A Final Letter

Covered in many layers of clothes, 'The Old Man' appeared in front of my house as I was dragging the woman's corpse out of my house. Aya was by his side, walking together with him. The Old Man stopped when he saw me, leaving some distance between us. Aya wanted to walk closer, but I signaled her not to.

I heard The Old Man grumble and hum. I stopped what I was doing and looked at him. Before I could speak, he did.

"It looks like your materialist mind failed to save yet another flower..." he scoffed.

"Stop mocking me and think of the people!" - I couldn't say this out loud.

Since I had come to this village, I was hated by The Old Man. By him, I was accused of not having a heart, choosing matter over spirit, not valuing human life, failing every task at hand, being a waste of land, speaking in foreign scripts and so on. Clearly, he was upset about my very presence in the village; according to him, perhaps, everything could be healed by meditating or prayer. Medicine was the work of devil, and my job was only a little different than witchcraft.

Even though I knew how to debunk every single one of his retrogressive spiritual "miracles", I just preferred staying away from him. We two were perhaps the most respected living individuals in the village, and getting into a fight wouldn't serve any good purpose.

EITHER WAY, IT WOULDN'T BE LONG UNTIL THE POOR, WEAK OLD MAN CAME CRAWLING TO MY CLINIC ONE DAY.

I brushed off the negative thoughts quickly. It was not the right time to be hostile. It was clear, at some points in life, we would need each other. We would, if both of us lasted long enough.

"Greetings to the much respected elder..." I said, bowing to The OId Man. "Some unfortunate events took place here."

My kindness surprised him a little. Other times, we would usually exchange mocking phrases and go our own way.

"My dear was in such a haste..." The Old Man replied in a similarly kind way, looking at and referring to Aya. "I wish that it was for something nicer."

"We have a funeral." I said, then paused for a few seconds. "Funerals."

"It can't wait until morning, doctor?" The Old Man asked. "Our neighbours won't be able to attend to a funeral at this time!"

"They better not." I said. "These bodies are infected by a deadly disease which transmits so quickly. I need to handle them myself, and I don't want anyone coming close. I only need your wisdom to grant their spirits peace as we send them to the other world."

The Old Man looked down. It was the first time he faced a situation like that. Usually, the whole village would attend to someone's funeral, and it would be done in a more traditional way.

"It is for the well being of everyone, including you." I said. "If we don't do it now, more peo-."

I felt a strange pain in my stomach. I held the spot with my hand, and continued speaking.

"If we don't do it, more people will die."

"This is indeed an odd occassion." The Old Man said. "Don't these people have relatives?"

"Please, we have to go as soon as possible." I urged him.

"If you say it is that urgent, I am not the one to stop you." The Old Man said.

"Thank God!" I said. "Thank you for answering my prayers!" I teased The Old Man with some religious quotes. "I will be back shortly. Aya, stay with The Old Man. Wait for me here."

I got back inside the house, and into the bathroom. My other patient, Mr. Yunus was sitting inside. He was still alive, but he wouldn't be for long. Either the disease would kill him, or...

Or I would.

I found more of the plant I've given him to smell earlier. I used the lantern's fire to light up the smelly leaves, and put them in the bathroom for Mr. Yunus to breathe in. He would pass out (again) in no time.

Meanwhile, I closed the bathroom's door and waited outside. After around a minute, I came back in and quickly got the now-unconscious man out.

Just before I could drag him out of the house, I stopped. I looked at Mr. Yunus' face, then out of the window to see if Aya or The Old Man were watching inside the house. They weren't.

I looked back at my patient.

"I am sorry..." I said. "I can't risk it."

I gently left him on the ground, and went to the tiny kitchen which was connected to a nearby room.

There, I went ahead and picked the largest knife I could find, the one I would usually use to chop raw meat. Then, I remembered to lock the house's door.

I did so, and I also closed the curtains. I got the grinder to sharpen the knife as nicely as possible. After spending some suspicious amount of time inside the house, I came back to where I left my patient. I raised his head and put it over my lap. I got the knife comfortably in my hand, and placed it gently pressing against his throat.

"Please forgive me. May your spirit be in peace."

With a swift move, it was done. I didn't give it a second thought.

I couldn't risk him waking up in the middle of his own funeral.

The man's whole body contracted, his limbs moved randomly as I hardly kept his head in place. The hot red blood flushed down, onto my legs and the floor. It lasted for several seconds, but felt like an eternity. It would be the first and the last time I would have done anything like that.

