off with Emilia.
The second-years glanced amongst themselves, none wanting to call out first. Eventually one did. Next was a woman wearing a blue parka. It was always snowing around her, which fortunately disappeared before collecting on the ground. One of the few ways she could garner positive attention without the anxiety of showing her body. Her badge read: NATURAL DISASTER. "Iris Valentine?"
Iris summoned Phantom on her back before stepping forward and enjoyed hearing the interest grow behind her as it crawled to her shoulder. She smiled to the woman and stepped off to the side with her, near the wall.
"Hi, my name is Natasha Flagg, and I assume that big-ass spider is your Revenant."
"It is."
"Nice. What's it do?"
"Her name is Phantom, and she manipulates time." Iris rubbed the back of her neck. "I've found it a-a bit difficult to describe, so I might need a weapon to demonstrate it on."
"Sure thing." Natasha went over and fetched her a sword from the rack. "Treat these as rough as you want. Kinda like people treat me."
"Phantom." The sword's blade began to rust. "I'm going to cool it by slowing its molecules, then heat it by accelerating them."
Natasha nodded as it began to rapidly cool. It then reverted to its constituents; a steel and carbon mixture along with untanned leather for the hilt. Another "Phantom" and it blinked whole, back to where Natasha had fetched it. "Oh, so it's… okay. No stopping time?"
"No. It's mostly been localized, in my experience -- I know how to use it, it's just, er..."
"Yeah, describing your Revenant to someone else can be weird. But I think I get it. With that sword, you reverted it to what it once *was*, right?"
"I knew it was once steel and carbon, so yes. I could've reversed it further, back into molten metal, too."
"Could you put the leather back into the cow?"
Iris snickered. "No, Phantom doesn't do biology well."
Natasha looked to the sword still on the rack. "…and you reversed it back to where it once was. Alright, so... damn, that's cool. Okay, um... I-I kinda was expecting a more normal Revenant, but then again, I don't know why I did. Let me show you mine and we can start brainstorming. Actually, I guess you've already seen it." said Natasha, relevantly. "It's control over weather: Meteorology. Wind, electricity, lava, snow, stuff like that."
"Does it summon natural disasters? Your hero name?"
"No, the natural disaster is me. Meteorology's just weather."
Iris looked over and saw some of the other mentor & protege pairs dueling, then back to Natasha.
"Um, we're not doing that because it's stupid. I can just test you in other ways."
Iris scratched the back of her neck. "It wouldn't be good to get experience fighting?"
"It's not like fighting, because I'm not trying to kill you and you hopefully aren't trying to kill me. You have to be quick and violent at Urasaria, or you'll be dead. You're cautious in a duel: not in a real fight." Natasha paused. "Um, also, advice: make quick decisions. You can reverse a bad decision quickly. Slow decisions are tarpits."
Iris nodded.
"But I can test your strength and your durability, so we know how you'll be in fights. Which do you want first?"
"Durability."
Natasha placed her hand on Iris's shoulder, a bit tentatively. White lightning swarmed her hand and Iris winced, but stood still. It increased to green lightning and Iris felt her skin charring, beginning to melt -
- until a white current penetrated the green, and in the next instant -
- Natasha laughed as she swept her hand away, her fingers slightly charred: "Hey, what the h-"
"Did I scare you?"
They laughed.
"No, but I figured you had something else left. Electricity is moving particles, so you just accelerate that. Nice." Natasha wagged her hand, then shot a green lightning bolt into the wall that left a hole in it. "Try adding your's into it?" She wagged her hand again: this time the bolt was noticeably thicker. "Sweet. See, already something we can train together?"
"Looks like it." Iris smiled, then winced as she felt her flesh dripping. "I-I should probably get this healed. Phantom doesn't work much on humans."
Natasha pointed out Serena to her, who refilled her flesh with Blackburn. She came back.
"Okay, attack me." said Natasha. "Any way."
A set of splinters shot out of the wall and into Natasha's ear, leaving a few hanging cuts that nearly sliced it off. She winced as she gestured Hirogane over, as she clutched it & asked Iris how she had done it.
"Your bolt blasted part of the wall off. I repaired it and repeated the splinters shooting out, just with a bit of manipulation. Uhm, I'm not being too hard, am I?"
"Nah, you're good. But I'd also probably still say that even if you van Gogh'd me."
Hirogane came over. "How is it I haven't seen you two fight yet and both of you are already injured?"
"Well, I-I figured the dueling people usually do is so dumb, isn't it? I was testing her durability and strength other ways."
