Chapter 33

Chapter 33

"Why are you here?" I immediately turned my head when I heard someone behind me. It was John.

"Why? Am I not allowed here?" I said as pushed the swing I'm sitting on to move.

"I heard from my mom." He sat at the swing beside me. "You have guests, your twin brothers."

I hissed. "I don't have brothers. Brothers don't betray and leave each other." I said. "I don't need brothers like them."

My brother who left 3 years ago, visited us again. Well, I don't really care. I tried my best not to encountered them, it's either I stayed inside the my room or outside, like here at the vacant lot near our house. It's been 3 years but I can't still forgive them for fooling me. The betrayal that they did was still fresh and painful.

Silence. I was still swinging the swing I'm sitting on when I heard John sighed.

"You're still lucky..." he said while staring at the sky.

I frowned and faced him. 'What is he saying?'

He spoke again but now, he's staring at my eyes as if he's digging something in me. "They love you."

I averted my eyes. "They hurt---"

"Don't be selfish, Kyle." That was he said.

I bit my lower lip. "Why are you siding them? I am your bestfriend John, not them." I know I shouldn't pour my anger to John but I can't help it. He should agree with me beacuse I'm his bestfriend!

I kept my eyes at the side, not looking at John. When I felt him moved and squatted infront of me. I lifted my face when he held my shoulder. His gaze was so intense, I don't know why he's suddenly like this. It seems like he's so affected with something.

"Don't let yourself be eaten by that hatred." He said. "Go talk to them." I sighed and nodded. John was never serious about something. His voice was like telling to just follow. I did. I followed what John told me to do. I was about to enter our house but I suddenly want to change my mind.

'It's easy to said than done!'

So, I ran towards our garden because I want hide in their. I still can't bring myself talk to those lying bastards. They freaking fooled me! They both sucks!

But before I could I reach the garden, I saw my mother talking to my brothers, Calix and Felix. They were at the side of the house. So instead of going to garden, I hide on the side were they can't see me and watch them talk. I can't hear them clear but looking at their faces, I knew they were in the midst of quarrel.

It wasn't that long when I saw them when I saw something. I was really shocked when my mother suddenly slapped Calix. Then Felix stopped him. But my mother kept on lashing out his rage. That moment, I heard him shout.

"Stop making all things hard for me!" That's what he said then walked away. The twins got nothing to do but to lowered their heads. Good thing, mother went the opposite way of my direction. He didn't notice me. When I saw that the twins left also, I stood up and ran towards my room.

That was the first time I saw mother that angry and even I'm not the one he was talking with, I can feel scared just by watching his angry face. My mother was never into violence. So, it was my first time seeing him hurt my brothers. After that day, Calix and Felix left our house and I got no chance to talk to them. But they insist of calling me, later on, I also forgave them. They promised not to do that again. And I accept their apologies and forgave them. I want to believe them again.

I don't know if I forgave them because of what I saw. But I know in myself, I don't want to see my mother be like that again...

I slowly opened my eyes when I heard my alarm ringing. I clicked my tongue then turned it off. I got up to bathe. Seriously, I just want to lay on my bed and keep sleeping for the whole. But I can't do that because the classes for this new year was already started. Few months by now, we will going to graduate and leave our alma mater.

After I finished preparing myself, I went out of my room. Our house was full of gloom. It isn't as lively as it was before. I guess, I was the only one here.

I sighed.

After that day I came from Chris' house, my parents specially my mother never dare to talk to me. He can't even stand being alone with me. He was so disappointed in me. His disappointment worsened when I refuse to tell them what really happen.

I haven't had the chance to talk to Amanda, she immediately went home when I arrived, I think she gave us time to talk but yeah, we still didn't since mother was so damn mad. Also, Amanda told me what happened during those days I was unconscious and everything just made sense.

"Your mother told me to go to your house, I did. When I arrived at your house, she told me that you haven't come home since you left for the party. She was sick worried about you." She said when I called her. "The next day, I went to check out if you're back and you did. I'm sorry, I didn't cover you up, Kyle. I really don't know where you were and you're mother was so furious."

