Chapter 01 - I am...

-Aaaaaahh!

I screamed soundlessly as pain rocked my body, crushing my bones and shredded my flesh. I can't see anything, everything is hazy white as if I was inside a space filled with mist. In a few moments, I can't sense my fingers, then arms, then I no longer can sense my body at all. I feel neither hot nor cold, a strange feeling of freedom filled me for a moment before replaced by searing pain as if my very being was being shredded to pieces.

I don't know how long it was, time seemed to crawl like a newborn baby as pure pain filled my entire body, or whatever remained of it.

When the pain stopped, I almost can't sense anything. As whatever remained of 'me' opened ' my eyes', I realized that at some point my surroundings had changed. Now it is a dark, yet warm space instead of the space filled with mist that felt akin to emptiness from before.

I also didn't feel floating anymore, though a bit of that feeling remained, now I feel as if I am being submerged in a warm, comfortable thick liquid.

Strangely, my eyes didn't get hurt or anything despite the situation of being completely submerged in this...liquid.

At that, I slowly calmed down, I wasn't going to be hurt. At least not now.

After some time had passed, I had calmed down, or at least calm enough to not start screaming and kicking at everything.

I closed my eyes and let myself lost in whatever thing I was submerged in, the strangest feeling of nostalgia and familiarity as if I had experienced it many times before assaulted me, but I didn't feel any panic at all.

Strange, this whole situation is strange.

What had happened to me?

Still closing my eyes, I began to wonder about this mysterious feeling, why can't I remember it...? My memories before...the pain... is fuzzy, all I can tell is I was chatting with someone on my phone in school trip before everything suddenly blacked out.

I also can't remember my name, my parents, or anyone actually. I just got a general knowledge that I was an average high-school girl without friends that was living with my mother and my father, but I can't remember their face at all. Strangely, I feel... nothing. Shouldn't I feel panicked to not remember the face of the people who had raised me from my birth?

...weird.

Now, where am I?

I am in a dark, almost pitch black space and is being submerged in a warm, comfortable thick liquid.

...some things come to mind, but I rather ignore them as I don't want to imagine if one day my surroundings suddenly lit up and I found myself inside a laboratory with a mad scientist cackling in front of me.

...I hope that wouldn't come true.

I can feel my body now, but I can't move it at all even though I can't feel any restraint, is this what they mean by that vegetative state? Please don't tell me that I am paralyzed. But- no, I don't want to think about it. No.

...There is also a possibility that I am in some kind of medical facility. Though I can't remember the technological level in my country was that high, I am certain that unless my parents were billionaires or the heir of the richest company in the country actually my boyfriend or something along those lines, I will not receive that kind of treatment.

As I am in the middle of deep contemplation, suddenly I feel a great force pushing me from behind.

Wha-!

Without giving me a chance to think, I was keep being pushed.

After some time, I suddenly feel my head get out of the warm and comfortable thick liquid and assaulted by bone-chilling cold before being warm again as I feel something wet and warm covered my head in a moment.

After my head, my upper body came out, then my lower body, and finally my feet come out then I finally realized my situation.

My surrounding is rather dark and blurry, however, I somehow know that I am inside a cave. I can feel the rough yet warm surface of the ground below me as I lay on it while my back is being licked by a giant white cat.

So that's what keeps me warm in this cold outside world, huh.

If a certain someone with thin presence in my class heard what I just said, I am certain that he will instantly look at me as if he just met a comrade.

Comrade bullshit. What the hell is happening here?!

Why am I turned into a kitten?!!!

...

A very, very long time after the shocking realization, I stood in front of a pool of clear water, watching my reflection move its fluffy tail, fluffy feet, fluffy ears- I am the embodiment of fluffiness.

The fluffiest tiger cub in the whole world.

I have a white fur, sharp pure white claws, and two soft-looking pale pink paws. My fur is still short and my stripes were almost as white as my other fur. Only if I looked closely did I could see them enveloping my entire body like other tigers would, with the exception my chest area which was completely white and the tip of my tail which was dark. Also, the fur around my chest especially looks so plushy that it makes me want to snuggle my self into if I am still a human.

...If I am still a human...

I just dug my grave, didn't I? Let just forget about that and enjoy this new life as an ultra-cute white tiger.

I had a pair of beautiful sky blue eyes, the same as my mother, but mine shone a bit more brilliantly. Maybe it's because of my intelligence? Well, whatever. They look beautiful, maybe more beautiful than what I had before.

...

...so, continuing from before, I opened my mouth and look at the two lines of shining white teeth.

Haha, even my teeth are so beautiful!

I look at my surroundings, the light coming from the glowing crystals around the pool is enough to lit up the area. The cave walls seemed to be made naturally, and the glowing crystals were come out from the cracks on the wall. Also after walking around a bit, I noticed that other than the place I usually sleep at with my mother, the ground was made of stone. Because of that, I must be careful while walking so I wouldn't be cut by stones with sharp edges that appeared in my way.

