Demetrius

I thought about my options and I don't like either one just to have what I want. I do understand what she's saying and I just need to clear my head. I gave her a hug and kiss and told her I needed time on my own so I am leaving for a while. I know we haven't been together long she just moved in. I am crazy about her but I have a funny feeling that she doesn't like my family and my family doesn't like her I know my family doesn't like her because of all the questions one after another and it almost looked like she wanted to feed on them all and then burn their bodies I can't really blame her but that is still my family. I just wish they can get along and maybe they might depending on what I choose.

I also know it's gotta be hard on her because she has a kid involved in all this and she's been through a lot as well. I know she doesn't trust easy and she's not an open book. Scarlet keeps more and more things hidden and I have no idea why. I wouldn't tell anyone or go behind her back to do so. I just wish Scarlet would understand that I know she wants me to make a decision right now but I cant and I know I need to tell her that. We still talk and understand each other its just not over a phone or in a club or anything like that. I know at one point she was going to turn me but Dorian got to me first it felt like he was going to break my neck. All I remember from that night is I woke up in the ally.

Lucky for me its summer and its hot out and nothing to loose really. I just don't understand why Dorian didn't kill me or turn me and why in the fuck he didn't finish the job. My life is hell my family drives me nuts and I am tired of everything Scarlet holds me to this earth but even I don't think its good enough. I love her son he is very sweet and so tiny he's very cute. Keithstone looks a lot like his mom. I don't know about his dad because I never met the guy I am guessing he took off the min he found out she was pregnant like most men. I don't want to be a father figure but someone who will be there when things get tough. I have been walking for a while now and all these thoughts in my head and I have a feeling she will be coming to look for me if I am not back and I know she will wait till Keithstone is fully asleep.

I know we don't have anymore blood bags she drank every last one hoping she didn't turn me. I also don't see what the issue is when she keeps everything so damn hidden. Like what's on her mind what are her thoughts. Why wont she open up and let me in and let me be that some one who's her soulmate or something. All I can also think about is when she is happy and we kiss or laugh even though at one point she was crying and she said she had no idea why I think she does but she's not wanting me to know or to let me in. I do love her and I do want what is best for her and her son. I wonder if Scarlet is going out hunting and I want to know what that is like. I bet the chase and the games to be a hunter is fun being the hunted is not fun but getting my blood drank feels so good its like a high feeling. I know Scarlet and me are met for each other I wish she could see and feel that.

I have no idea how far I even walked I am starting to think I am walking in circles because nothing has changed and I haven't took a walk around I just drove to get where I need to be but now I think I should have taken a drive not a walk. Its starting to get darker out here and I can't even see where I am even going now. I pull out my phone to see if I can call her and to see if she can find me but I have no service at all and my phone is about to die. I just heard something like a branch just snap and I am starting to panic just a bit. All of a sudden its like I am flying and then I hit the side of a brick wall and the air is knocked out of me its hard to stand or move. I don't know what's going on or what's about to happen to me. I feel so dizzy and before I could look at who had done this to me I pass out.