Chapter 11

"I'm leaving in three weeks..." I announce to Sebastien, tears pickling my eyes.

We were sitting at our now usual tree and I decided to tell him what my dad sent me in the morning.

"I'll miss you Ethan..." He told me, whispering.

Frowning, I looked at him and said : " You are going back to paradise before I leave Sebastian. I promised."

He smiled nostalgic before taking my hands and told me : " Do you really think I would go to paradise Ethan ? You didn't know me when I was still alive... You don't know how bad I could be..."

"Listen, you maybe did not so good things before but I can tell now that you are a kind hearted friend. I love you as a brother now and I really think that you deserve your place in Paradise." I told him, smiling faintly as I took him in my arms, doing massages on his back.

" Ethan, I'm scared." He confessed, his voice barely audible to the human ear.

"What are you scared of ?" I asked in the same tone of voice.

"Scared of what will happen when the truth will be discovered... Scared of us being separated... Just scared of dying truly..." He said on the verge of breaking down and I holder him even tighter.

" You will never die Sebastien because you will always live in my heart." I whispered in his ears as the tears flooded on my cheeks. " You are my best of friends, my first true one, and I will never forget who you were and what you did. I love you so much that it will be impossible for you to die truly." I said in a joking tone even if inside, my heart was tearing apart.

I didn't want to leave him, I didn't want to let him go, I didn't want him to die.

"One day, you will forget about me Ethan. When you will have a wife and children, you will only have a faint memory of me... I know that." He said, him also crying.

"Sebastien, if me telling you that I will never forget your ghost, then what about the thought of Archie ? In paradise, you will be together again..." I comfort him, knowing that what he just said wasn't true. He was the kind of guy to be never forgotten...

And instead of answering, he holds me even tighter, making my ribs crack but I didn't yelp from the pain or from the surprise because I knew he needed to feel alive. He wanted to feel alive and not some ghost that passes through people who didn't acknowledge his presence. And I was the only one he could do that as I was the only one he could actually touch.

So, instead of talking, I hugged him even more than I hug my parents. Sebastian was the only one who could understand me, who could comfort me. He was truly by friend.

"Ethan, I have something to tell you..." He muttered after a few seconds. "I'm not Sebastian but Archie." He revealed, pulling apart from the hug.

I just looked at him, startled, dumbfounded, shocked and whatever else expression. What did he mean by that ? Not Sebastien but Archie ? So he lied ? From the start ?

I couldn't even say a word, not a sound, as my heart shuddered in pieces as I just realised the betrayal. I who thought that Sebastian was my friend... Maybe I was from the very start born to be lied too. Maybe I was too easily trustful... Maybe everyone wanted to get close to me just to mock behind my back...

Maybe I was just meant to be betrayed all my life...

"You promise you would never leave me Sebastien." I told him, crying and shouting for the last time at him. At this boy...

And I left the chestnut tree, my eyes closed, my chest in pain. I never realised it was that hurtful to be lied too for a week...

It's only been a week we've know each other and I never spoke to Archie... I always talked to the one I thought was Sebastien... I thought it was him who comforted me and made promised when actually, it was Archie...

Everything was about Archie.

As I ran inside the empty building, I bumped into Izzy chest who held my arm to stop me from falling.

" Ethan? What happened dear ? Why are you crying ?" He asked worried but I didn't listen.

All I was thinking was about Sebastien... Or Archie... I didn't know how to call him, who he was.

" Hey Ethan, don't faint ! Stay awake, I'm bringing you to the nurse !" He yelled but his voice was becoming fainter and fainter, as if he was walking away...

I clutched on his uniform, terrified that I would be once again left alone. I didn't want to be lonely, I wanted to have a friend ! A friend just like Sebastien was... Unless Sebastien wasn't Sebastien but Archie... My head was cloudy as my thoughts started to mix up and even tears would flood even harder. I didn't want to be alone ! I didn't want to be dead... I wanted a friend... A shoulder to cry on.

Izzy took me on his back and started running in the corridor, repeating I should stay awake. But for who should I stay awake ? For these prefects who seemed to hide so many things or for my parents ? I couldn't tell...

And as my mind became darker, all the good moments I spent with Sebastian, or Archie..., came back.

His laugh laugh, his jokes, his concern, his promise... I who though he would always stay true and clean from all lies. Finally, I was wrong. And it seemed I was wrong on a lot of things recently... Wrong on who I should trust, wrong on who was my friends, wrong everywhere in everything.

And slowly, I started wondering if I shouldn't leave this school to be safe from everything that happened. To be protected from any dangers coming from the outside... And I would have my parents with me, they would hug me to comfort me and they would never lie. I wanted to go home. I wanted to be with my parents even if I was a burden to them. I wanted so deeply to be back somewhere familiar too me, somewhere I knew where people would break my already shadered heart, somewhere where I would feel home.

I wanted to go home.