Hirogane drew Pulse's tendril up her vein and healed her. He knew Natasha was one of the more interesting students: not necessarily a good thing. But he reasoned to himself that evolution produced Natashas just as it did Matois. He walked away.
"Okay. So, as much fun as it would be to just beat the shit out of each other for three hours, I kinda get the feeling you've already been in a fight before. Mostly because you aren't screaming. Am I right?"
"A few." nodded Iris. "My Revenant actually activated about six years ago: I only now just got around to registering it."
"Nice. Yeah, you've got this toughness to you: not like, macho, but that you just outlast people. So that means I don't have to go over the host psychopathy stuff, loving violence, all that. That's good, because I'm barely responsible with m-my own emotions and wasn't really looking forward to that with a protege." Natasha nervously laughed. "So, maybe we go out later today to find a criminal to kill? Have you seen Revenants fight before?"
"I have. I'm a bit nervous, but if you want to rush me into that, I don't blame you."
"Okay. We'll train for about an hour, check your fitness, come up with some uses for your Revenant, eat, and then head out. We'll be on the lookout, and I'll keep you safe. Cool?"
"Cool."
And so they beat the shit out of each other for only an hour, then ate at the cafeteria.
"It used to suck, but Kate brought in a bunch of food critics and made all the cooks here cry." said Natasha. "Food is pretty good now, and once you get 2-star, they'll pack stuff for you to take on contracts. But, uh, Kate has that saying about joy is complacency, so just don't ever look lazy or happy. I have a 19-year headstart on that, so it helps."
"I honestly don't mind the discipline. She seems like an effective president."
"You don't?" Natasha laughed. "Okay, I don't either, much. Some people don't, but some people are fat and stupid and only eat sweets until they die of a heart attack at 40. I mean, America is a whole country based on people not liking being told what to do, so I guess that shouldn't surprise me." She ate some more. "Have you ever ridden a train, Iris?"
"No, I haven't. I've almost never lived anywhere with public transportation."
They finished eating. Natasha led her outside and to one of the trains leading out of Urasaria. "Oh, sweet, everyone is still blasting each other's brains out. Let's go." They went inside and Natasha tapped a screen beside the door, displaying a map of its possible destinations.
While she was doing so, Iris thought about her truck outside that still had her luggage. She felt somewhat paranoid that another first-year would steal her stuff, which included her rather copious collection of firearms. She was responsible, of course: she only had a permit to hunt animals & criminals.
She sat down in a window-seat in one of the rows.
"This thing goes from New York to Pennsylvania, Maine, or in between. It's the fastest way to get there, but it's not allowed to operate anywhere else." Natasha sat down beside her.
"Why?"
"Ask the voters." shrugged Natasha. "So you need a car to go outside of the north-east, but you get to break traffic laws and drive at 130mph in school zones, so it's not too bad. Sometimes cops don't realize and you get to waste their time as much as they waste everyone else's."
Iris looked up the carriage and saw no one else. "Is it fully automatic?"
"Yeah, it's all computerized. I think it's somebody's Revenant, maybe, but we're too disposable to know important information like that." said Natasha. "Hey, speaking of disposable, do you have any special phrases you use for your Revenant? Wanna make sure we can communicate quickly."
"Nothing too particular. Accelerating time, reversing time. I've sometimes liked 'chronoshift' -- chronoshift +15 seconds or -15 seconds."
"Alright, cool."
Tentatively, Iris tried to manipulate her chair; she could corrode or repair its lining, indicating this was not a Revenant. "The train isn't a Revenant. I can't manipulate Revenants."
"Really? Huh, weird. Maybe it's just piloted by one, or-"
- Natasha pulled Iris down into her lap, and in the next instant -
- a shimmering fist burst out of the window beside; Natasha caught it with her own as she hefted Iris out to the aisle and stood up, watching it warily.
"Oh f-fuck." winced Natasha, her left hand bloodied. "Okay, don't panic, this has just never happened before."
"R-Revenant?" panted Iris. "I-I thought these were safe."
"Well, he must've used his Revenant, because there's no way he was on when we boarded and this thing goes like 400 miles per-"
The train began to slow as a robotic voice filled the carriages. "ENEMY HOST DETECTED ONBOARD. EXITS: LOCKED. LAST STOP, CREEP."
"I love this thing." said Natasha as they backed into the aisleway. "Close-range equals strong. Be careful, okay? Meteorology."
Natasha threw her hand back and it burst through ten, barely-visible thin panes of glass; the glass erupted outward and sliced deeper through her skin as Iris caught a few shards in her own, and as a window beside her shattered -
"Meteorology!"
