Chapter 6

I woke up the next morning and the pounding in my head was much worse. My throat could have been a desert with how dry it was. The only bright side was warren seemed to have tired from the attention of the girls and could be sleeping at the foot of my bed.

Despite the lack of energy, I struggled out of bed. After the morning routine I returned to the courtyard, where Lily happily abused me for two hours. I did not bother returning to my room and directly headed to the bath. The warm water immediately helped my muscles relax, and at this hour the bath was empty, the girls liked to bathe at night, perhaps in the future I would start bathing in the morning all the time, to get a little privacy.

In my mind I started going over what I read in the book about the cultivation method. It had said that to begin one must first empty their minds, feeling their own body. Starting with a single deep breath, inhaling in, exhaling all thoughts worries and memories. It reminded him of meditation or yoga, something that he had dabbled with in his previous life. There where was some minor differences, but the overall process was the same. To start a person should sit in a relaxed position. Slowly getting used to the sensation, and with practice, a lot of practice a person would be able to move while maintaining this sense. Until one day you would always be in it. It was only while one was in this zone would they be able to access their essence. This of course was only a rough outline, people's abilities and aspects would alter the method, or the state of mind a person had to be in for it to work.

I had a feeling that my ability to tap into essence would not be so peaceful. Based on my experience so far it had to do with this hunger. After all wasn't a vampire bound by their hunger. Bound by their endless bloodlust, their desire to drink the essence of others?

I cleared my mind, inhaling and exhaling as the method taught. Seconds passed, they turned into minutes, or perhaps it was hours. The sensations of my external body slowly began to fade away. I was left only with two things. The first was the hunger that was decaying my very soul. The desire to feed. The second was the thumping of my own heart. In this state they were both enhanced, the beating of my heart was so loud that nothing in the outside world could interfere. Nothing could get past that horrific rhythm that I could not escape.

BUDUM BUDUM BUDUM

My hearth thumped its rhythmic pattern, but I could tell a subtle difference. This feeling was just like the book described!! This feeling was essence. If my heartbeat was the source of my essence then, what Alucard experienced was literally the starvation of his essence! That's why the beat was getting slower! Because there was less essence.

The sudden realization shook my inner world, and I was forcefully ejected. Blood poured from my mouth as I coughed it up. The world around me was spinning, slowly becoming darker.

I woke up on my bed, at some point later. Sweat soaked my body, and I could smell the filth around me, and I could vaguely see through my extremely blurry vision that my originally white sheets had been stained a deep crimson. This was it. It was either awaken or die. But I still had no idea what to do! I couldn't even see, let alone move! My throat was so parched I couldn't speak. The only clue I had was the thumping of my heart.

I cleared my mind, once again entering the state of mental cultivation. The slow rhythmic beating of my heart seemed to slowly start to fade, at least it was not as loud as I remembered, it was beating far slower than It was previously. The essence my body had started with was obviously depleting, it would not take long before I was gone. I could only preserve. My body was useless at this point. The secret had to be with my essence! I needed more, I needed it in any way that was possible. I needed blood.

My pulse was fading, as my essence circulated it felt like sludge, like waiting for cold syrup to come out of the bottle.

drip.... drip.... drip...

There wasn't any time left. My essence was almost gone, and when it disappeared, I would die. I had no idea what to do!!! But I was dying. My life could be measured in seconds. The last of my essence was dripping through my veins. My inner mind went dark.

Am I Dead? The thought echoed through the emptiness. There was no beating of a heart, there was no sound, there was no sight. There was nothing. Just endless emptiness. This is it. I must have died. Death seems... well kind of lame. I thought there was supposed to be some grand after life. Angel's and clouds, or fire and brimstone? Or at least a sense of peace. But this was nothing. Just me and my thoughts echoing through the void.

As if my thoughts were an ember that lit the fire, a series of images started to play in front of my... eyes? No, I had no eyes, I was just a disembodied soul, if it could even be called that.

A tall man in a white coat, his hairline had long since receded. There was a lot of pressure. It hurt so much, why was I here? Shouldn't I be in the wariness of the womb?

The womb? Why was I here? Why was I viewing what appeared to be my birth? This didn't matter.

The pain came to an end, and yet I did not let out a cry, how could I? There was no air in my lungs. There was only pain, pain around my neck. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. The tall man looked at me, a deep sense of sadness in his eyes as he picked up my corpse. He removed the cord, but it was too late. My lungs would not move.

The man shook his head, his eyes were very sad as he laid me. Corpse on my mother's chest. Tears flowed from her eyes as she stroked my head. My baby boy, my little John. She screamed, holding me tight. Tears flowing from her eyes as she screamed. I want to help her! I need to help her! If only my lungs would move!! I'm still here mom!! I'm still here!!

What can I do??? I can't move! Wait!! What about essence?? Can't I just use my essence to make my heartbeat?? This body has so much life! I can feel its essence overflowing. I focused on my inner world, I couldn't breathe, but that was just ceremony wasn't it? I could feel the overwhelming essence inside this body. It was enough! It had to be enough! What had the telekinesis manual said? That's it's just force? It could be used for anything. The essence around me stirred as I focused my thoughts, all I needed was some air, I just needed to get air into these lungs. If they would just move then it would be enough, I could be saved!

I focused the essence, but it wasn't enough, each wave of essence that I tried to send would dissipate before it got to the lungs. My control wasn't enough! Even though the amount of essence this small newborn body of mine had it been far more than my dying body held it wasn't enough! But if that's the case why not just take more??? There was so much essence around. My mother's body for example! Her essence was overflowing, from her grief, the pregnancy, or her own hood luck I do not know. But she had it! She was offering how could I not take it???

I reached out with my mind, her vitality which was such a deep blue I comer calling me with all that it had. I reached out with the essence I had, finally getting a small drop from the river I was sending to reach her deep blue essence. The crimson color of my essence stood in stark contrast to her blue. The colors began to mingle, the crimson changing the blue into purple as it began feeding back into my body.

I did not have time to admire my work as I sent the renewing essence to my lungs. If I did not have the control, I would just overwhelm it with sure amount! If a drop couldn't make it. Then what about ten drops. If ten drops weren't enough then I would send a hundred. If one hundred wasn't enough then I would send a thousand!

My mother's essence rapidly drained as I used it to fuel the telekinesis towards my lungs, sweat dripped from my mental brow as I struggled to live. There wasn't enough! I needed more. A nurse was standing close to my mother trying to comfort her. Her essence was green, not as vibrant as my mothers, but it did not matter. It would soon be mine. Another red drop of essence soon made its way I to her essence pool, turning the essence into another stream I to my own.

Finally, it was enough! Finally, I could make my lungs move! Budum budum, Oregon slowly made its way to my heart, and my heart pushed it through my body. I let out a large wail as a mouthful of oxygen entered my lungs. I was alive. I WAS ALIVE!!

I was forced out of the memory. The familiar Budum of my heart could be heard, and my vision started to return. I was staring at the ceiling, I was too weak to move, and I was still craving essence. But I was alive!