Dummies Guide to Video Games (pt1)

Ah, a new genre. How terrible. Not only do I have to write another part, but you will also have to strain yourselves to learn a different way to write.

In this new genre... what the- HEY! Put the paper bag down, no reason to go hyperventilating on me! I know your ability to absorb new information is around the same as the pet rock you own, so I would never make you do anything challenging. Don't worry, my little morons, the difference in writing is almost nonexistent.

When I say "Change your writing", it is less about formulating a new way of storytelling and more about using the find/replace option on your computer. But let us forget about how they are similar, and instead talk about those little differences.

The biggest difference is the setting. Video games are a more modern luxury, so the world should resemble ours to some extent. However, there is one little difference from it being a copy of ours.

That difference? Virtual reality!

In this world, full-dive virtual reality is a part of everyday life. And by everyday life, I only mean video games. That is the only use for it, obviously. It couldn't possibly be used in any other avenue of life such as work, visiting family and friends, or other forms of entertainment. That would be somewhat competent world-building, so we can't have any of that.

Instead, the only thing people do is play a single virtual reality game. But having just a single one is rather unbelievable, so just claim that there use to be other games, but the big game just smashed through all the competition like it was a drunk driver going through a school zone.

But what type of game should we use? Since every person on this planet loves this game, it has to be something well respected and accepted by most people. With these requirements, only one type of game qualifies, and that is the MMORPG. As it turns out, no one gives a shit about lame games like Mario-Kart, so only MMORPG's will bring all the readers to your yard. After all, Who doesn't want to have that sweet VR experience of grinding for loot for hours on end?

It is also key that not a single person in this novel has any type of life. The sports teams all meet up to hunt goblins, and the CEO's have their pay-to-win accounts. The local news revolves around the virtual happenings of this world, focusing only on the important stories such as how some basement dweller managed to get out of the tutorial first. What a hero.

Now, since everyone is in love with the game, it is obvious that the company who made it will rule the world with an iron fist and own every other business. The group that controls the global economy isn't the Illuminati, it's Nintendo!

It must be noted that the con of this method is that the setting doesn't make sense if you dwell on it. However, the pro is that all we have to do to negate this downside is to close our eyes and hum until the complaints stop. Remember fellas, ignorance is key to success; there can't be a problem if we don't see it.

But what separates this game from all of the rest? Why does everyone love it from the bottom of their hearts? What gives this game its identity?

The answer is... I don't fuckin know, and neither should you. The game will be such an absolute flaming mess that it will make your ex look like a well balanced individual.

We may touch on this later. But first, I´m gonna teach you how to make the MC.

Stay safe my friends, smooches.