I sighed. "It's okay, Amanda. I'll apologize also, I used your name as an excuse to mother. Sorry." I apologized. We bid goodbye before ending the call.

Now, a week passed since the day I went into heat. My parents were disappointed in me and my alpha's haven't call me either. I'm really pissed about it. I tried to calling him since that day but until now, he haven't answered any of my calls.

'He's a fucking jerk.'

I sighed.

There's much work to do today albeit the classes just got started. Right now, we're reviewing for the upcoming examination for the 1st quarter of the 2nd semester. This was easy for me since every night, I studied at our house.

When the bell rang for the class dismissal, I went at Leo's seat.

"Leo." I called him. "Are you free for today? Let's go to cafe, we can study there." His expression changed.

"I'm sorry, Kyle. I have to attend my uncle's shop at the town. Sorry!" He said.

"Really? What shop?"

"Bookstore, the old one, near the market."

"Oh yeah, I been there before." I said. I remeber that the bookstore where I bought the unfinished book written by Mr. Mr. Augustus. "If you're going there, can I come along?"

"Sure!"

Leo and I went to the shop. We rode Leo's car. It's already 4:21 P.M., so there's a lot of people in the street. Most of the people were students, they were wandering at the town. I was looking at the surroundings through the car's window when Leo spoke.

"Are you sure that it's not for you not to go home?" He asked. My shoulders drooped.

"Yeah... it's fine." For sure, my parents were still at their work and also, I know they won't be bothered to looked for me. They're dead ass mad about what I did. Either I go home early or late, they wouldn't care.

"Oh..." we fell into silent until we arrived at the shop. We hopped out if tge "We're here. Are you going inside?" At first, that's what I want but I changed my mind.

I shook my head. "Nah, I think I'll go to market to buy some stuffs."

"Is that so? Then I'll go inside." He said then tapped my shoulder. "Bye, Kyle. See you tomorrow."

I smiled. "Bye, Leo." I waved my hand then turned my body and walked away.

The truth is, I'm not going to market. I just felt that I'll be a distraction to Leo if I'm inside the shop. And also, I want to go somewhere to think. Lately, I'm thinking how my life changed. It was like hit by hurricane, it totally flipped and changed.

I sighed.

I didn't notice I've reached the Rewick's community park because I'm too much drown with my thoughts. Even if it's near twilight, I can still see kids playing and couples who were dating. Some of the people just came out the the mall beside the park. They all looked like happy and in blithe spirit which I truly envied.

'I hope I'm like that too.'

'I don't want anymore problems.'

'I'm tired of dealing my life's shits.'

That's what's on my mind. I sighed.

I saw bench near me, so I went there and sit. I was watching the people. Gradually, they all starting to leave the park as the sun sets. The happy and bright scenery I saw earlier was slowly turning into dull one.

That time, my tears started to fall. The whole surrounding suffocates me that all I can do was to cry and bawl my heart out. I don't care if there's still people around me. I can't stop myself or rather, I don't want to stop.

"Haahh..." I sighed while wiping my tears off. "Shit." I grasped my chest. My heart's still aching.

Although I kept on wiping my tears, later on, it'll be replaced with a new one. I feel so hopeless. I was shivering because the cold breeze and the pain I'm feeling. I hugged myself while still crying.

In the midst of my holler, my phones rings. I didn't look who the caller is, I just answered it then put it on my ear. I suppressed my bawl when I answered the call.

"Hello---"

"Kyle." This voice. "I'm sor---" I ended the call.

I squeezed my eyes closed. Why now?! I'm trying to calm myself! Why did he call?! Is he trying to hurt me more? Cause if he is, he's really winning because I'm fucking hurting right now.

My phone rang again and I sighed before answering it. "What?" Now, I'm not suppressing my tears.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I'm really busy to answer your calls. That day you called me many times, I---" I cut his words.

"I have a request, my alpha..." I said in low voice while sniffling. He didn't answered me for a moment. The I heard him sighed.

