04 The Memory

Growing up as a child could be the best memory for everyone except me. I was bullied when I was young. The main reason why I think I grew up as a boring person, afraid to make friends with others, someone who doesn't have self-confidence and is afraid to trust. I remember being slapped on the face by my classmates in the restroom a couple of times.

"You shouldn't be in this school. You look like a witch. Look at your hair, and your eyes! You are different." The exact statements I could hear from a group of girls who kept chasing after me every break time.

I went home many times without my backpack, not knowing where it was. My mom had to come to school many times to ask my teacher what happened to my things. Interestingly, my bag will be back on my desk the next day and so my mom thought I was just forgetful and careless.

I didn't understand why these girls hated me so much. I didn't remember doing anything bad to them. Even though I wanted to fight back, I couldn't. I just cried every time they pick on me, feeling hopeless.

I grew up always alone at home because my mom had to go to work, and my dad? I haven't met him ever since. I don't even know who he is. I asked my mom many times but she just said he is already dead and that is everything I needed to know.

The only thing that makes me smile was my neighbor, Cedrick. He used to live next door and he would come in front of our porch every after dinner to play with me. He was very fat and I think he was also bullied in school because I could see scratches on different parts of his body, especially on his face but every time I asked him what happened, he always said he was careless and he tripped or he bumped into something. I had a secret crush on him at that time and I remember how I was always looking forward to meeting him every night. There were times that we had to pretend we were a married couple and considered my dolls as our children. He would just leave my place when my mom came home from work.

When I graduated from primary school, I and my mom had to move to another city because her company reassigned her to their new branch office. I remember asking my mom for me to just stay in the place, she could just visit me every weekend and that would be fine with me because I didn't want to leave Cedrick. He was the only friend I had and he was the only reason why my childhood was happy.

Saying goodbye to him was the saddest day of my life.

"When can we meet again? Can I visit you? Where will you transfer?" Cedrick said looking so sad.

"Mom said we have to take the airplane for 2 hours and I don't know where that place is. I guess I should be the one to visit you," I replied.

"Will you write me letters? Will you call me?" he asked.

"Of course, I will write letters every day. I will ask mom to send it for me," I said.

"I will miss you so much. You are the only friend I have. I am very happy every time I am with you. Who will I be playing with now?" Cedrick was already crying.

I just hugged him and told him "Me, too. I will miss you a lot."

…

Is it really him? How can I not recognize him?

"Hello, are you still there? It's really me, Jez. I have been waiting for the day I can finally meet you again. How have you been? I want to know everything that happened to you since you left," he said.

I can't believe it is really him. I have written letters to him before but were not able to send them. I kept all the letters waiting that one day I would be able to give them to him personally.

"Jez?"

"I can't believe it is really you. I am speechless. How could you recognize me? You look very different that's why I never thought that it was you." I explained.

"I don't look fat anymore, right? Haha! And more handsome of course. You know I was disappointed at you before. You didn't send me any letters. I was waiting the whole time. I wanted to write you letters but I didn't know where to send them."

"I am sorry. I was busy." I lied.

"That's it? You were busy? I really missed you that time. How could you not send me letters just because you were busy?" He sounds disappointed.

"I am sorry but that was the truth."

"Okay, I can't do anything about that? Anyway, how are you? Are you married now? Boyfriend? Do you have a child? Tell me! I want to know everything that happened to you! Ah no, I want you to tell them to me personally. When can we meet? I will be free tomorrow night? How about I pick you up from your workplace? Where is it anyway?" He seems excited.

"I am not sure about tomorrow. I will send you a message." I still can't believe the fact that I am actually talking to him now. I have waited for a long time to get any news about him. I have always been curious of how he is and what he is doing. And now I am talking to him, and I don't know what to tell him.

"You don't seem happy to meet me? Are you okay? Is there anyone who would be angry if we go out?"

