Run, Ashley!

"I'm fat, Jessica. You know how they make fun of me every time I run."

"But that's the point, you need to lose pounds, that's why we run every friggin' morning." My friend Jessica said to me almost to the point of yelling. "Cmon, get your lazy ass out of that couch, and let's get started."

"Alright." I groaned. There's just no fighting Jessica once she is set on something.

I have no other option but to put on my shoes and my favorite sweatshirt and off we go to my own my personal calvary.

On the way to the park, I have to be careful not to jog too fast for two reasons: first, is because my thighs and arms jiggle and this will cause people to stare, or worse, make fun of me; the second is because my thighs rub together creating an annoying ch, ch, ch sound that follows me wherever I go.

Later, we were joined by Jess' boyfriend Marcus, who also is also my friend.

"Baby girl, you look fine today, did you lose some pounds?" He said.

"Yeah. I think I lost two pounds now. Jessica is very focused to help me on my "weight loss journey."

"Wow, already?! That's great news Ash. You too sweetie, you're the most talented coach in Zamboanga."

He gave her a kiss, which make me a little envious. I wonder what would it be like to be kissed? What would I give to experience such endearment?

After a few meters of jogging, I feel really exhausted. The two love birds went on without noticing that I stopped.

My sweatshirt is now drenched and I am panting so I sit under the shade of a tree to rest.

I don't know how long it took me to doze off, but I woke up to the feeling that someone is watching me.

I woke up in horror to see a couple of guys holding a stick and poking my tummy.

"Oh, we're just checking if you're ok. We thought you fainted."

"Get lost!" I shouted at them. Clearly, they are just looking for someone to pick on. I tried hard to get up as quickly as I could, but that made me even look funnier.

"You sounded just like a pig." Another guy shouted as they walk away.

I went home in tears and locked myself in my dorm, that way, Jessica won't be able to bother me later for the senior's send-off party.

My phone kept buzzing at 7:00 PM but I refuse to answer Jessie's calls. These days everything is just too overwhelming for me.

I stood up and face my full-body mirror. I sobbed as I stare at my image. I've gotten so big and ugly. I touched my face trying to look for the old me five years back.

Back then I was lean and strong and playing sports are a normal thing to do since Dad was a basketball coach.

He would take me on his hiking trips, swimming, and most especially, he would take me during his basketball practices.

I love it when he let me train with his boys, running and playing hoops with them for fun. My dad was so full of life until cancer got him.

I remembered it too well the night he died.

"Sweety." He gently nudged me because I slept on his bedside again. "I think you should go home and rest."

"What? I can't leave you here alone, dad. Mom will be over in a while, when she comes I'll go to school." I said with my eyes half-closed. I tried to suppress a yawn, but couldn't, it has been almost a week since he was hospitalized.

This was his longest stay so far and we were joking about how he loved staying at St. Michael's because the nurses were all pretty.

"Do you need anything?" I asked him.

"Just a glass of cold water sweety." He said smiling at me.

I wiped the beads of sweat on his forehead and feel his cheeks. "Dad, how can you be so sweaty when your skin feels really cold?"

"It's the cancer baby. It's giving me a hard time to sleep."

I went to the washroom to wet a towel and then I gently dabbed it to his face. Before I leave, I made sure that was comfortable.

"Thanks, Ash, I love you daughter." He said as I close the hospital door behind me.

There was no sign that he was leaving. At that time I blamed myself for his death, thinking if I've been there to call the nurses, he would've been saved that day.

I shut myself from everybody, including my mom. I wish to cope, but it did not help that my mom married two years after my dad died.

From there I fell farther down the sinkhole and found comfort in food and studies. Whenever loneliness hit me, I'd grab myself something to eat and read like crazy, so by this time that I finished college, I became this hideous pile of fat that jiggles with every move.

"Ashley?" Mom's voice pulled me from my deep thoughts.

"Mom?" I answered as I ran to the door. It's been months since we saw each other and I've missed her so much. My stepdad Will and she are on a business trip during my graduation, so they were not able to come.

I gave her a tight hug as I try to hide my tears, but mom can't be fooled. She knew exactly what was going on.

"Boys giving you a hard time again?"

I simply nodded, praying that she would just leave the subject alone.

I went to the kitchen to put the groceries she brought in the pantry.

"Looks like you're all set to leave." She said.

"Yeah. Jessica decided to move in with Marcus though, so I'll be renting solo."

"About that, Uncle Will has something to give you for your graduation."

She handed me a check for 100,000. This is more than enough to cover my six months rent.

"Mom, I can't accept this. This is too much."

"Take it! And don't bother paying for the rent, Will already arranged for your dorm so all you have to do is study. Someday you'll make a good nurse."

"Oh, Mom, you're so generous. Tell Uncle Will how much I appreciate his help."

"We are so proud of you, Ashley. Just keep your head high and don't mind those bastards who tease you."