I Still Remember You

Emptyness
Yes, That's this feeling. I thought opening my eyes.
I feel as if I've been cut off, a piece missing, lost in the universe, blindly searching...but for what?
It's strange though.
I thought as I glanced around at the other members. Who are sitting on the same couch, vigorously watching the group performing on the screen.

Such Enthusiasm? I thought to myself with a shake of my head.
"Sigh"... It's such a foreign feeling, to me now.
Thinking about the past. Would I look like them, right now? Would I also be that joyous and enthusiastic in appearance.
I shake my head again.
No. This is my life now and I'm not the same me as I was back then.

I sighed again, which caught the attention of Jin. Who shot me a concerned look. So I gave him a small smile and nod, as to say I'm fine.
This appeared to satisfy him some what. If not for the occasional side eye he was giving me. I rolled my eyes and shifted my attention away from him. Feeling a slight sting of regret in my chest that I'm still troubling the other members.
I looked up at the screen at our on-going performance introduction. Focus drifting to the date running across the bottom of the screen: 6.22.19.

Has it really been a month that's gone by now?

I closed my eyes, thinking back to that day, a month and a half ago.

The warm, solid, and realistic feeling of her in my arms.
I'm happy, but not really. She's leaving and I know I should be happy. Cause for a while now she's been lost. I found her when no one else was looking or even knew how to help her.
Now she knows where she belongs.
Ahh... but it's killing me.
She's crying.
I can hear her faint sobs and the shaking of her body. I can also feel a slight dampness forming on the right side of my shirt. Where she is laying her head against my chest underneath my chin.

She was so happy just a while ago after learning where she needs to be. However, reality has set in and its time for her to go. Which is not with me.
But...
I still have this selfish desire that she will stay and choose me instead.

The seconds tick by while I held her in my arms. I can still remember the sensation of her receding form in my arms. Then complete absence.

I still miss her...