BAAAM

"Zeanne! Zeanne!"

I woke up to my mom's persistent knocking on my bedroom door. I looked at the clock then pulled the covers over my head when I saw the date, hoping that my eyes were just playing tricks on me. But she knocked again which made me peek at the clock to confirm that I wasn't seeing nor hearing things.

[Monday]

[05:15 AM]

"Zeanne Haile! Get up now or you'll be late for school!"

'School...Uggghhh!!!'

When I was in second grade, I was absent from school for 2 whole weeks because I got infected by the I-don't-want-to-go-to-school virus. The doctor said that it happens to a lot of kids at that age for various reasons. For me, it happened right after the class ranking has been announced and I found myself in the 51st place out of 53 students. I've never been ranked below 2nd place in my 7 years of existence until then; The shock from ranking 3rd to the last place made me really sick.

Humiliation was the obvious cause of it.

And a shattered pride was the underlying factor.

And I think I've caught it again.

I just hope that Mom would be as understanding as she was back then.

"Mom, I feel sick." I muttered from under the cover when I heard my mom unlock the door and enter my room.

She tugged my blanket down and touched my forehead. "Quit being a wuss Zeanne Haile. You're too old for these psychological fevers. It's all in your head."

I wanted to tell her that there were no rules nor age limit to psychological fevers.

Especially in my case.

There shouldn't be.

Because I really am feeling sick.

And cold.

But before I could say anything, she held up a finger to silence me then she put her hands on her hips, as if that would make her sound more serious. In case her point didn't come across. "And for the last time, NO. You are not transferring schools. Like I've told you the other day, all your books, school supplies and uniforms for this school has already been purchased. We can't just let all those go to waste just because you're afraid of facing your crush."

'How the hell did she know about that???'

When I asked her if I could still transfer schools, I never told her the reason why. And she didn't ask as well. She just told me 'no' right off the bat. So, it really puzzled me how she knew about that incident.

Then, an evil face flashed in my head and understanding dawned on me.

'Of course, Arthur Blake Paige.'

"He's not my crush." I tried to keep my voice low even though I wanted to shout at the top of my lungs because of this unbelievable situation. Raising my voice would only upset my mom and she's not the one that I should be venting my anger on. At least now, this gave me a reason to go to school.

'I guess I'll be writing another name on my Death Note.'

My mom sat on the side of my bed and caressed my head. "I understand, darling. But Zee, you're at that stage and there's nothing that you should be ashamed of. It's normal to have crushes. So, what if he found out?"

I love my mom. I really do. More than anything else in the world.

That's why I never lie to her. Ever.

But sometimes, she has this tendency to believe what she wanted to believe.

"Mom. Like I said, he's not my crush." I said with gritted teeth.

She gathered me for a hug. "Awh... you're all grown up now. You used to tell me everything. Cry to me about the simplest things like Arthur tugging at your hair. But now, you're learning to keep secrets from me."

I slumped my head against her shoulder in defeat. "Are you even listening to me?"

"I am. So, you better get up now before the breakfast turns cold. Your dad is going to be late for his work." Then she stood up and was out of my room in a blink of an eye.

"He's not my dad." I muttered as I dragged myself from the bed to the kitchen.

When I came in the class, a few girls were already there and the first thing that they asked me was, 'Is it true?'. I could not remember how I replied but I could remember them squealing with the delight as they went to their respective seats.

'Good for them. They've got something to gossip about and entertain their boring lives.'

'I'd give anything to be on that side of the fence too.'

'Anything.'

Then while I was having lunch and savoring Mom's wickedly delicious Pineapple Chicken, her words struck me.

"...But Zee, you're at that stage and there's nothing that you should be ashamed of. It's normal to have crushes. So, what if he found out?"

'Right. So, what if everybody found out?'

'It's not the truth anyway.'

I smiled then chuckled with incredulity. I could not believe that I just wasted a perfectly good weekend because of something as trivial as this.

"What's wrong with you?" Katherine asked.

I just smiled at her and answered chirpily. "Nothing."

Finding it hard to control myself, I snickered again which must have irritated her. "What is it?"