"What is it?" I can feel the nervousness in his voice.

I bit my lower lip. "Can you not call me again?" I heard him gasped. "Not even during my heat, don't come to help me. Give me 3 months of break from you. Promise me not to bother me during that period. Then after that... I'll decide if I'll accept you as my alpha again." I said. I was griping the strap of my bag while saying that. I don't know where do I get the confidence to say that but I still do managed to spill it.

He was breathing heavily. "I... I only missed once of your demands, Kyle. Just once..." he said in very sad voice. "Please... it will be the last time that, that will happen."

"Once?" I asked him. "But it hurts, my alpha. It hurts so damn much. I accept everything you wished for. You don't want to show yourself? I accepted it. You want to keep this relationship secret? I accepted it. You want me to wait? I accepted it." I bawled out. "I accepted all of it. My only wish... only... was to be with you at least once every 3 months. Once every 3 months. But you didn't made it. The once you missed was very big deal for me, my alpha."

"Then, let's meet!" I can hear the desperation in his voice. "You want to meet me now? It's fine for me! Just please... not like that Kyle. I'm really sorry for that---"

"That day, I knew you were there."

"W-what?" He stuttered.

"That day I called you many times. I smelled you, that triggered my heat." I said. "So tell me my alpha, what keeps you from coming that day? What keeps you from showing yourself to me?" My lips feels numb while saying that. "What's your secret, my alpha? Why can't you tell me?"

Minutes passed and he didn't answered. While I was still crying. I know, he heard me. I thought he'll comforts me or do something that will made me at ease. But in the end he didn't. He just hammered my heart into tiny pieces.

"Sorry..." my shoulders drooped. "Just three months right? Okay..." then the lined went out.

I can't believed it. He totally agree. That only made my heart wrecked.

"STUPID ALPHA! YOU'RE SO FUCKING STUPID!" I yelled. I don't think I'll stopped crying for tonight.

I don't know what time did I left the park. The night was on it's peak. Right now, I was riding a taxi back to our home. I still see some people walking around. My eyes were still puffy from my crying earlier. I looked like a total shit with it.

I hopped out of the taxi and paid for the bill when I arrived in front of our house. I opened the gate and entered. I was so shocked when I saw that all the lights were still open. Usually, right after mother and father finished their meal, they'll went to their room to take a rest. It was so unusual to see them awake.

I went to the front door and opened it then I saw mother and father sitting at the sofa. I saw how furious my mother's eye is. It was the same expression he had shown when I arrived after my heat.

"So, you have plan to go home?" Mother said in spiteful voice. "Why don't you just stay where you are instead of giving us hard time looking and waiting for you?! Didn't you know how worried we were when you didn't came home before?!" I bit my lower lips and lowered my head because of guilt. "Now you're repeating it again?! Answer us, Kyle! Do you really---" I didn't let him finsihed. I ran towards them and hugged them tight.

"I'm sorry! It's my fault! I'm being too reckless!" I apologized while crying. "It's my fault. I'm very sorry, mother, father. I'm a bad child... I'm really sorry. Forgive me, please..." I felt them stiffened. I was crying loud, asking for their forgiveness.

"Kyle..."

"I'm sorry... forgive me... it's my fault..."

I heard a clicked of a tongue. Then, I felt a hand caressed my back. "Shhh... it's okay." It was my father. He responded with my embrace. "Shhh now, my child."

"N-no... I'm... I'm really sorry. I broke my promise. I've been a bad child." I said while bawling out.

"Okay, okay. Shhh." Now, it was mother. He gathered my face and kissed my forehead. "I didn't forgive you yet. You still have a lot of things to explain. But now, stop crying okay?" I nodded. I can see that he's in the verge of crying.

"Yes, mother... I'm sorry." I said then hugged them again. They caressed my back, trying to calm me down. My mother spoke.

"Hush now, Kyle. Mother is here to listen." He said and I felt him kissed my head. Then he held my face. "Tell us, Kyle. What happened?"

My lips were trembling. "I..." in the end, I told them the reason.

-DriewNrocinu