Begins

Who will I want?

A he? Lord knows many he's have done me wrong. Didn't let me have good sex. Never cared that I tried because I wasn't beautiful enough. Always needed something from me but managing not to put into our relationship at all.

Men are strong. Men are stupid but have instincts that may kick in if I don't move fast enough.. what about a weaker man? He won't fight me as hard. He might be smarter than me and get away. That could spell trouble.

If a man can inflate his member in only a few seconds then why wouldn't he be able to think on his feet? Because the blood is in the wrong head.

What about her? The first girl I really wanted to be with, I wanted her love and affection. It was forbidden to me because of my religious mother. But I wanted this girl, I kissed her, I shared this forbidden secret with her. She betrayed me and chose to be with twin men instead. How could she chose them over me? They hurt her in the past and didn't even care for her feelings. She still chose them. She wanted a three some with me and a twin, I didn't want him, I wanted her.

Those big dark eyes and the long silky smooth hair. Such a small flexible body without even enough muscle to carry all the groceries in one trip. She needed a woman like me, strong, caring and always looking for the good parts in life.

Was it really so many years ago? I can still imagine the routine we could have, doing facials and hair together and being best friends while being lovers. The two wedding dresses, the wedding could have been beautiful if only she hadn't betrayed me with men.