Home - Or Is It?

The streets to the house were quiet. Some of the houses Josh passed by were lighted. Many had already come home from work and school and were probably eating, or at least preparing dinner. Some houses, on the other hand, were still dark. Josh thought maybe the owners dined out for the night, or maybe they were at the movies, or maybe on vacation.

There were some teenagers on the street. One group had skateboards with them. They were practicing stunts but stopped when Josh passed by. They watched him walk his usual route to the house. It wasn't a rough neighborhood but it's definitely nothing fancy. Most of the people who lived there worked hard to make ends meet. Most of the people were friendly, too. Although, there were also some who kept to themselves and one would rarely see these people go out of their houses, if not to buy food or run errands.

He kept walking down the street until he reached the last block where he turned right. A dog barked as he passed a house. When he looked, the dog was at the porch with its owner who was drinking what Josh guessed was beer. As he approached the green house, he saw that some lights on the front lawn were on. He guessed they were waiting for him and wanted to light the pathway for him to see. He looked at the house as he was approaching it. The white picket fence clearly needed repainting. The gate creaked as he opened it. He made a mental note that the hinges needed some oiling. He'd been meaning to do that for some time now but the cares of the day kept getting in the way.

He walked the stone-decorated pathway to the house. He noticed some of the plants were too tall already, too bushy and needed some trimming. The grass also needed mowing. He had been so busy lately that he couldn't find time to keep the lawn well trimmed. The flowers were blooming late this year which somehow made the garden look lovely despite the overly grown plants and shrubs.

As he walked the pathway leading to the front door, he noticed part of the corner of the roof to the right side of the house is starting to give. He thought of saving money to have that repaired before the rains come but to that day, he had zero savings. He had used up all his money for Alynna.

The outside walls of the house was the only decently maintained part of the house. He had painted it himself just 6 months ago. The paint still looked fresh and the colors still lively. He noticed that the windows were extra clean today, and the curtains were changed. They weren't the same curtains they had when he left for work that morning. In the dim light of the night, the house looked warm and cozy.

The porch was also lit by a yellow bulb. He fumbled for the key in his pocket but couldn't find it. He looked for the potted orange daisies near the door. He felt around it and then under it and found the spare key. He placed the key in the hole and slowly turned the knob.

"Hello!" Josh called out as soon as he was through the front door. He made it a point that no matter how tired he was, he would always enter the house as lively as possible. He pulled the key from the knob and hung it in one of the hooks behind the door.

"We're in the kitchen!" A woman's voice called out to him. Josh walked by the den to see the TV was on. A popular cartoon show was blaring from the TV.

"Who's watching TV?" He didn't get any reply but a little girl came running to meet him.

"Hey, there, Stella! Where's Mommy?"

"In the kitchen," said the little girl after Josh had carried her into his arms.

"You left the TV on again. I told you to turn it off when you're done watching, right?"

Stella only answered giggles and then put her arms around Josh's neck.

Josh smiled. Stella has already mastered how to make his anger go away. He carried her all the way to the kitchen.

"Alynna, you let her leave the TV on again." Josh said as he put down Stella in one of the chairs at the dining table.

"Sorry, I was preparing dinner when I left her. I didn't know she left it on."

"It's okay. Just don't let her get used to it." Josh went to where Alynna was.

"And I also told you to rest and leave the cooking to me."

"I don't want to stay here doing nothing, Josh. I'm not invalid. Besides, it's late and Stella's hungry."

Josh turned to Stella. "Stella, why don't you go up for a while and find some paper and crayons. I'm gonna draw something really nice for you."

Stella's eyes sparkled. She loved drawing and coloring. She quickly climbed down from her chair and climbed the stairs, holding tightly onto the railing as she made her way up.

Josh faced Alynna as soon as he thought Stella was out of earshot.

"I'm not saying you're invalid. I'm just saying that you should rest so that you can recover faster." Josh reached out for her hand. "Think of Stella. She needs her mother."

"And I'm right here. I take care of her all day. I do stuff in the house. I cook for her. I am trying to be as normal as possible for her." Alynna felt tears starting to well in her eyes. She pulled her hand away from Josh's so that he couldn't see her tears but it was too late. A tear rolled down her cheeks as she turned from Josh. Josh put his arms around her waist, hugging her from behind.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just want you to… be well — for Stella." Josh kissed the back of her head before letting her go.

"I know." Alynna whispered and then turned around to face Josh. "But just in case…"

"Stop that. I don't want to hear it." Josh covered his ears. "Now, how about some dinner? I'm starving." Josh smiled at Alynna.

"Sure. Sit down, I'll get you a plate."

. . .

"That was delicious."Josh was helping Alynna clear the table after they ate their dinner.

"Thank you. Although you say that everyday." She giggled. She remembered the first time she cooked for Josh. It was near inedible but he still pretended it tasted good and finished the food in his plate.

And as if Josh was thinking the same thing, he laughed. "You've learned a lot."

"Yeah, well… I had to." She smiled, looking at Stella as she said the words. Stella's a picky eater. She wouldn't touch food that didn't look good or that smelled funny. Alynna had watched every cooking show she could and bought every cookbook she could afford just to learn how to cook.

"So… how's work today?"

"It was okay. Nothing unusual." He was thinking if he'd tell Alynna about Amanda.

"Really? Just the normal, average day at work?"

"Yeah," Josh replied. "Uhm, there was one new employee on the floor. That's about it."

"I see… And what do you think about him?"

"Her," Josh corrected. "The new employee's a female."

"Oh, I see," Alynna felt uncomfortable every time she hears there's a new girl where Josh works. She had become jealous of many of the ladies there. Alynna cleared her throat. "So, tell me about her."

"There's nothing much to tell. She's young, fresh out of college, and she's the new Office Assistant."

"Office Assistant? Like you? You mean you work with her most of the time."

"Yes, like me. And no, I don't work with her most of the time."

"And… Is… she… pretty?" Alynna had been dying to ask that.

"She's… she's okay." Josh wanted to say how beautiful Amanda was but he knew that Alynna would be jealous if she knew that.

Josh wanted to change the subject — fast. "Now, come on, let me take care of the dishes. How about you prepare Stella for bed and then you go get cleaned up, too." He took the plates from the table and placed them in the sink.

Alynna complied. She didn't want to argue with Josh anymore. She got Stella and they both went upstairs to prepare for bed.

When Josh was alone in the kitchen, he wanted to kick himself for not being honest with Alynna.

"Why didn't I just tell her about Amanda? It's not like I'm doing anything wrong. I just think she's beautiful, that's all." He said to himself as he turned on the faucet.

He started rinsing the food off the plates before he loaded them into the old dishwasher. He placed soap in the container and ran a cycle. Those that cannot be washed in the dishwasher he started washing by hand.

He was doing this chore but his mind was somewhere else. He remembered Amanda - her shiny hair, the scent of her perfume, her lips, her eyes, even the way she smiled. He loved talking to her. And then he remembered how he got Amanda's number. He got excited and wanted to finish the dishes quickly so he could call her. But not while Alynna was still awake — no. He didn't want Alynna to find out he's attracted to someone from work where he had every opportunity to see, talk and just be with that someone everyday.

No, this is one thing he doesn't want Alynna to know, at least not at this moment — or maybe not ever.