This time, I could longer hold back my laughter and Trixie shook her head with sympathy "After what happened last week, I think she's finally lost it."

Mia hastily went behind my chair and hugged me. Sounding really apologetic as she explained, "Zee, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to tell them. It's just that they were saying nonsense about you taking advantage of Craige. So, I could not just stand back and let them think that way about you. I'm really sorry."

'Taking advant---Should I have just let him fall on his face back then? To hell with them!'

I tapped Mia's arm. "It's okay. Don't mind it. It's really not a big deal."

"But, Zee, now everyone knows that you like Joshua." Trixie looked at me, clearly wondering how I could take this too lightly.

"Let them think whatever they want, if that makes them happy. Why should I stress myself over it?" I shrugged and continued eating, feeling grateful to my mom for letting me realize what a fool I've been. That must be why she didn't listen to me when I keep on saying that Joshua wasn't my crush. I've been acting otherwise. I locked myself in my room, asked to be transferred to another school and refused to go to school. I acted exactly like someone who's crush has been found out.

'Ts. Mothers, indeed, know best.'

The next few hours went swiftly, especially our last class with Teacher Beshy. She came in and told us to take out our Literature book then assigned a short story for each of us to report. After telling us what she will be requiring from us for our reports, she gave us free time to look through our stories and dismissed the class for the day.

And of course, nobody bothered reading and just went out to play like a bunch of kids.

Except for a few nerds, like Katherine.

And me, who just didn't have anything better to do.

Besides, reading folklores and legends from other countries was quite fascinating.

After finishing two stories, I decided to flip the pages of the book to where my report was, thinking that I might as well read it in advance.

[The Legend of Marinduque

Retold by: Alfonso P. Santos

(Marinduque, Southern Luzon, Philippines)]

The story was about an incomparably beautiful princess, Maring, who fell in love with a stranger with princely manners. Unaware of his daughter's love affair, the King announced that he will be giving his daughter's hand to whomever wins the ship race. And since Duque could not afford a ship to join the race, Maring was very unhappy and she prayed to the gods for help and they answered her prayers by sending out a turbulent storm which killed her suitors in the process. This made the king fear to have more lives to be wasted so he decided to let Maring choose a man to marry herself. And the people loved the couple that they named their island after the two.

And they lived happily ever after. The end.

I frowned at the book, feeling very unhappy and deeply disturbed by the story.

'Three royalties just died tragically!'

I understood that it was their decision to brave the deadly storm, but shouldn't the princess at least feel a little guilty about what happened? Had she told her father about her feelings towards someone else, then maybe he would have let her marry that person and there would have been no need to get the gods involved and cause casualties. And it's not only this story. The first two that I've read were just as tragic, if not worse. Especially the first one, where the protagonist turned into a nine-tailed fox and ate the liver of her lover then killed herself when she regained her sanity. The stories were just plainly disturbing. At least for me.

'Or am I just being overly conservative?'

That's why, when the day for me to report in class came, imagine the shock that I felt when nobody seemed to have the same feeling as did. The girls were all gooey-eyed, amazed by how two people with different social classes were brought together by the gods: A fated love, they said. Completely overlooking the fact that at least three people died in the process. Considering that the suitors who died were royalties, then there'd be no way that they sailed those ships alone.

The boys on the other hand...

They just didn't give a damn.

And when it was time for the question and answer portion of my report, Teacher Beshy left the class because she had to attend to some business with the faculty. Completely astounded, I gathered the courage to ask them if they had any questions regarding the story.

'Please don't ask.'

'Please don't ask.'

'Please don't ask.'

'Please don't ask.'

'Please don't ask.'

I pleaded in my head but to no avail because one curious guy just had to raise his hand and ask a darn question. I looked at Craige and reluctantly acknowledged him.

'Except for the silver rings in his eyes, I'm really starting to hate everything about him.'

He's too diligent.

Too attentive.

Too participative.

Too attractive.

Scratch the last one.

He stood up and with that voice that's also another 'too' he asked, "You said that they fell in love at first sight. But do you think that what Maring felt for Duque was love and not just physical attraction? How do you know if it's really love and not just some kind of infatuation?"

