The Parting

"Hahahahahahahahaha!" The lobby was filled with his laughter. I removed my arms immediately from wrapping his neck and got up from my seat.

"Come here, sorry. I didn't mean to tease you. Sit down. I won't do it again." Colin said

I was still confused of what was happening. We were both serious talking about our plans a while ago when he initiated the first move. What is happening now? I look at him in total confusion.

"Sorry. Come here. Sit down." He grabbed me by the arm and sat me to the chair where I used to sit.

"I now know why your husband didn't take you seriously. You are too naive, too innocent."

I was still staring at him blankly. I feel so humiliated.

"You trust others easily and you don't know how to say no when someone asks you something. Life isn't like that. You should always use you brain before doing something. People will take you lightly and they will take advantage of you because you just give in so easily." He explained. His explanation didn't make me feel better. It's the most embarrassing thing that happened to me in my whole life.

"So everything is a joke to you? How could you play at other people's feelings? You were just making fun of me all this time!" I didn't want to cry in front of him but I can't control my emotions.

"It's not like that. I wasn't making fun of you. I'm teaching you a lesson. You should not trust others easily, including myself if it will make you feel better."

"You are like my husband!"

"Never ever compare me to that bastard!" His expression changed, from being compassionate to someone who is angry.

He let out a deep sigh. "If you're thinking that I played with your feelings by asking you to marry me then you're wrong. I meant it when I asked you to marry me. I'm not the type of person who makes a deal with someone without thinking about it."

"So you think this is all but a deal?"

"No, what I'm saying is everything is real. Sorry for laughing at you and sorry for making you confused. I want to do it with you, I would love to! But I want to do it right. We are getting married not because of love but if we do that, we will do it not because of our body needs it, we will do it because we like each other. I'm not like any man who would jump in someone's bed without feeling anything for that person."

"Then what about the wife's duties?"

"Hahaha! Sorry. We didn't talk about that last night. I was just kidding. I find your reaction very cute so I didn't correct it."

"You're so bad. You're also like other men!"

"I told you not to compare me with your husband!" He looks furious this time.

"I didn't say you were like my husband."

"Who else would you compare me with?"

"I said other men."

"Don't be stubborn." He then gave me a tight hug. "I promise to protect you and Athena and I mean it. I will not let anyone hurt you, Athena and anyone you love." He let me go and held my cheeks with both hands. "Don't always accept what other people tell you. You have to be strong and you have to learn how to say no."

"Then, let's cancel the wedding."

"Haha! You're really stubborn. The plan is already done. I will call my secretary tomorrow to start looking for a wedding planner."

"I told you I want the wedding to be simple, why do we need a wedding planner?"

"Yeah, and I said yes. But we still need a wedding planner so she can prepare everything. We still need a dress for you, the food, the place, that's stressful."

"People here can help!"

"You said you will listen to me if I agreed that we would have a simple wedding."

I couldn't argue with him anymore. I don't know why he could make me follow to anything he says or maybe that's really my personality and I didn't really know that I'm a 'yes-woman'. I said maybe again.

"Do you feel better now?" He asked with a wide smile. He looks attractive when he smiles. He is already in his early forties but he doesn't look his age. Many people would agree if I say he looks like he's in his early thirties.

"I don't know."

"Do you really want to do it with me? We can go to my room now," he said grinning.

"Stop it! It's embarrassing."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and I faced away from him but he pulled me closer. "I want to do it with you too but not now, okay?"

"I said stop it!"

"Did I make you feel shy? Sorry." He seems to be a sweet guy. His wife made a big mistake in leaving him.

"I feel better now. I guess you're correct in saying I don't know how to reject others."

"You said the forbidden word, guess." Using his left hand, he held my right cheek and forced me to face him then gave a soft kiss on the lips. "Say it again and I will kiss you deeper." I turned away from him as fast as I could. I could feel my face burning. He held me closer again and leaned his chin on my shoulder. "Let's stay in this position for 5 minutes more okay? I feel comfortable here." He said.

There was silence after. No one spoke a word. I guess we both miss the feeling of cuddling or being cuddled, to be at peace. I could feel his fingers teasing my tummy but I never stopped him. I also feel comfortable in this position, something I haven't felt for a long time. I just hope I'm making the right decision. I hope this won't lead me to another heartache.

We were in that position for a long time. No one complained even we both knew that 5 minutes is up. We just enjoyed the moment, the moment when we felt distant from reality.

"You can take a rest. I will fix everything tomorrow. I'm sure the divorce trial will take longer than usual since I'm sure he wouldn't sign the papers that easily but don't worry, I won't let you nor Athena meet him until the day you're free from him."

It was like a dream, a dream I never thought would be a reality. That night, I slept without any worries.

The next day was a regular day. I got up with Sarah already at the motel. The reception area was cleaned and there was no trace that would say some people hung out in this place. I drove home and did the usual stuff. When the day ends, I went back to the motel and met Colin, drink beer and talk the whole night.

Four days later, Colin said good bye because of an emergency from the company. I didn't want him to leave but his company should be his priority. I became more fond of him for the last days that we were together. He was never demanding anymore and he never asked anything from Sarah which made her feel more relaxed. He also gave me his phone number so I could call him anytime I miss him, that's according to him of course. I know myself, I fall for someone easily, maybe, or should I say definitely because I long for someone's attention and affection since I was young, the main reason why I got involved with the likes of Lance and Geoff. But I guess I'm a different woman now, I have to prioritize Athena over myself and my feelings. I'm doing this to ensure my daughter's protection from her father. It may sound like I'm using Colin, but as I've said, I will do everything for my daughter. I can only see one problem now, I think I have a growing feeling for Colin, I'm falling for him, which means I'm still the same woman I used to be. I'm doomed. Why am I so stupid?

Five days has passed and still no call nor text from Colin. I miss him terribly but I promised myself I would never make the first move in contacting him. I tried to divert my attention to other things at home like gardening and creating artworks with Athena.

"Joan, are you okay?" Danny shouted!

"Why?" I was startled. "Did I do anything wrong?"

"What are you doing with the banana? You sliced almost everything. Are you planning to include it with the egg? Are you now creating your own dish?"

"Ah! I will make banana shake," I lied. Actually, I didn't know why I sliced them.

"Is something bothering you?" She asked.

"Nothing. I'm just tired. I couldn't sleep for the past nights."

"Then something is really bothering you. What is it?"

"I told you, it's nothing. I'm okay." I smiled to assure her that everything is fine. I can't tell her yet about Colin, not until I'm sure that he isn't the guy I'm afraid he is. I tried to convince myself that he is not like Geoff but with what happened to me, I couldn't help but be doubtful with other people, especially men. I'm also sure Danny will nag me continuously if she finds out I made myself a fool again. I was frying the egg when my phone rings. When Danny heard it, she took the phone immediately and answered it. I hope it's not him.

"Hello!" Danny

"Yeah, who's this? (pause) Why are you looking for Joan? What do you need from her? (pause)" She is sounding aggressive now.

"Give me the phone," I said but she signalled me to be quiet.

"What will you tell her? I can relay the message. What is it? (pause) Divorce? What divorce?" Her eyes widened. Why am I feeling so tense now?