Depersonalization

Depersonalization, the phenomenon where you become detached from yourself, taking a third-person like view to your life and wondering if it's truly who you are. Throughout the world, many people experience this, oftening mistaking it for depression and anxiety like everything is out of your control. More often than not, it's easily fixed in the cure of time, and forgotten as we soon again get absorbed in our daily lives.

Gray Pandora, diagnosed with depersonalization, experiences this daily. He fluctuates between differing personalities and is known to be mute. At the time where he was born, he did come out crying from his mother's womb, and everything seemed normal at a first glance. However, as days transformed into weeks, they soon realized that their son would fall quiet, stare up into the ceiling or sky, and stand there planted.

Gray's parents took notice of this with great concern, wondering whether he was mentally ill but took some time to see whether this was just a peculiar stage of his. Yet, as they continued to turn a blind eye, and with him being vegetated, they rushed him to the doctors in hopes that they'll fix their son.

.....

"...As you can see, Mr. and Mrs. Pandora, your child is suffering from a bout of derealization and depersonalization. Every hour or so his mind fires all of it's nerves at once and puts him into this trance like state." The doctor spoke in a slow monotone, his eyes containing little sympathy and more annoyance. "There could be many causes for this, but we're still making discoveries in this field of work and sadly we're not competent enough to figure out a treatment plan. My condolences." After a moment of glancing between the haggard eyes of the parents, he shook his head with a sigh, forcing a small smile before walking off.

Gray's parents could only look on with remorse and despair, their hold upon their child's shoulders increasing in tension. Gray was now 5 years old, with abnormal silver hair color and bleached white irises. Alice, his mother, began to cry, moving close to her husband's chest while pulling Gray into their sorrowful embrace.

Alex, Gray's father, took a great deal to remain stoic , but after a few moments hearing his beloved crying so desperately, he conceded, joining her along with salty tears streaming along his cheeks.

Gray, oblivious to his parent's dismay and hopelessness, continued to stare up at the ceiling with now a curious glint, his peculiar white eyes half focused.

.....

A couple years pass, and now Gray was 12 years old. His life was relatively normal except there was no semblance of intimacy with his parents now. When they walked into his room, they had cold eyes and indifferent attitudes while they placed food in front of him. His clothes only consisted of a few t-shirts and jeans, but that was it. Worn out converse were by his mattress on the ground, and his whole room was bare of any decorations.

He was homeschooled because of his condition but rather than answer any question, he'd write it out. For some reason, he was able to understand them but was unable to fully pay attention, hence the parent's growing coldness for him.

Sitting in his wooden chair, Gray laid his immaculate chin upon his palm, staring at a lone pencil that slowly rolled with each push of his finger. He spent his days in isolation now, except the occasional plate that was set in front of him.

After a moment, he stopped the pencil, and sat back against his chair before finally muttering his first word that he has ever spoken...

"Fuck."