- a window of wind rushed in to replace it and kept the foul shards at bay; the glass tried to breach it but it couldn't bust through the barrier, and another gust shot the former-window out to the scenery outside, disappearing mid-flight.
Phantom's legs twitched on Iris's back; she had been trying to accelerate the decomposition of the windows but could not. "Natasha, the -- windows are Revenants-"
Beside, the window tried to fly back into its former place, and in the next instant -
- a shudder went through every window in the carriage; they rapidly broke apart and re-layered themselves, forming thick lenses that caught the sunlight and shot it at Natasha's eyes -
- but the next scene was instant. Phantom searched for the last time the train's chairs' recline buttons had been pressed and recreated it; Phantom accelerated their lean-back and catapulted them off their posts & into the lenses, taking the glass with them as they sailed through the aisle with only a few thin panes left now.
Behind, Phantom accelerated the rusting of the door to the next carriage; it corroded away and into the inter-carriage gap went its window, shattering below the moving beast with no damage done.
Natasha backed up beside Iris; their glass-bodied foe was reconstituting a few seconds ahead, his brain & heart contained within his glass skeleton & skin.
"You alright?" muttered Natasha and Iris nodded as they exchanged a glare with him. A few thin lenses fell to the ground and slithered up to his body, repairing slits of glass in the back. "Okay, this dude's a Viktoria rip-off. This'll be easy-"
- his glass-arm shot through the ceiling and left a gaping hole; up he climbed, body thickening in the hole and forming another lens; a beam of sunlight shot into the floor -
- and disintegrated a large hole in it; before they could react he disappeared up through the hole, unseen yet still lingering overhead. The train was beginning to slow, and the world below decelerating.
"Okay, Viktoria can't do that." muttered Natasha, relevantly; Iris wondered who the hell Viktoria was, and in the next instant -
- a glass fist shot through the ceiling behind them and sent shards of glass spewing in its shatter; Natasha turned to hit it with her wind -
- but dragged her face through another ten thin & barely-visible panes, gashing her face as the fist retreated. Another punch dropped down ahead, forcing the two back as a third punch tried for their heads, inching them closer to the hole yawing at their backs.
"Looks worse than it feels." whispered Natasha; Iris nodded, only slightly comforted as she asked Natasha for permission on something, and in the next instant -
- time accelerated and the ceiling corroded away; his glass-body fell from above -
"-Meteorology!" shouted Natasha; a fiery tornado shot through his body and gripped him in its spin, as shards of glass erupted out of the foul winds -
- but another wind blasted their seats into the glass and caught them as they had once before; another wind blasted his still-headed torso through the wall and sent it flying outside; he fell behind the train's speed before they could see if he had lived or not.
"Okay, got some time." chimed Natasha as they turned. Snow plugged up her & Iris's wounds. "The glass is his body. Guy's a total dipshit, 'cuz now half of his body is stuck in those chairs. Let's get them out of here."
With Iris's help, they hefted up the chairs and blasted them into the next carriage.
"Anyway, this guy's a loser, but be careful of fall-"
The train's voice filled the carriages. "ENEMY HOST HAS NOT YET BEEN KILLED. IN FIVE MINUTES, TOXIC GAS WILL BEGIN FLOODING CABIN #1. MURDER QUICKER!"
Iris stood wary near the hole in the floor, stepping carefully back as a scraping began below, and in the next instant -
- a glass-hand burst out of the hole and tried to pull Iris's boot down -
- but her boot disappeared and his grip shriveled, his remaining body below with its bottom scraping along the tracks -
"- Phantom!" shouted Iris; the train accelerated to 800mph -
- and a horrific scream came from him as the immense friction scraped his body apart from below, glass left arm shattering & the bottom of his heart threatened; no option left, his right arm pushed down and he shot up to leap at Iris -
- right into a blast of superheated energy that melted his face off and consumed his brain; his body went flesh as Iris grabbed his neck and slammed him to the ground, stomping, tearing at his eyes as another superheated blast consumed his brain -
- and another, and another, and another, until Natasha laughed as she placed her hand on Iris's shoulder. Iris was shaking hard.
"Hey, you got him. Good job. Quick and violent!" (As Iris would learn, this was a catchphrase Natasha would utter at the most inopportune times: in the line at lunch, or when going to the bathroom.)
"B-Been thinking a-about that for the past few months." Phantom crawled on Iris's shoulder. "God d-d-damn, I think she liked that one." She tried to sit down and remembered there were no seats, then remembered there was no wall or ceiling. She took a minute to revert the train to how it had been before the fight.