I was sweating. I knew my face was red, and so were my pants.

I gently threw the knife to the side.

I found some paper and ink in my room, and I wrote a little note to put in my pocket.

I hastily dressed the man, unlocked the door and got the body out, still bleeding from it's neck but at a decreased rate. At this point of the disease which had completely covered his body and started to rip the man's skin apart, who could really understand the difference between a deep cut and a shallow open wound on the skin? It was all completely red! There was little skin left, and the rest was flesh!

Despite the body being dressed, the moment The Old Man saw the body, he shivered.

"His death better not have been THAT painful." he commented.

"One last thing, I need to do..." I said and went back into the house.

I looked around the rooms and found all the remaining oil for the lanterns I had. I poured it down all around the house. I got one of the lanterns in my hand, and stepped outside the house for one last time.

"Say goodbye, Aya." I said.

She looked at me with a terrified face. I could read her sadness from her eyes.

"Goodbye." I repeated as I threw the lantern inside. The lantern hit the ground and rolled on the floor just before setting the carpet on fire, which quickly lit up everything inside the room.

Aya's eyes filled with tears. Mine did as well. This house was my sacred place; it was the clinic which had taught me how to be the light in the darkness in this small village forgotten by everyone except their neighbours.

"Look, Aya." I said. "I want you to stay with our neighbours for a while, okay?"

"Dad..." she said. "Why? What is going to happen?"

"Nothing, I just want you to be safe until I come back. You can't stay outside. Everyone in the village knows you already, there is no one who would hurt you here. Just ask for shelter, and you will be welcomed." I said.

"Your father is right." The Old Man helped me for the first time in years. "Go, stay with your neighbours."

I got my little note out of my pocket and gave it to Aya.

"Give this to a literate adult after I go to the temple with The Old Man." I said. She nodded and started running to our neighbour's house.

"Aya!" I shouted. She turned back. I got a good, long look at her. "I love you."

"I love you too, father!" she said before continuing on her way.

"I don't understand what you are doing, but I wish the best for her. Maybe staying away from such a crazy father is better for her." The Old Man said. I frowned, and he looked away.

I got the corpses and started dragging them on the snow. With the old man, we were headed to the temple.

"A little respect for the dead." The Old Man said. "You have to carry them properly. What would you feel if the same was done to you?"

"Worse is going to happen to me, I'm afraid." I replied. "I have no time, dotard."

It was The Old Man's turn to frown, even though he didn't really understand me.

"What was in that note you gave to your little girl?" The Old Man asked.

"Nothing important." I said. The Old Man didn't ask for a second time.

I tried to remember what I wrote...

***********************

"Dear Compatriots,

Thank you for taking care of my daughter. Unfortunately, by the time you are reading this letter, I will be long gone from the Yuvakaya village, with your much respected Old Man.

When I am gone, the village will be left without any healthcare service. Please find an educated person to send a request to the governor, he will know how to get a new doctor assigned to Yuvakaya. In the meanwhile, the closest healthcare center is the cottage hospital in the nearby Usuloyuk village.

My house and clinic in the west wing of the village will burn down. This was necessary to prevent the spreading of a new deadly disease I've encountered recently. After the fire dies out, you can use the land in any way you want; but first, I highly recommend and urge you to burn down all the plants in the vicinity before entering. If any of my belongings survive the fire, set it on fire again, from afar. This is for the well-being of the village. You've trusted me with your lives for the numerous years I've served in Yuvakaya, so trust me one last time.

If possible, please send my daughter to a village with a school as soon as you can. When she grows up, don't stop her from moving to the city if she wants to do so. She is a clever girl, and she knows what she is doing.

When the next doctor arrives to the village, give him this note. At the back of this paper is a description of the disease I've encountered and the treatments I tried. Perhaps he will know better than me.

And finally, thank you all for being such a nice community. I wish you a better tomorrow.

Goodbye."

***********************

Despite all the strict precautions I had taken, letting my daughter roam around in public was undoubtedly the biggest risk I was taking in my medical service history. This was contrary to every action I had taken during my life - I would sacrifice everything to ensure a safer and healthier life for others. According to my beliefs, this was what being a doctor was about. But when it finally came to my daughter...

As a father, I did not have the power to chain her, or something more intense... The only thing I could do was wishing for the best now.