*Roar!*

I stopped my feet that were about to step into the pool of water. My mother was calling me. I sighed as I missed the chance to wash my body, again. I miss taking a bath. I don't want to lick myself anymore. As a former human, and even more so as a girl, I can't let myself accept that I had to lick myself just to be clean. No, never.

Mother can still do it, though. I feel good when she did it, so it's okay.

Even if that seemed to raise a few warnings, I don't care. That was one of the few comforts that I have, I will not give it up for anything until I can bathe myself.

Speaking of bath, actually there was a small pool in our home, but it's for drinking purposes, so I couldn't use it. Afterward, I tried to search for another pool. At first, I tried to use my now much sharper sense to search, but I think the source of water is too deep in the ground since I can't hear anything resembled flowing water while wandering around.

Then, finally, after a week or so I found this place while chasing after a small bat. This place was located inside a small cavern that can be accessed by a small hole on the wall. If not for that bat, I wouldn't ever found this place because there were many twists and turn to reach it. At first, I was too afraid to come closer due to the bright light. I mean, a bright place inside a dark cave like this should be a place of danger, right? Even though I didn't meet any creature other than bats, rats, and, of course, my mother, I didn't want to lose my life due to some curiosity. As they said, curiosity killed the cat.

So, yesterday I came again, observing the place.

What? Do you think I am stupid? Of course not. Curiosity killed the cat, but I am a tiger, so I will not be killed. Tiger is stronger than a cat, after all. Furthermore-

*ROAR!*

Ouch, she sounds angry. I let out my own roar to tell her that I am alright and began to run. My roar sounded just like a tiger pup would, small and cute. But I am sure when I had grown, my roar will surpass my mother. That's certain, I always drink milk and exercising every day, after all. Of course, I will grow to be a great tiger.

After a few minutes, I arrived in a particularly large cavern with glowing crystals dotted the ceiling and walls. Mother immediately spotted me as I came into view and growled.

I tensed, but only for a moment as my mind quickly recognized my mother as not a threat. I walked toward her, as calm as I can, though I can't deny that I still shook a bit.

No matter how I love my mother now, I can't deny that she looked very scary while growling at me that way. The first time, I thought she was going to ate me and passed out cold.

...the early period of time after my rebirth wasn't something I want to remember. Much of the time was spent cowering in fear that mother would eat me, or thinking that all that had happened was only a nightmare and desperately want to wake up. Fortunately, at that time I only need my mother breast milk to survive. If I need to eat bloody meat, then I probably would on the verge of starvation before giving in.

That didn't mean drinking breast milk is good. I don't want to suck nipples again, no matter how good the milk was.

That doesn't matter anymore, though.

A few days ago (counting days in this always well-lit cavern were always confusing because I can't check the sun, and must depend on my irregular sleep schedule as the base), mother brought me a leg of a deer, or what seems to be a deer. With rebirth, giant white tiger as a mother, and all that glowing things, I think it is fair to think that I was in some sort of fantasy world.

Furthermore-

...yeah, I just about to mention that. If I am not going crazy, then that must be the famed System thingy that I once heard from one of my classmates. I also had played a few RPG games so I understand it enough to not screw up. Though, it feels weird to remember things my former classmates said when I can't even remember their name.

Let's just drop it, I can't do anything about it anyway.

...sigh, where was I? Yeah, the System.

It first appeared as I woke up on the second day after my rebirth, telling me that I acquired [Fear resistance I]. I think it appeared because I desperately trying to calm myself down from the memory of the day before.

Also, rather than make me feel better, it just freaked me out as it appeared as if someone just put that inside my mind. My mother who heard my cute kitten scream become alarmed and immediately brought me in her mouth in an attempt to protect me, which only knocked me out cold as I thought she finally ate me because I become too noisy.

...yep, let's not remember those days.

Now, where I was before? Oh, yes, the deer leg. My first experience with raw meat. If I must describe it, the only thing I can say is that it was 'enlightening and messy'.

Why I didn't think that the taste of raw meat was that delicious before? Now I know why those tigers from my old world didn't want to eat cooked meat.

When I was done, nothing was left except bloodstains on the ground.

Grr, thinking about it make me hungry, I hope mother would bring something new. Yesterday she brought a whole rabbit and it immediately becomes my favorite. I don't care that the rabbit was glowing, the only thing I care about is that it is delicious and I want to eat it again. Bones didn't really matter to me because I can chew a stone easily and didn't get hurt.

As my mother lowered her head to stare at me, I forced myself to not shiver at the sight of her sharp teeth.

Calmly, I let my mother sniffing me and rolling me around. She just wants to check that I didn't get hurt. I said inwardly to calm my wildly beating heart.

I thought I would get used to this after a long time, but the sight of her sharp teeth and the smell of blood that clinging to her at up close always make me lose my cool.

Instead, I focused on her eyes. They're big, beautiful blue that seemed to glow in the dark. It always captivated me to see it so close, they are more beautiful than any jewels I can remember and looked so... warm. I can see affection in her eyes as she looked at me.

