In pain and too far gone

I feel nothing, my mind, body, even my soul feels as though they've been infected with impervious glue. That has managed to enclose my entire body, seeping into my skin, my bones joining with my blood cells. All aspects of me defiled even my heart feels as if time had stopped. The beating long gone.

"What would I know about feeling nothing? us humans say the strangest things when we're pushed against the wall". I thought seemingly just gaining consciousness. With the suddenness and strangely awkwardness of consciousness.

I attempt to engage with my surroundings. The forest was loud, filled with the sounds of creaking branches, wolfing winds with insects humming strange tunes. My mind wanted to understand but it was all just too strange. To tie it all together was the chirping of birds. Each bird playing its part, to the best of its ability.

There's a growing dry, scratchy sensation in my throat layered with the feeling a slight burning, most like caused by the shallow breathing that I've recently started doing. I've haven't moved an ich since I sat down here, I'm still in the forest, I can hear the thunderous heartbeat of the forest. Each creature crawling towards my eardrums demanding to be heard, though my eyes aren't open, I can see. My sight is more than sight, more akin to becoming one with the forest and its creatures in such excruciating detail.

Nothing ever experienced or dreamt of until this point has felt so real. What made it all so sad, heartbreaking even was the fact that I experienced it all at the same time. Like a flashbang going off only lasting a second. But in that second nothing felt-like feel.

There was a growing pain in my abdominal. Pulling me out of my deep thoughts. At first, it made me want to quit and run home but after some time it has calmed to a bearable extent, it seems that the dragon is doing its part, though it really just keep me on the brink of bursting. It's alright for now. "What was that?" I thought of thinking about the sudden pain I just went through. I know the book speaks of breaking the qi ball and releasing the qi inside creating a qi center but I feel as though theirs so much qi inside me that if I ever choose to break the qi ball the aftermath of such a gigantic release of qi would destroy me.

"Well, for now, let's just get off the floor," I thought somewhat casually, my eyes opened slowly, the darkness that I saw, made me all too aware of how long I'd been sitting here. "It's already this late?" I thought while slowly inching to my feet, a light twitching could be felt in both of my thighs, just putting pressure on them made me nearly fold.

And my knees oh my knees, felt brittle, corrosion seeped through it. "This is it," I thought, just barely holding off the pain ensuing from just me getting up. I mustered all the strength I could, the process felt as if "I was attempting to hold water in a bowl with large holes in the bottom." When I got to my feet, I could feel qi still entering my ball, at a much slower rate but still entering my body is a good thing.

The walk back to the cabin was excruciating, my body was weighed down, picked on by gravity. Steps no longer requiring the same amount of effort as before. Now requiring me to concentrate all my strength towards moving one foot, each foot feels nailed to the dirt. I'd pick up one foot and place it may be an inch if I'm being generous with my guess in front then do this again and again. "Nothing I can do," I thought while moving towards the cabin at the speed I could muster. The darkness didn't bother me, it's strange I know but I've been in this forest for so long that I don't care what you do. Blindfold me, erase my memories id still be able to navigate this forest.

When I finally got to the cabin daylight was slowly easing its way through the darkness. Damn it, I shouted, easing my way to the cabin out of breath and dreary eyed. When inside the cabin, I found the tattered, dull-looking golden-brown couch. I honestly didn't want to lay on it, but there's nothing better than this to sleep on...

I didn't get much sleep, waking up sporadically to fight the painful sensation inside of me. Id screams out in pain, no longer having the strength to hold up the image of being strong. While asleep the qi would swell up and grow, I felt as though my stomach was going to explode. This went on for the whole night. If I had to total up how long I slept id say just about 30 mins.

"Damn it" I shouted getting out of bed and slowly liming towards the book laying near my backpack. If I can't get any sleep I might as well read more about the different qi stages. The suns coming up, I don't have to wait long. While looking through the book. The stage that really drew me in was the transformation and conjuration stages.

"The transformation stage pertained to taking qi from its most basic form, and transforming it into whatever the martial artist can imagine, this includes the basic elemental change, fire, wind, lightning, earth, etc. But also, more dangers and unique changes. Things like poisonous mist, light, darkness, etc." "This is perfect for me," I thought. No longer paying attention to the pain in my stomach.

The other interesting one was the qi conjuration stage. This stage had the shortest description but was the most interesting and mysterious stage. Conjuration is the ability to create an object/creature bestowed with whatever special effect/ qi ability you can imagine. If you possess the required ability/qi to do so." I'm assuming from what I read that I can practically create a bodyguard that is impervious to damage so long as I have the ability/qi required to conjure such a being. This stage obviously brings up so many questions, but I didn't want nor have time to ask them all.

Id started feeling better, the pain had subsided. It was just about 8:00 am, id been awake since... well forever as far as I'm concerned. I had little to do, I just finished reading up on the different qi stages. But that felt like hours ago now. "What am I waiting for?" I asked, with no one in the room. My mind drifted towards the book that I felt like I put down just a few seconds ago, I flipped through the mundane pages until I landed on a page dealing with qi meridians.

I remembered in an early page it talked about needing at least three meridians opened. The nine basic qi meridians must be unlocked to properly facilitate the martial artist's use of qi in any given moment. Without a place to live qi suffocates and dies, without qi the martial artist suffocates and dies.