'Thank you so much for that wonderful question.'

'I believe that they really didn't love each other. Otherwise, they would have not relied on the gods and fought for their love instead.'

'Right?'

'Ts.How the hell am I supposed to know?!'

I kept the smile on my face and answered Craige with as much composure as I could manage. "Whether we admit it or not, it all begins with physical attraction, right? They got attracted, went out of their way to get to know each other, and even prayed to the gods out of desperation. So, if we're going to base this solely on the context of the story, then I think it would be safe to assume that what they had was love. As for your second question... since it's not really something about the story but rather my personal opinion, you're welcome to ask it in private later. Thank you."

'Oooohh.. Zeanne Haile! That was really smooth, you hypocrite! I'm so proud of you, Self!'

Craige nodded, looking really thoughtful.

'He's one uncanny guy. That's for sure.'

Despite receiving all those attention from the guys and girls in class, he didn't seem to be boastful and above himself. In fact, he turned out be a really well-mannered and humble person. For example, he would always say 'Please' and use honorifics to anyone, regardless of their age. And that was quite impressive at this day and age, if I may say so. And one could just not help but appreciate that trait of his, especially if he was constantly surrounded by selfish and immature people with no care about common manners or basic etiquette.

Like this guy, who raised his hand, for example.

I gritted my teeth, forcing myself to acknowledge him since we're still in the middle of discussing my report. "Yes, Arthur."

He grinned at me, which signaled trouble, then stood up with his hands folded in front of him. "Am I also welcome to ask a 'rather personal' question, Zee?"

'NO.'

Or at least that's what I badly wanted to say. I gritted my teeth and glared at him. "Later."

"Do you really like, Joshua? If yes, then was it also love at first sight?" He was grinning like Cheshire Cat, making me want to punch a couple of perfectly fine teeth loose.

'Just when the issue finally died down after a couple of weeks.'

'Just when people were about to forget.'

'Just when I'm finally experiencing peace and getting zero attention.'

'You just had to ask that, didn't you Arthur Paige? Knowing that it will annoy the hell out of me.'

I took a deep breath and flashed him an obviously fake smile. "Later, in private, Arthur. Thank you so much." and before anyone else could raise a hand for another irrelevant question; "Now if there's no question related to the story, this has been Zeanne Haile, reporting The Legend of Marinduque from the Philippines. Thank you for listening and for your wonderful cooperation."

I bowed, took my book and went straight to my seat, very aware that everyone was staring at me after my swift escape. But it was only for a second before they engaged in their own businesses, causing the room to become rowdy again.

It has always been like this ever since we've become acquainted with each other; No more 'Western Academy' and 'The Others' barrier. Only Class 1-A. And I've lost count of how many times we've been reprimanded by teachers from other classes for being noisy. There was even a time that the Principal, herself, came to our class to ask us to 'tone it down a little'.

But did we listen? Did we quiet down?

Of course, we did!

The question was, for how long?

The silence would usually last for a maximum of 10 seconds before we start talking again like a bunch of sugar-high toddlers. And I think the teachers had given up on us because it's been a week since we last got reprimanded for our 'very unruly' behavior. Teachers' words. Not mine.

Teacher Beshy didn't return to class even after the bell rang. So as soon as it did, some of us rushed outside to play tag, the class' official pastime. And I was on my way out to watch the game, when I got cornered Craige.

"Hey." He started awkwardly.

I looked at him suspiciously with the gears of my brain operating at full speed. "Eeeyy... no way. You're not seriously asking me 'that' question, are you?"

"Actually, I am." He smiled, which surprised me because it was the first time that I became the receiving party of it. And I'd have to admit that it was pretty. Otherwise, I'd be a bitter hypocrite.

"Why?" I asked, still slightly spacing out because of the smile.

"Why?" He looked confused and tilted his head. "Because I'm curious? And I thought you would know the answer?"

'Whatever gave you that impression?'

I leaned against the door frame, like he did, when one classmate passed between us. Then I looked at him, still not believing that we're actually having this conversation in the doorway. Still I decided to humor him anyway. "So... you wanted to know how you can distinguish love from infatuation?"

'And you think I have the answer to this...why?'

