America has lived a long hard life, when she was twelve her mother was killed in a bank robbery, leaving her father a drunken shell of a man. The only parental figure in her life is her sister, Brazil. All her life America has used fantasy and fiction as a crutch, a getaway car from life. But when her dreams to be an actress lead her down a life of torture, suffering, and horror, how can she go on?


(updates 3 chapters every week on Sunday, except for on breaks, I am a student so there will be some variations with updates.)

Masks and Shows

ROMANCE

CAMPUS

Okay, so here's my review! :)

Minor errors in grammar, but that is simply a room for improvement and it can fixed easily. Other than that, this story has a good potential.

I can't exactly good yet, cause it's still lacking in chapters and I have to get a clearer picture of how and where this story is going to go. Even so, when I read the story, it felt like I was reading a book. It was nostalgic for me, so I'll give this story a 4/5.

I hope you the best of luck in finishing this story, and thanks again for kind review and ratings! Have a nice day! :D

Way too early to leave a review but I believe you truly deserve it. 

First, the storyline. Too early for me to have an idea of the storyline's direction. So, I will come back to this in the nearest future. For this, 4 stars. Might be higher or lower later in the future.

Second, the characters. I believe your characters are proving to be reasonable ones so far. I don't know if it's a single FL or two FLs, but I like them. 4.5 stars.

Third, the writing quality. excellent use of the words in English. 4.5 stars.

Fourth, the worldbuilding. Too early. I don't know the setting of your world yet. I will come back for it. So 4 stars for now.

Fifth, update. I give you 5 stars.

Great book so far, keep it up.

I like the way the protagonist scrutinizes her own life and strives for perfection. You show, not tell that the protagonist is a perfectionist. 

This also reminds me of how I don't miss school at all. I did "AP Everything" as well and had a lot of doing it, but I'm glad I get to do what I want now.

I wasn't focusing on grammar, but I didn't see any errors.

This is an honest review, not just a swap review.

Suddenly a short first chapter. But this also has its own highlight. Brevity is the soul of wit. That is simple and tasteful.

The second chapter, a little incomprehensible, who is Brazil?

The conversation skips, it is not clear why there is a dialogue on this topic.

And then in general the topic becomes somehow incomprehensible or understandable only to gamers, those who are aware of the basics, but are not familiar to the reader with this world, subculture, it says nothing.

Who are Mark, Emma and James? Who is Cal?

Some slang accretions that are probably accepted in your country or world, but which are little known in other regions of the world. Therefore, it would be nice to have a tesarius for them under the page.

There are pluses, it is the emotionality of the heroes of the novel, it very well shows their state of mind at the moment of conversation. Emotions are boiling!

But the chapter is too long in my opinion, it could be divided into several. Although perhaps this is such a marketing (?) Or another move by the author to attract readers. A small chapter, then a large one, I wonder what will be the next chapter?

Does the color of the gig play a role? Will he appear in the novel again? and the BMW car brand speaks of the status of the owner or his preference to use European models?

What is NTPA? You must specify the decryption. Not everyone can know what is at stake.

The text has a lot of slang expressions specific to acting, who do not know this sub-culture may not understand what is at stake. That is, the novel already limits its audience, it is probably aimed at those who know this world, and not ordinary people who don’t know how the world of the theater works. Not all people in the world go to the theater.

The life of the heroes of the novel is presented in an interesting way, as if you were watching a movie.

I am pleased with the set pace of 3 chapters per day. I wonder if the author will be able to adhere to it throughout the week? But this is offtopic.

By the style of writing, it seems I have already read something and somewhere, maybe on the forum? Does the author seem to have several accounts? Or maybe it just seems to me.

The idiom is not entirely clear about the duck and the cat, an explanation is needed, perhaps in the USA it is clear and understandable, but in other countries they do not know anything about the meaning of this idiom. It is worth paying attention to how idioms are used in Chinese novels, for example, “when the hounds drove the hare they can be cooked and eaten”, an explanation is given in brackets (that as a person fulfilled his role and took the other person into a snare, he is no longer needed and from you can get rid of it). Simple, clear and understandable.

Who is Miss Oh?

I wonder how a convertible from BMW suddenly became Audi?

Alicha ????

It seems too many heroes.

At the end of the chapter, intrigue persists. But it seems she was already somewhere ... that is, the story can go on the usual cliché? It is too early to talk about this, you need to wait for the fourth chapter.


In three chapters it is difficult to judge the whole novel. But certain trends in the development of the novel can probably be traced.


Updates? Will the author be able to maintain a given pace? How long? A week? Month? Six months? Year? This is a question for which there is no clear answer. Unclear 5 stars? Probably still 4 ?! Since it is unclear whether the author will be able to maintain a given pace?

The world in which the characters live is not clearly spelled out, it seems that they are college students and this is called a school.

As I wrote earlier, a lot of slang expressions are used that are not clear to other readers. 4 stars.

Character? it’s not clear who the heroes themselves are, many names, but what characters do they possess, who are they? Where from? What do they live with? 3 stars

It is written better than I write, so I can confidently put 5 stars.

The development of history is still clear - 5 stars.

Overall rating 4, 2 stars

Thanks to the author for his creative inspiration, and for being able to introduce the reader to his world, it was interesting.

Eye catcher from the start. Even tho the intro/prologue is short , it suprised me on the following chapter. You have to imporve more about:

Your development
Minor errors

This is great novel i hope you still updating until the end and never stop writing novel until it will be the best^^~


-luciel_707-