Ahh, I really love my mother. I hope we would stay like this forever.

It seems that I lost myself staring at her eyes again, really they were so mesmerizing that I suspect she has some sort of hypnotic ability. There's no way that someone could lose themselves just by seeing those beautiful eyes!

As I wake up, suddenly I found myself staring blankly at her as she brought down a huge piece of meat.

FOOD!

I barely managed to hold back from drooling at the sight. It's huge!

From what did mother get it? I can't think of anything with such huge leg and...is that scales?

I took a closer look at my dinner for today.

It's covered with pale brown scales, like the color of muddy water, and the blood smell different from the usual. Also, there were only three fingers/claws like that of a bird. And it smells... fishy.

I looked up at my mother and found her quietly glaring at me as if urging me to eat faster.

I gulped and slowly took a bit.

...it's delicious?

Hmm, there is salty taste when I bit it, but it immediately vanished when I chew it and replaced it with a completely new taste. Hm, it's delicious.

I took another bite, then another. I managed to eat half of it before I'm full.

My mother, receiving my innocent confused look, simply finished what was left in a few seconds then left to rest on the corner where she usually sleeps.

Me? I followed her. My stomach is full and I am feeling rather sleepy.

As I climbed her body, I recalled my first actual sleep after my rebirth.

At that time I was incredibly tired and didn't really notice my surroundings, but when I wake up I was laying on my mother's head.

Naturally, I panicked and accidentally poke her eyes with (thank god) my elbow. She, surprisingly, didn't get angry, she just seemed surprised. She didn't do anything to me other than put me on her stomach and continue to sleep.

I think it was the time when I begin to look at her differently.

Laying on top of her head, feeling the warmth of the fur under me and hearing her steady breath, I closed my eyes and let my mind wander.

I wonder when I will get used to her appearance?

I don't want to become afraid of her just because of how she looks. I noticed that whenever I looked at her in fear, her tail would stop moving. I didn't notice it at first because her tail didn't move at all at that period of time. But, as I began to look at her without fear, I noticed that her tail always moved in certain patterns according to the emotion she felt at the time.

When I drink from her breast, her tail would always move from her back to around me, as if to protect me.

When I go back from my daily adventure, her tail would curve to the side on the ground and move up and down slowly. She looks worried, or at least that's how it is for me.

When I play by myself, her tail would move from side to side like waving. I think it's content or happiness.

And the newest pattern I found was when she brought my food, her tail would move fast erratically. I still don't know what it means, but I had narrowed it down to anticipation or nervousness.

There were other patterns, but they were hard to identify, such as when her tail stopped moving midair. It can mean she was alarmed, or any other thing.

While thinking how we got to this point, once again I realized that I love my mother, no matter how she looks, or what will she do in the future, I will still love her. After all, I wouldn't have her in any other way.

...I would prefer she stop carrying me with her mouth, though. It's uncomfortable.

As I thought of my mother, I recalled my old mother from my old world and frowned. Strangely, I feel nothing about her. Even if my memories were unreliable, shouldn't I at least feel something, like miss her or anything? When I thought of my classmates I felt distant, which was fitting because they weren't my friends. Also... while trying to remember as much as I could from my past, I came across a few...strange memories.

In those memories, I was in school, but unlike usual, I was with someone. I don't remember who he or she was, but whenever I thought about it, I feel a feeling akin to longing, or yearning? I'm not sure. I think he or she may be is my friend and I just miss them, but I feel that there was more about it. Like we weren't just normal friends, it's like we were... more?

...maybe he's my best friend.

As I trying to ignore how right it felt to call my friend is a 'he', my consciousness drifted off and I fell to a dreamless sleep.

...

It was three or four days afterward when I finally managed to have my first real bath.

I couldn't do it earlier because some other things always show up and distract me, such as a bat carrying a fruit (the fruit taste bad, by the way).

There was also a giant rat that trying to intimidate me when I found it. I played with it for the whole day before killing it and brought it back to my mother. She looks disgusted when she saw it and I saw its rotting corpse at one corner in quite far distance from our home the next day.

...I will not bring her rat again. I thought as I immersed myself in the surprisingly warm water. I probably will get cold after this, but I honestly didn't care about it right now.

After trying my best to ignore my dirty body for a long time, I finally can let myself relax.

I thought to rub my back on a rock to clean it, but there is no clean rock in sight. So, I will just pray that I will at least become cleaner afterward.

If one time isn't enough, I will plunge into the water again. The feeling of the warm water is enough to clean my heart.

As I closed my eyes in comfort, I suddenly felt the cave trembled.

I immediately opened my eyes and looked at my surroundings warily in case the one who made the cave shook is nearby.

There is nothing.

I sighed in relief then slowly get out of the water.

It's cold, but it isn't at the level I can't bear.

Looking at my wet fur, a terrible thought of what will happen if my mother saw me soaked wet make me stop.

...I suddenly don't want to go back.