"Yes." He stared at me expectantly and I noticed the gray rings of his eyes turn to almost white against the sunlight, which looked really nice.

I shook my head and tried to look elsewhere as I answered him. "I haven't really experienced what it's like to actually fall in love so my answer would be purely hypothetical."

"It's okay. I just wanted your opinion on the subject."

I really thought hard about it for a few minutes and he just stood there waiting for me. "I've never fallen in love but I've been attracted once or twice before. At that time, even I thought that it was love. But as experts say, once love gets to you, it will drive you crazy and you'll do anything to fight for it. And when the time came for me to choose between love and friendship, I always ended up choosing the latter. So I figured, I was never in love at all. I guess it'll be really hard to distinguish between the two until you completely know and understand the other person. You'll probably never know until after seeing her weaknesses and imperfections. Then despite the obstacles between you two, you still chose to fight for her."

"How about Maring? Despite his princely demeanor, Duque's hugest flaw was definitely his social status. And in my opinion, Maring was not proud of him as he is. That's why she could not confidently tell her father that she's in love with a commoner. Love at first sight is so overrated, don't you think?" He pointed out smoothly.

I chuckled. "Good point. I'll have to admit that I agree with you. And personally, I don't really believe in love at first sight, given that I haven't experienced it myself. But, on that note, I could also not completely refute the possibility of it from actually happening. Maybe it really does happen to some people. One look and BAAAM! You just know that you'd like to spend the rest of your life with this person. No matter what."

"Now, that's just being romantic. Or is it blind faith?" There was a smile in his voice; "But then I guess, that's perfectly normal for a girl."

I frowned, still looking at the ongoing game that was happening in the middle of the field. "You talk like being romantic is a bad thing."

"It's just not my thing." He chuckled and my eyes darted back to him from wandering all over the open field.

'With that pretty face of yours, not being romantic would then be your biggest flaw.'

'But I guess, 'girls' will still dig that.'

I must have been staring too much because he peered at me. "What is it?"

"Nothing." I answered automatically then clamped my lips to remove the smile from my face. "What about you? Do you believe in love at first sight?"

He grinned guiltily. "Actually, I have the same answer as you. Since I've never really experienced that BAAAM, who knows right?"

I eyed him accusingly. "You can't just steal my answer like that."

He raised his hands, still smiling. "Did not! I've always had that thought. I just didn't expect that you would think the same way."

I frowned at him. "So, you asked me that question just so you could bait me into a debate, didn't you? Thinking that I believe in love at first sight."

He looked at the field. "Maybe. Or maybe, I just thought that if I had to ask something in class, might as well ask something I was curious about."

"You really didn't have to ask anything, though." I rolled my eyes at him. This guy's unbelievable.

"If I didn't, then who will?"

"Arthur will." I said quietly.

"He only asked after I did." He pointed out then shrugged. "Besides, I didn't want you to think that nobody was listening or participating after doing your best to prepare for that report."

His words made me recall the time when he presented his report in class. He did really well in explaining each point and lessons of the story that he left no room for questions. The class was immediately dismissed, and I envied him for that, wishing that the same would happen to me when my turn comes. But after hearing his words, it made me think about it in a whole new light. "Was that how you felt?"

"Maybe..." He looked like he was still about to say something, but we noticed Trixie approach us.

"Hey, guys. You look so serious in your discussion. Mind if I join in?" She asked while flashing her signature smile.

Craige looked at me as if asking if I minded, so I shrugged and smiled at Trixie. "It's okay, Trix. We're done discussing, anyway."

"Then can I ask Craige something?" She beamed at me.

'Why are you asking permission from me?'

Then she added. "Alone."

"Oh." I see. I'm being dismissed. "Sure, go ahead."

"Thanks for that, Zeanne." Craige said just when I was about to leave the two of them alone.

'Zeanne... are we on first name basis now?'

I smiled back at him. "Any time, Cra--Clinton."

***

Dear Dairy Milk,

What's wrong with me? Why do I feel so awkward around that guy?

.

.

.

Fine. I admit. I'm always awkward.

But when that guy is around it just gets worse.

What's so hard about saying his damn name?!