"Nothing tastes as good as murder feels." Natasha went over and crouched down to scan. "Um, so. This tablet scans a Revenant to give you kill credit, tell you its ability, and the name. I wonder if you even... oh, there's still a little tiny bit of bacteria left. Sweet."
[Glasswork: Host's body is composed of glass and grants control over glass.]
[A/N: I'm intentionally over-explaining for the first few fights, until you get the gist of Phantom.]
"H-How does it know the name?"
Natasha shrugged. "It just does. Um, I'm pretty sure the ability is the harder thing to figure out, anyway. People like shouting their Revenant's name 'cuz it strengthens it."
Iris sat down in a chair, this time away from the window. Natasha took that one as Iris said: "I thought a study came out disproving that."
"Yeah, but studies also say eggs cause cancer and lifting heavy is dangerous. Fuck science. Alright, time to apply these." Natasha grabbed a Flickendecke patch.
"Is there some way I can heal myself besides that?" Iris usually distrusted doctors: that thing even less.
"Hirogane or Serena at the infirmary, I guess." Natasha applied a patch to herself; yet it was fearful of recent Revenant usage and refused to touch her wounds, trying to writhe out of her fingers. "Shit, ugh. I always forget that. Lemme adjust the route back to Urasaria while we're waiting..."
On the way back, Natasha succeeded in applying it. The flesh of the patch shriveled as it invaded Natasha's wounds, and expelled strands of blood as it was depleted, leaking like an orange too large for its peel.
They went back to the infirmary, and Natasha picked up a few Flickendecke patches as they walked in. There was always plenty in the stockpile.
Iris tentatively called Hirogane over as she sat down on a medical bed. As Pulse slid up her vein, she looked over and saw Emilia speaking with Serena. She had only vaguely followed student news, but knew that Serena was considered Urasaria's public transgender representative.
Whether an ultraviolent shittalking otaku was the representation the trans community needed no one ever questioned. But Iris respected Serena; over the years she stuck up for her when there were opportunities to do so.
Emilia had recently begun to identify as non-binary, and so they were asking Serena for her thoughts. This was the start of their long, healthy friendship that lasted until two days later, when Serena realized they had absolutely nothing in common besides that.
Hirogane frowned, then checked around to Iris's back. "I'm assuming you've had that scar for a while. It isn't going to heal with Pulse."
"Yes, it wasn't from this fight. I wouldn't want it healed anyhow."
"You should see the other 50 guys." said Natasha.
Hirogane pulled Pulse's tendril out. "S'fine. Just don't make any requests for me not to heal a wound: had to stop after someone had their's infected." (This never happened: he was just tired of students asking for a scar.)
As the two went back and down to the two-star housing, Natasha mentioned all of the crap you've already learned about one-star housing, and Iris agreed to move in with her.
Natasha saw a Belarusian woman waiting outside of her house and seemed to dim. "That's someone I know. She'll want to talk to me. Maybe you, too."
"Who is she?"
"Viktoria. She's my mentor."
Natasha went up and said hello to her. As Viktoria looked to Iris, they seemed to examine each other warily, if in a Mexican standoff. Or rather, Viktoria examined Iris.
'What in the goddamn shit is she doing?' thought Iris.
Still they stood there in silence.
After a good 6 seconds, Viktoria said: "You are not going to introduce me to your protege?"
"Oh, yeah. Iris, this is Viktoria. Viktoria, this is Iris. We were out fighting, and she just got her first kill. I was just about to help her move in, and then, uh... I don't know, we should probably have lunch."
"I could eat." muttered Iris.
"Well, it's good that you have your first kill already. I hope you made it a very violent one. Enemy hosts would just as soon rape and murder you if the roles were switched, so do not adhere to some silly moral code by treating them gently. Make sure that Natasha brings at least six of the healing patches with her for you."
"She knows." said Natasha.
"Well, Natasha, I did not. My Revenant involves slime, not telepathy."
Natasha smiled as needed. "Iris, you should go check out the cafeteria's menu before lunch. Just ask them for my options. I'll catch up with you."
Iris nodded, smally waved to Viktoria, then went off. She had no idea where the cafeteria was; she just needed to move. At least she could be proud that she had already killed a criminal in her first day. While she hadn't felt the almost-religious level of pressure for students to immediately join the academy or military, to be a student would make herself useful. Life, in that sense, lacked meaning for Iris outside of what she could breathe into it; the contribution to society her peculiar biology meant she could make.
She heard Viktoria say something to Natasha, and looked back. Whatever it was had made Natasha genuinely smile. The sun wandered from east to west as its tired light smudged against Iris's hands, and these distinct units of life she felt she would need to contend with.