I decided to start the first stage, called the Breath of a new life. For this stage, the martial artist must permanently change the way they breathe. The body of the martial artist needs qi as such to properly walk the path of a martial artist, qi must forever be inside the martial artist. Breath in qi. the description made it seem impossible.

But after reading more into the breathing technique it appeared easy to follow. "This is the path of becoming a martial artist," I said solidifying my desire to walk to this no matter what I become.

It seems this stage is a stage of permanent meditation. With my knack for understanding qi meditations, I got the gist of the "breath of new life" quickly. Though I could feel a slight outline of it. The process was time-consuming, looking at my phone I missed a few calls from my dad.

But he sent a text letting me know that he'd be here in about 20 minutes. That was about 17 minutes ago. I got up slowly and waited outside for him.

"What's my life becoming?" I thought while looking out towards the endless rows of trees, feeling closer to them than anything else. Every second of every day has been spent wondering about qi. ever since I opened took that damn book. I haven't felt very alive at least not yet.

My father was pulling up to the cabin. I waved at him with a big smile on my face. It was odd he jumped out of the jeep and waved me over. Hurry up we've got to go" he shouted. Shit, I thought, standing up, getting my teeth as much as I could. Trying to walk normally, in hopes of him not discovering how much pain I was in. "it worked" I thought while getting into the car, "where to dad?" I said while putting on the best act I could.

We're going to get you the bike Andrew said he'd give you" "oh alright cool it's the old red one he uses to drive around right?" I asked, "yeah," my father said practically forcing himself to hold back a smile.

The rest of the ride was filled with small talk. "We're here hurry up," my father said rushing out of the car. The place was Andrews's house, a house laid bare" would be the best way to describe it. All the white paint had long since been chipped off, leaving only the dark brown wood to be seen. It was the typical longshore house, not too big not to small, it had only one floor with a fence around it, surrounded by bushes and trees, and a large garage. Accompanied by the signature longshore large windows. That yes was always open.

"Alright I'm coming just give me a second," I said slowly getting out of the car, with a few deep breaths I did a light sprint towards him, "Andrew" I shouted. Though he was a lot older than me, he acted more like a kid than anyone and was a great family friend. my father directed me towards the garage, "open it" he said. "Oh, come on, what's in there? I know what you're doing"

I said while laughing. I pressed the side my face up against the warm garage door trying to hear any voice. "They're good, managing to stay quiet for this long. Impressive." I said while reaching for the garage handle.

When I opened it, I found no one inside, only a big red box with a ribbon on top. I did a few laps around it, tapped it a little. Gave my dad a few looks. Then I reached towards the ribbon on top and pulled it off. What laid inside was an old dusty dirt bike with a flat tire. After noticing seeing it, I was very disappointed, but it was something my family went out of their way to get for me. Thank you" I said giving my dad a big hug.

"So, are we going to fix it up with Andrew sometime this summer?" I said standing by my father, who had an honestly shocked look on his face. "Come out everyone my boys all grown up" he shouted. About 20 people rushed out of the bushes.

My mom, Samuel, Richard, baby sister Margaret, Sherley, Mercia and a few of my cousins. Were the only people I really knew. Everyone else was friends of my family or just neighborhood kids who I maybe talked to once or twice. "Awe my baby, is all grown up," my mother said while holding a video camera to my face. "Could you stop? Come on. I'm 17 not twelve. What'd you think I'd do start crying or something?"

I said leaning back. Everyone talked among themselves, apparently, I was more popular than I knew. Bets were placed on how id react to being shown a dented and used bike. Most people bet on me crying or throwing a tantrum.

Hey there? Why do you look so down?" Sherley asked with a camera in her hand. "Do you even have to ask; I can't believe all these people thought I was so shallow?" I said. "Not shallow young Alex. No no everyone thought you were a cry baby," she said barely holding back her smile. "Hey," Mercia said waving to me.

"Hey, how are you? I didn't think you'd be here"

"Sherley told me about it and I said I wanted to come, oh almost forgot," she said handing me a slip of paper. Written on it was IOU.

"What's this for?" I said

"Sorry Sherley gave it to me, she said your parents told her to give it to you. Something about you paying rent. Umm starting after you get paid."

She said, with a slight smile. I held the paper in my hand for quite some time, trying to see my parents. "They've pulled a disappearance act," I thought.

Only breaking out of my thought when I noticed Mercia walking away.

"Wait. What are your plans for the summer?" geez what a stupid question

"umm I don't know, I'm probably just going to follow Sherley around, hoping that it leads me to more fun" she said staring at me with her leafy green eyes. I've already come this far; I might as well go the whole way.

"so, do you have a boyfriend?"

"I'm sorry what'd you say? Someone just yelled my name… sorry I've got to go"

she said red in the face practically running off. After she left, I could only hear laughter coming from behind me. It was the main suspect. Richard, Samuel, and my cousin Oliver. They were practically dying, Richard, pretending to revive Oliver after he died of laughter. "Fuck all of you," I said walking off. "He shoots and he misses" yelled Samuel.

I swear I'm going to kick the shit out of this kid one of these days. When I went back to the garage, I saw my dad and Andrew bringing in another box and Sherley and Mercia talking. I chose to ignore the later and focus on the box.

"Come open your present A, to congratulate you on your first job" my dad shouted.