"No. I am happy that I finally met you again. I just can't believe this is happening. And no. No one would be angry if we meet. I would love to meet you."

"I really missed you. You don't have any idea how happy I was when I saw you in the bar. I knew it was you when I first saw you but I needed to be sure so I asked for your name."

"Sorry. I didn't recognize you."

"It is okay. I totally understand. Ah! About my last name, remember my mom's boyfriend before? They got married and he adopted me so I am now using his surname."

"I see."

"If only I don't have a gig tonight, I will definitely visit you, too bad, I have to work. I'm really excited to catch up with you. We missed a lot of activities together. Now, we can do all those things that we imagined before. We can watch movies, travel, eat in restaurants, go to bars and meet each other's friends. What do you think?"

"That sounds nice. I would love to do those things, with you." I finally can say how much I want to be with him and how happy I am now to see him again. "Yeah, I think we can meet tomorrow. I will send you the address of my workplace."

"Good. I am really excited! I will see you tomorrow, Jez. I can't wait."

And the call ended.

…

I went to work the next day very happy. I put powder on my face and use eyeliner for the first time. I also put nude lipstick. I brought some make up essentials to work for me to freshen up before meeting Cedrick or should I say Lance. I still can't believe that this is happening and I am so excited for tonight. Is it our first date? Just thinking of it makes me smile. Oh wait, what if he already has a girlfriend or he is already married. But I am sure he won't ask me out if he is taken. I greeted everyone I meet good morning and I know nothing can ruin my mood today.

I already sent Lance my workplace address first thing this morning and his reply was a sweet "Good morning. I can't wait to see you."

I hope it is already 5 pm!

As I sit down on my desk, Annie came to me immediately.

"Good morning. You look different. Did you put makeup?" She tried to touch my face and look at me closely.

"Just a little," I said. "I don't want to look too pale today."

"What happened? There is something you are not telling me. What is it? Spill it!" Annie insisted.

"Nothing. I just want to be more positive and you know, sometimes we need to change ourselves."

"Okay. If you don't want to tell me, it's fine. I will find out about it anyway." Annie seem a bit disappointed.

"If something happens, you will be the first to know. Don't worry."

"Okay. If you say so."

Time passes so fast and I become more and more anxious. At 4:30 pm, I went to the powder room to apply a little makeup and make sure I don't look tired.

When I went out from the powder room, I could sense some eyes following me and I know they are curious about why I am acting this way, but I don't really care. What I know is I am so happy now.

At exactly 5 pm, I got my bag and was about to go out when Annie cornered me again.

"Where are you going? Date?"

"I will tell you tomorrow. Bye!"

I took the elevator immediately and checked my phone. Lance didn't send me a message. I would just wait for him outside.

While I was going out, I was surprised to see Lance already in the lobby with a bouquet of roses in hand. He is wearing a leather jacket with blue tight jeans. He looks very handsome in his neat haircut and you can see how broad his shoulders are. I couldn't help but admire his looks and be proud of myself for I will be going out with this guy.

"Hi. You look very beautiful." He said.

I just smiled. "Thank you."

"Let's go." Lance guided me to the main entrance.

Not far from the entrance, we come across a black motorcycle. I am not sure what kind of motorcycle it is but it looks expensive.

"Is it okay with you to use this one? I find it cool to use this for our first date."

Did he say date? I tried my best not to show how happy I am to hear that I have to pretend that I didn't hear it.

"Sure. Actually, I haven't tried riding a motorcycle yet. I think there is always a first time."

He helped me put the helmet. He put it gently on my head and buckle the strap.

"Is it too tight?" He asked.

"It's perfect."

He put his helmet on and rode the motorcycle.

"Hop in," he asked.

"Okay. How can I do that?"

"Hold my shoulder. That's it. Then put your leg here. Good. Then ride. Good girl. Hug me okay? And you have to hold tight." He instructed.

I was smiling the whole time I was at his back. He smells really good. I'm sure it will be a good night.